Dragonslayers and the Holy Energist -book cover- *Book shows the words "The Tale of Sir Migel" written on it* Dornkirk/Narrator: The Tale.... of Sir Migel. ~CUT TO INTERIOR OF CASTLE TOWER~ Adelphos/Father: One day, lad, all this will be yours! Guimel/Prince: The curtains? Adelphos/Father: No, not the curtains, lad. All tthis that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This will be your kingdom lad! Guimel/Prince: But Mother, Adelphos/Father: FATHER, lad. Father Guimel/Prince: But father, I don't want any of that... Adelphos/Father: Listen, lad, I built this kingdom from nothing! When I started here, all this was SWAMP! Other kings said i was a bit daft to build a castle in the swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em! t sank into the swamp. I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. I built a third one. That one got half-destroyed in an explosion, fell over, and THEN sank into the swamp! But the forth one stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: The strongest castle in these islands! Guimel/Prince: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather... Adelphos/Father: Rather what? Guimel/Prince: I'd rather.... *beautiful, angelic music starts as Guimel turns toward a beautifully sunlit window* Just..... sing! Adelphos/Father: Stop that! Stop that! *the music stops abruptly, the sunlight fades* You're NOT going into song while I'm here! Now listen, lad, in twenty minutes you're getting married to a girl whose father owns tracts of Mystic Moon land! Guimel/Prince: But... I don't want land. Adelphos/Father: Listen, Alice- Guimel/Prince: Guimel. Adelphos: Guimel. We live in a bloody swamp! We need all the land we can get! Besides, everyone will be jealous if we can get Mystic Moon land! Guimel/Prince: But... but I don't like her... Adelphos/Father: DON'T LIKE HER?! What's wrong with her?! She's.... beautiful. She's even got a cool guymelef! Guimel: I know, but I want the girl I marry to have... *the beautiful music starts up again as Guimel faces the once-again beautifully sunlit window* to have a... certain.... special.... something! Adelphos/Father: Cut that out! Cut that out! *music stops abruptly, the sunlight fades again* Look, you're marrying Princess Mizuru, so you better get used to the idea! *slaps him and starts to leave* Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him! Chesta/Guard: Not to leave the room, even if you come and get him! Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: No, no. UNTIL I come and get him! Chesta/Guard: Until you come and get him, WE'RE not to enter the room! Adelphos/Father: No, no, no. YOU stay IN the room, and make sure he doesn't leave! Chesta/Guard: And you'll come and get him! Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: Right. Chesta/Guard: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him from entering the room! Adelphos/Father: No, LEAVING the room. Chesta/Guard: Leaving the room, yes. Adelphos/Father: All right? Chesta/Guard: Right! Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: Right! *he starts to leave* Chesta/Guard: *suddenly remembers something* Oh! If-if-if... uh.... if-if... we... eh...if... if... we.... Adelphos/Father: Yes? What is it? Chesta/Guard: Oh! If-if-if.... oh.... Adelphos/Father: Look, it's quite simple, you just stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right? Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: Right! Chesta/Guard: Oh! I remember! Can he leave the room with us? Adelphos/Father: No, no, no. Just keep him in here, and make sure he- Chesta/Guard: Oh, yes, We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him- Adelphos: No no no. Just keep him in here. Chesta/Guard: Until you, or anyone else- Adelphos/Father: Not anyone else. Just me! Chesta/Guard: Just you. Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: Get back. Chesta/Guard: Get back. Adelphos/Father: All right? Chesta/Guard: Right. We'll stay here until you get back. Dilandau: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: And make sure he doesn't leave. Chesta/Guard: The prince? Adelphos/Father: Yes. Make sure he doesn't leave. Chesta/Guard: Oh, yes, of course! Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Chesta/Guard: *points at Dilandau* Oh! I thought you ment him! You know, it seemed a bit daft, having me guard him when he's a guard! Adelphos/Father: Is that clear? Dilandau/Guard: Moreo!!! Chesta/Guard: Quite clear! No problems! Adelphos/Father: Right. *starts to leave, but Chesta and Dilandau follow him* Wait... where are you going? Chesta/Guard: We're coming with you! Adelphos/Father: No, no, no. I want you to STAY here, and make sure he doesn't leave. Chesta/Guard: Oh, I see! Guimel/Prince: But Father! Adelphos/Father: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! *Adelphos leaves. Beautiful, angelic music plays, Guimel sadly faces the beautifully sunlit window, then Adelphos walks back in* Adelphos/Father: AND NO SINGING! *music stops abruptly, the sunlight fades again* Dilandau/Guard: Moreo! *hic!