One of the things that I hear about over and over these days, is the breakdown of the "traditional" family. Most times people are referring to the "nuclear" family. That is the married couple, mother and father, and their children. Many of our societies ills are blamed on this breakdown.

My main problem with this assumption, is that this "traditional" family is actually a relatively new idea. This is the family of the industrial age, when the primary breadwinner was employed at a factory, or at one of the jobs associated with a factory. The industrial age allowed for a family to consist of the breadwinner, a homemaker, and their offspring.

Prior to this time the normal family was by necesity, of a completely different nature. The average home consisted of an extended family. In addition to the "core" family, husband, wife, and their offspring, there were also most often either the husband's or wife's surviving parents. Quite frequently there were also unmarried brothers or sisters. Or perhaps aged aunts or uncles. Even, on occasion, there might be a cousin or two. For hundreds, even thousands of years this was the norm.

To understand this, you must be aware of the conditions of living, and the lifestyle of the world then, and much of the world even today. Most people were dependant on what they themselves could produce in the way of food and household goods. Or, in the larger cities, what they themselves could produce and trade with others for food and household goods. This necessitated a large agricultural comunity. Most farms were run by an individual family, which meant that most families consisted of many children. Because, the more hands you had to work the farm, the more productive you coud become. Now due to the relatively high infant mortality rate and the limited birth control available in that era, it was not uncommon for a couple to have six, seven, or even more children. This combined with the presence of so many other relatives who, if not in the household, lived a short ditance away created a rather large extended family. Especially in comparison to the family of today.

But we now live in an age where people are living longer and healthier lives. Where, at least in the industrialized world, we have brought the infant mortality rate down to almost nothing. We have modern transportation and communication. Families are moving farther and farther apart. Our older generations are more self reliant, and have active lives of thier own to lead. So we have more people available than ever before in our history, yet fewer people participating in the lives of our children.

So as I see it, the breakdown of the family actually started about fifty to sixty years ago. It's not the absent father that is to blame, it's the lack of the extended family that is the cause of the problem. It's the lack of loving and caring people taking part in the daily lives of our children. These people can not be replaced by a series of school teachers, however well meaning they are. They can not be replaced by a faceless agency, regardless of how well they are funded. Our children NEED and DESERVE people in their lives who will be there for life.