Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Johnathan, George or Bill Bailey --
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames;
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name thatís particular;
A name thatís peculiar, and more dignified.
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopuat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorium -
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond thereís still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover -
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same;
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name
His ineffable effable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name
Last Update: 15 March 2001