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| Dragonslayers and the Holy Energist Cast: Arthur: Folken Servent: Zaibach Guard Mortician: Jajuka Cart-pusher: Mole-Man Man w/dead guy: Dalet Dead guy: Guimel Man with wife: Gatti Wife: Viole(both the man and the wife were played by guys in the movie, so don't worry) Black Knight: Allen Green Knight: Soldier Castle Guards(about the swallows): Gaddes and Kio Monks: Ispano Witch: Naria Townsmen: Surplus Beleveerde: Dilandau Narrator: Dornkirk Launcelot: Migel Gallahad: Gatti Robin: Chesta GOD/Kame-sama: Dornkirk French Guard: Van Frenchmen: Fanelians Famous Historian: Newton-Dornkirk Attacking Knight: Zaibach soldier Historian's Wife: Eriya 3-headed giant: Dilandau, Dryden, Adalphos Minstrel: Guimel Zoot: Millerna Dingo: Eries Women from castle: Naria, Eriya, Hitomi, Celena, Merle Prince: Guimel Father: Adelphos Father's 2 guards: Dilandau and Chesta Old Man fron Scene 24/Bridgekeeper: Dornkirk Cartoon guy: Balgus Knights of Ni: Crusade crew Lead Knight of Ni: Allen Witch: Refina Shrubber: Gaddes Tim the Enchanter: Dryden Killer bunny: Allen's owl Black Beast of AAAAAUUUGHHH: Fanelian Land Dragon Lead Monk: Ispano Chief Cops: Surplus soldiers DRAGONSLAYERS AND THE HOLY ENERGIST Part I (insert &%$# disclaimer here) -GAEA, Somewhere in the 1990's on Mystic moon time. I'm really no so sure but- Folken, Dilandau, Migel, Gatti, Chesta: GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!! Okay, gomenne- *we hear the sounds of marching guymelefs, as it draws closer, we see instead of a guymelef, Folken marching giant-steps while a Zaibach soldier behind him bangs big trashcan lids toghether. They approach a castle similar to the one in Escaflowne episode 3 and stop* Folken: Whoa there! *soldier stops* *two men(Gaddes and Kio peer over the high castle walls* Gaddes/Guard: Who goes there? Folken: It is I, Folken, son of Gou Fanel from the floating fortress of Vione. Commander of the floating fortress, defeater of the rebels, Strategos of ALL Zaibach! Gaddes/Guard: Pull the other one! Folken: I am! And this is my trusty soldier Patsy! We have traveled by guymelef to speak to your lord and master about joining my force at the Vione. Kio/Guard: What?! Ridden in Guymelefs?! Folken: Yes! Gaddes/Guard: YOU'RE USING TRASHCAN LIDS! Folken: I am not! Kio/Guard: YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE BANGIN' 'EM TOGHETHER!!!! Folken: Just tell you master I'm- Gaddes/Guard: And where did you get them? Folken:Get what? Kio/Guard: The trashcan lids! Folken: We found them! Gaddes/Guard: But trashcan lids are only native to the Mystic Moon! Folken: So? Gaddes/Guard: This is a quasi-medieval world! There are no trashcans here for the lids! Folken: So? A pillar of light can get them here! Kio/Guard: Are you saying trashcan lids call up pillars of light?! AN INANIMATE OBJECT CAN NOT CALL UP A PILLAR OF SPIRITUAL ENERGY! Folken: PLEASE. Just tell you master I'm here. Kio/Guard: Of course maybe if an un-laden swallow from the Mystic Moon carried them into the pillars of light.... Gaddes/Guard: 5-ounce birds couldn't carry that.....but maybe..... *Giving up, Folken and Patsy leave, banging trashcan lids again* -Cut to run-down Zaibach village, where mud is considered edible or something...- *Jajuka and Mole-Man enter. Mole-Man is pushing a cart with dead people piled in it, Jajuka is hitting a hand-held gong and saying: Jajuka/Mortician: -GONG!