(2002)

review by:

6-9-03

Written and Directed by: Rob Zombie Starring: Karen Black, Chris Hardwick, Bill Moseley, Sid Haig

During the late 1970's, two couples took a trip across America to gather information for a novel that would review all backside sideshow areas in the country. They came across a gas station that had a horror ride as an attraction. The announcer, a bald guy who dressed like a clown, told various stories involving murder cases, while puppets and animatronics were displayed in front of the couples. The last display really got their attention; it was about Dr. Satan, a crazed medical professional who preformed really, really weird shit on his patients. The couples got excited and asked for more information on him. The clown told them the location of where he was buried, and then they went off in search of the grave. On the way they came across a hitchhiker, an annoying blond hillbilly, who just so happened to live right next to the grave of Dr. Satan. She took them to her home and then they got to meet her family; a group of hillbillies who had just kidnapped, raped, and killed a bunch of cheerleaders. Of course all hell breaks loose. The leader hillbilly kills one guy and turns him into a fish-boy (a very graphic and gory display of art). After that, the hillbillies think it's a good idea for them to meet the legendary Dr. Satan, who they apparently worship. On the way to Dr. Satan, there are many attempted escapes, and a few deaths. Only one girl manages to actually see the good Doctor, but she escapes. Or does she? I won't tell you. HAHAHAHA!!!! (Aren't I a bitch of a Queen) This film is on our site because it basically ate bum dung at the box office (I actually found out today that it opened in very few theaters, and actually did have a high income-per-screen average -Honumon). However, I must say, for being a total Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-off, this movie was awesome. It was shot beautifully. Rob Zombie, in my eyes, is a genius. The camera angles, the edits, the gore, Oh my!! All of it was great. And I know it's been played before, a bunch of psycho hillbillies meet normal teenaged city-folk, but come on people!!! How can you not love hillbillies? This was a very gory movie, it definitely ranks up there; so if that's your thing, this is the movie for you. The lead hillbilly removes the face of a guy and wears it as a mask. I had a bad experience with this movie, however; some chick right in back of me at the theater kept making ridiculous comments. "Why don't you grab the axe bitch?", "That was unnecessary!" (Referring to fish-boy), "What a bunch of idiots!" Now I am a tolerant person, but she pushed my limits. I was SO tempted to stand up and put her in her place. YOU DON"T ASK THOSE KIND OF QUESTIONS OR SAY THOSE THINGS WHEN IT COMES TO HORROR MOVIES!!!! Sorry, just ranting, but this did taint my experience of the movie. If you ignore the obvious storyline rip-off, House of 1000 Corpses was an awesome movie. In fact, the direction and editing were done so well, I am going to ignore the story "borrowing" and give it an "AWESOME" rating. And as you know, very few movies achieve that status here at Phantom Films.

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