(2000)
4-21-04 |
Story by: Jonathan Raymond Directed by: Matt Codd Starring: David Kieth, James Hong, Ryan O'Neal |
To begin, I have to say that the obelisk is perhaps the single coolest thing I've ever seen in a made-for-TV movie. I want it to be my house. I want to live inside it and laugh at the pitiful fools on the outside. It just radiates cool, and it does stuff too. There's too many reasons to count why this is cool. The characters are one stereotype after another. Mason Rand (David Keith) is the intuitive scientist who acts on instinct, and is always right. He jumps to one wild conclusion after another, with almost no evidence, and his first guess is correct. This guy could open a bank safe by guessing the combination. Think of MacGyver without the mullet or the basis in real science. No, MacGyver was cool, I just want to punch Rand in the face until his fingers twitch. And the military supporting characters, oh sweet Jesus! these guys are awful. For one, every time the obelisk does something, they shoot it. The commander is just your average military drone, who frequently yells "HOLD YOUR FIRE!" while his soldiers merrily shoot whatever moves in front of them. I might have liked the military guys more if they had some personality beyond the paper cutouts you can see in EVERY SCI-FI MOVIE EVER. I didn't like a single character in this movie, I just wanted them all to die. I give this movie a "Bad" just because the obelisk and concept were cool enough to make the horribly obnoxious script seem ok. I felt great personal insult at the presumption I would like this movie, but the insult was mitigated by the fact that the obelisk was friggin cool. |