- Bring out your dead! -clang- Bring out your dead! *Dalet walks up carrying Guimel* Dalet/Villager: I got one right here! Guimel/Dead guy: I'm not dead!!!! Jajuka/Mortician: What? Dalet/Villager: Nothing. Nothing. Guimel/Not-dead guy: I'm not dead!!!!!! Jajuka/Mortician: Hey! He said he's not dead! Dalet/Villager: Yes he is! Guimel/Not-dead guy: I am not! Jajuka/Mortician: He's not! Dalet/Villager: He will be. He's ill. Guimel/Not-Dead guy: I'm getting better! Dalet/Villager: No you're not! You'll be stone dead in a minute! Jajuka/Mortician: I can't take him like that! Its against regulations! Guimel/Recovering guy: I don't wanna go in the cart! Dalet/Villager: Oh, don't be such a baby! Jajuka/Mortician: I can't take him! Guimel/Reluctantly doomed guy: I feel fine! Dalet/Villager: Do us a favor. Jajuka/Mortician: I can't. Dalet/Villager: Could you hang around for awhile? He won't last any longer! Jajuka/Mortician: No, the next customers lost 9 today. Dalet/Villager: When's the next round? Jajuka/Mortician: Day after tomorrow. Guimel/Guy who feels fine: I think I'll go for a walk now. Dalet/Villager: You aren't fooling anyone! (to Jajuka) Isn't there SOMETHING you can do? Guimel/Guy who wants to go for walk: I feel happy! I feel hap- *Jajuka whacks him on the head with the gong, killing him* Dalet/Villager: Arigatou. Jajuka/Mortician: No problem. See you later. *gets paid, then Folken passes, Patsy still banging trashcan lids* Whose that? Dalet/Villager: I don't know. Must be a military strategist. Jajuka/Mortician: How do you know? Dalet/Villager: Doesn't have crap all over him. -Cut to field outside outside the village- *Folken approaches a bundled figure pulling a cart* Folken: Old Woman. *"old woman" turns around. its a guy, Gatti* Gatti/Peasant: Man! Folken: Man, sorry. Could you tell me what knight lives in that castle? *points at castle in distance* Gatti/Peasent: I'm 15! Folken: What? Gatti/Peasent: You called me "old" I'm 15! Folken: Well I didn't know you were. Gatti/Peasent: Didn't bother finding out, did you? Folken: I apologized about the "old woman' thing, but from behind you looked like- Gatti/Peasent: What I'm objecting to is how you are treating like an inferior. Folken: Well I am head strategist of Zaibach. Gatti/Peasent: Oh, veeery nice. How'd you get there? Exploit workers? Hanging to(rambles on) Viole/Wife: Hey! there's some lovely filth down here! Oh, who are you? Folken: I am Folken, Strategos of Zaibach. Whose castle is that? *points at castle again* Viole/Wife: Strategos of who? Folken: ZAIBACH! Viole/Wife: Whose Zaibach? Folken: We are. Dornkirk-sama is in charge, I'm his second-in-command. Viole/Wife: Didn't know we had a Chief Strategist. Thought we were autonomus collective! Gatti/Peasent: You're only fooling yourself. We're stuck under a dictatorship, a self-perpetuating autocracy in which-(Gatti and Viole ramble on about social classes and form of government) Folken: Please, tell me who lives in that castle. Viole/Wife: No one lives there. Folken: Then whose your leader? Viole/Wife: Don't have one. Folken: What?! Gatti/Peasent: We're anarcho-syndicalist cummunion. We alternate on being Executive officer for a week. Folken: Yes... Gatti/Peasent: But the decisions of the officer have to ratified in a special bi-weekly meeting. Folken: Yes, I see... Gatti/Peasent: By a simple majority in case of pure internal affairs... Folken: Be quiet! Gatti/Peasent: (rambles on) Folken: Be quiet! I ORDER you to be quiet! Viole/Wife: Order? Who does HE think he is? Folken: I'm Dornkirk's second-in-command! Viole/Wife: I never voted for YOU! Folken: You don't vote for Zaibach leaders! Viole/Wife: Well, then, how'd you get your position? Folken: (heavenly music) I battled a dragon for the Rite of Succession in Fanelia, but failed when the dragon nearly killed me by ripping my arm off, then...it left, and I awoke in Zaibach, Dornkirk appointed me then.