(2003)

review by:

11-29-03

Written by: Sean O'Bannon Directed by: Fred Olen Ray Starring: Kari Wuhrer, Brent Huff

A college sorority reunion turns bloody when a killer starts gettin' all crazy... My god...ANOTHER one of these movies which assumes you've never seen a slasher flick in your life. People have sex, one goes off, the other is murdered. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time...waiting to go home. However, once the volume was turned down and we began to probe into the true meaning of the images before us, this film got interesting. It may appear to be just another slasher flick, but close examination of the dialogue, and events (and things not shown) helped us determine the true story behind Final Examination. Apparently, somewhere between now and the year 3023 reptilian aliens land in China and take over with little effort. Assimilating mysterious Chinese technology the "Reptaliens" proceed to conquer the world, killing off almost all the humans. The only survivors are a few male necromancers, who pull through because of their powers and charming personalities. Sensing humanity's trouble just a little too late, another breed of alien lands on earth, taking the shape of stationary pink flamingos. Through mind control they defeat the Reptaliens, and the remaining necromancers rejoice. However, their lives indebted to the "flamingos," the men are immediately enslaved by their saviors. They are forced to wear large wrist watches which explode if they leave their assigned posts. The horrible thing is that the watches are ugly, and of limited styles. The flamingo masters, ever considerate of their slaves, build various types of female androids to have sex with the men randomly, as well as perform other tasks. There are reacting-badly-to-danger-bots, walk-around-with-no-top-on-bots, be-a-bitch-bots, and the ever-popular shower-needlessly-multiple-times-a-day-bots. They're really only known for their sex, though. Except for the occasional receptionist-bots, which have tanks for legs. Other robots consist of the Chinese-looking Sentinels, which check in every little while with "Everything's OK," which they communicate by not moving. Rita The Robot is another machine who commands two others, the ring-ring-bot which alerts her when the phone is ringing, and Arm, which picks up the receiver and lifts it up to Rita. Whew...and that's just the back story. Final Examination is about a string of sex-bot murders. A necromancer detective and a female Reptalien, a traitor who joined the flamingos, investigate the killings in this tropical resort/brothel. They must find the rogue kill-bot before the Chinese Sentinels are called upon, for they will get the kill-bot by destroying everyone and everything in the resort, poking the building until it falls over. It's a race against time, and only by having lots of sex will they get to the bottom of the case. Final Examination, if you don't understand the TRUE meaning and background, is just flaming crap. But if you are in the know, and see what's really going on, it's a great film worthy of many awards. These two extremes come together for an exceptionally mediocre "Ok." I can't wait to see the sequel, Final Examination 2: This Time It's A Retest.

AKA: Banal Extermination

Rating