SUCCESS:
 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
 successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 STYLE:
 Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
 deteriorate during the night.

 MONEY MANAGEMENT:
 A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he
 wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't
 want.

 HAPPINESS:
 To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a
 little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to
 understand her at all.

 MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
 marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

 MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
 Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious.
 Both are disappointed.

 MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never
 worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 MEMORIES:
 A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry
 her. A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.

 UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:
 There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
 marriage and after marriage.

 WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
 Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...- One is to let
 her think she is having her own way - The other is to let her have it.

 LONGEVITY:
 Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
 willing to die.

 MISTAKES:
 Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people
 remembering the same thing.

 THE BATTLE:
 A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
 after that is the beginning of a new
 argument.