(2003)

review by:

8-18-03

Written by: Brendan William Hood Directed by: Robert Harmon Starring: Laura Regan, Marc Blucas, Ethan Embry

If you’re going by the original storyline: Basically these crappy-looking CG bugs (who look like a rip from Starship Troopers) from a parallel dimension implant giant splinters within a certain number of kids, mentally scarring them for life and giving them night terrors. Well, many years later, they come back for those they implanted for some unknown reason, kidnap them and imprison them within their world of the dark. If you’re going by the alternated ending on the DVD: Do you really think I’m that mean? To give this away? So little faith you have in me. Anyway, if you decide to see this movie, see the DVD with the alternated ending. It gives a better closure to the whole thing and the movie actually makes sense. That’s all I will say, just trust me on this one. I have to point this out. Wes Craven had absolutely nothing to do with this movie. I bet he never even read the script, he just took some guy’s word for it. He is nowhere in the credits, he didn’t even fund it. And throughout the movie there are so many Wes craven elements, that we originally thought he was ripping off himself, but no. This was a Craven rip-off presented by Craven. This world makes no sense. Don’t think because I say it has Craven elements means it’s good. Oh No! You’ll be sitting there and they will say a line and you have to stop and think, “Wait a second, that exact line was said in Nightmare On Elm Street.” I’m telling you, it’s that bad of a rip-off. It also kinda stole from Darkness Falls. I take that back, it for sure stole from Darkness Falls. A kid’s kissed good-night by his mom, he settles down to go to sleep, when, oh no!, something is moving in the dark. Strange noises occur. Kid gets scarred, grabs flashlight and hides under the covers. My Christ, please someone make it stop. At least Darkness Falls was shot well and I was actually scared. Never once through this whole shit-faced movie did I experience any emotion other than annoyance. Honestly, I didn’t care what the fuck happened. Honumon wanted to turn it off. I must also say something about that whiny bitch with the long neck, Laura Regan. I have seen my share of whiny bitches in horror movies, but this chick definitely ranks up there. I would categorize you as Judith O’Dea (Night of the Living Dead, 1968) wannabe. I give this a horrible because there is no saving grace about it. Like I said, pure annoyance, nothing else. I cannot explain why this was rented out at Blockbuster for 2 months. Seriously, we at Phantom Films tried almost every week, and it was always gone. No explanation whatsoever. Well to sum this up, I do not recommend this to anyone, I don’t care how much of a crush you have on Ethan Embry or how cool you thought he was in Empire Records. This is a bad movie.

Rating



Comments

From: Burnstorm Rating: Horrible I thought it was funny how Honumon kept yelling "Be over! Be over!" at the TV screen for half of the movie. Yeah, I agree with Borg Queen. The movie is horrible. Still better than "Phantasm" though....

From: GG Rating: Horrible This movie sucked a mighty wind indeed.