I first saw this poem on a restuarant wall, it tickled my funny bone,
I've decided that THIS is what Phantom wants to be when she is old!
So if you see an old woman wearing purple, with a red hat that doesn't
go and doesn't suit her.....
You know it is the Phantom!!!! LOL



"When I am an old Woman"


When I am an old Woman
I shall wear purple
with a red hat which doesn’t go
and doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on
brandy and summer gloves
and satin sandals
and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement
when I’m tired and gobble up
samples in shops and press
alarm bells and run my stick
along public railings and make
up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain and pick flowers from other
peoples gardens and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts
and grow more fat and eat
three pounds of sausage at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week and hoard pens and pencils
and beer mats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes
that keep us dry and pay our
rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for our children and we must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a
little now.... so people who know me are not too shocked or surprised when suddenly
I am old
and start to
wear purple

Author Jenny Joseph