(2002)

review by:

1-08-04

Written by: Lenny Juliano Directed by: Jim Wynorski Starring: Tamie Sheffield, Charity Rahmer, Gigi Erneta With: Brinke Stevens

A small squad of cheerleaders gets stranded in a house on a snowy mountain. Someone picks up a knife, and the squad gets smaller and smaller... Well, the 80's are not dead. Or so Wynorski would have you think with this by-the-numbers, step-by-step rehashing of the horror film formula. Cheerleader Massacre starts with a couple about to fornicate, a tit shot, a mysterious noise outside, and the murders of these horny kids. The rest of the film is just as predictable. We all know how these movies work, and so does Wynorski, a cheese-horror veteran who doesn't tread off the oft-traveled path for one second. Cheerleader Massacre is alright, but it doesn't appear to have a mind of its own. The plot, of course, is nothing remotely new. Neither is the dialogue, standard of acting, etc. It's a desperate reminder of the by-gone horror days, with half the style. This movie tries so hard to be like its forefathers that it actually assimilates parts of them. In Brinke Stevens' first and only scene, there is a pointless flashback...to a scene in Slumber Party Massacre. But said movie is shot in real film, whereas Cheerleader Massacre is digital. This transition pulled us out of the movie faster than a kick to the groin, and made us want to watch the other, better-looking film rather than the thing we were currently viewing. And of course, Brinke Stevens' character is not seen again in this movie, making us wonder if there was any point to the flashback at all. But wait, there's more. If you see Cheerleader Massacre and the music sounds familiar, it is (GameSlave commented on what sounded like Klingon Battle music played over a sex scene). The score is stolen from Humanoids From The Deep and Battle Beyond The Stars, both cheesy films form 1980. Don Savio, credited for the music, is an invisible man with a fake name. Now, with all that out of the way, Cheerleader Massacre had its occasional good point. A girl's body in a stall drips blood as her friend talks to her. A shot or two is framed in an interesting way. And a couple of characters actually show some cleverness in dispatching the killer. But are these things enough to save the movie? No. Cheerleader Massacre is exactly what it sounds like. Had it had a sense of humor, this movie could have been great, but it's just another slasher flick with the required amount of boobs, blades, and blood. It's a reminder of those good 80's movies, and shelved right next to those good 80's movies, which you should rent instead.

Rating