(music stops) Gatti/Peasent: Getting your arm torn off by a dragon and an old guy have pity on you is no basis for a system of government. Executing power derives from the mandate of the masses, not some tragedy involving bodily dismemberment. Folken: Be quiet! Gatti/Peasent: You can't expect to get high position in executive power just because a dragon ate your arm and you're brought here! Folken: Shut up! Gatti/Peasent: I mean, if I said I was second in command to an old fart on a power trip just cause some stupid lizard goes and rips off my arm, and then the old fart feels sorry for me, they'd put me in the nuthouse! Folken: Will you shut up! *attacks him* Gatti/Peasent: Now we see VIOLENCE in the system! Folken: SHUT UP! Gatti/Peasent: Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Folken: BLOODY PEON! *still attacking him* Gatti/Peasent: DID YOU HEAR THAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT?! That's what I'm talking about! He's repressing me! *Folken and Patsy leave* Viole/Wife: Wonder how HE got to be Strategos..... -cut to woods- *Folken and Patsy enter and see Allen, the Heavenly Knight is battling another knight, and in a short ammount of time, Allen wins and spears the other knight thru the head, pulls out his sword, wipes it, and goes into guard pose, Folken and Patsy finally approach him* Folken: You fight with the strength of many men, sir knight. ~pause~ Folken: We are looking for the finest and bravest warriors. ~pause~ Folken: You have proven yourself worthy. Will you join? ~pause~ Folken: Very well. You make me sad. So be it. Come, patsy-*about to leave* Allen/Knight: None shall pass. Folken: What? Allen/Knight: None shall pass. Folken: I have no quarrel with you, sir knight, but I must cross this bridge. Allen/Knight: Then, you will die. Folken: I command you, in the name of Emperor Dornkirk! Allen/Knight: I move for no man. Folken: SO BE IT! *pulls out sword and a short fight scene follows, Folken slices Allen's left arm off* Now stand aside worthy adversary. Allen/Knight: Tis but a scratch. Folken: A SCRATCH?! Your arm's off! Allen/Knight: No it isn't. Folken: Well what's that down there? *points to arm, Allen looks at the fallen arm for a second but doesn't look bothered* Allen/Knight: I've had worse! Folken: You lie! Allen/Knight: Come on, you PANSY!(author's note, anyone see the irony of what Allen just said?!) *fight resumes, Folken cuts off Allen's other arm* Folken: Victory is mine. *kneels* I thank thee, Dornkirk-sama that in- *an arm-less Allen kicks him in the face* Allen/Knight: Ha-ha! Come on! Folken: What?! Allen/Knight: *kicks him again* Have at ya! Folken: *groans* You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine! Allen/Knight: Had enough eh? Folken: You stupid basterd, You've got no arms left!!!! Allen/Knight: It's just a flesh-wound! *kicks him again* Folken: Would you stop that?! Allen/Knight: Chicken! buk-aw! *kicks him again* CHICKEN!!!! Folken: Thats it. *cuts off Allen's right leg, Allen hops around on his remaining leg* Allen/Knight: Right! I'll do you for that! Folken: Do what? Allen/Knight: C'mere! *hops at him clumsily, not really doing much* Folken: What are you going to do? Bleed on me? Allen/Knight: The Heavenly knight always triumphs! *hops around in little circle* I'M INVINCIBLE!!!!! Folken: You're a loon! *slices off Allen's remaining leg, leaving only a torso and head* Allen/Knight: All right. We'll call it a draw! Folken: Come, Patsy! *Folken and Patsy(who is banging trashcan lids again) leave* Allen/Knight: Oh, I see! Running away, eh? Come back you yellow-bellied bastards! I'll bite your legs off!!!! -FADE OUT. END OF PART I- <> Dilandau <> Fanstuff <> Site <> Sign <> Contact <> a.s.c.e.n.d |