* Adelphos/Father: (to Dilandau) Oh, go get a glass of water! *leaves, slamming the door shut* *Guimel starts writing a note, and ties it to an arrow. Chesta and Dilandau don't really seem to care what he's doing. Guimel aims the crossbow, and fires out the window* ~CUT TO SWAMPY FOREST~ *Migel and a Zaibach soldier carrying all his stuff do giant steps through the pathway* Migel: Well taken, Concord! Concord: Thank you sir, you're most kind! Migel: And again! Over we go! *they hop over a stream* Good! Steady! And now, the big one! *Migel leaps over* Come on, Concord! *Guimel's arrow lands in Condord's chest* Concord: Message for you, sir! *falls dead* Migel: Concord! Concord! Speak to me! *notices the note on the arrow and removes it* "To whomever finds this note: I have.... been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to marry against my will. Please please please come and rescue me! I am in the Tall Tower of Swamp Castle!" At last! A call! A cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Energist! Brave, brave Concord, you will not have died in vain! Concord: *wakes up* I'm.. I'm not quite dead, sir. Migel: Well, you will not have been mortally wounded in vain! Concord: I.. I... I think I can pull through, sir. Migel: Oh, I see. Concord: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you, sir! Migel: No, no, sweet Concord! Stay here! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular..... um.... Concord: Idiom, sir? Migel: Idiom! Concord: No, I feel fine, sir Migel: (ignoring him) Farewell, sweet Concord! *runs off* Concord: I'll.... um..... I'll just.... stay here, then, shall I, sir? ~CUT TO CASTLE~ *Weddings guests are greeted, wedding being set up, Princess Mizuru is getting ready, blablabla* Guard: *sees something* ~CUT TO FIELD~ *Migel is seen running up a hill towards the castle* ~CUT TO CASTLE~ Guard: *sees Migel Coming* ~CUT TO FIELD~ *Exact repeat of seeing Migel running up the hill again towards the castle* ~CUT TO CASTLE~ Guard: *still sees Migel coming~ ~CUT TO FIELD~ *Once again, the exact same scene as before with Migel running up that hill again towards the castle* ~CUT TO CASTLE~ Guard: Hey! Migel: *jumps into action, "Machine Soldier" plays as Migel tears into the castle and starts killing guests left and right, and destroying a few decorations for good measure. He attacks a group of little girls dancing in a circle and kills a few of them. The remianing ones don't seem to care and just keep dancing. Migel finally makes his way towards the stairs, killing guards, guests, and the like along with way* ~CUT TO GIRLS ROOM~ Mizuru&Girls: *giggling* *Suddenly, Migel barges in and kills everyone in sight in a bloody massacre, and makes his way towards the stairs leading to the tower. He finally reaches the door, and the two guards see him, the music stops* Chesta/Guard: Hey! You're not allowed to enter the room! *Migel kills them both and bows before Guimel, who has his back turned* Migel: Oh, fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Migel of Vione. I've come to take y- *Guimel turns* Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Guimel/Prince: You got my note! Migel: Well, I... uh... I got a note... Guimel/Prince: You came to rescue me! Migel: Well, no, you see, I hadn't... Guimel/Prince: I knew someone would! I knew that somewhere, out there..... *beautiful, angelic music starts again, Guimel faces the beautiful, sunlit window, then Adelphos enters the room* Adelphos/Father: Stop that! Stop that! *music stops abruptly, sunlight fades again* Who are you? Guimel/Prince: I'm your son! Adelphos/Father: No, not you. Migel: Ummm, I am Sir Migel, sir. Guimel: He's come to rescue me! Migel: (to Guimel) Well, let's not jump to conclusions. Adelphos/Father: Did you kill all those guards? Migel: Oh, yes. Sorry! Adelphos/Father: They cost fifty each! Migel: Well, I'm terribly sorry. Um, I really can explain everything. *Guimel finishes tying his bedsheets into a rope and ties one end to his bed post* Guimel/Prince: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Migel! I got a rope all ready! Adelphos/Father: (to Migel) You killed eight wedding guests in all! Migel: Well, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady. Adelphos/Father: Well, I can understand that. *Guimel is climbing out the window on the rope* Guimel/Prince: Hurry, Sir Migel! Hurry! Adelphos/Father: (to Guimel) Shut up! (to Migel) You only killed the bride's father that's all! Migel: Well, I really didn't mean to.... Adelphos/Father: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head! Migel: Oh, dear! Is he all right? Adelphos/Father: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is gonna cost me a fortune! Migel: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, riding north from Vione, when I got this note, you see... Adelphos/Father: Vione? Are you from the Floating Fortress Vione? Guimel/Prince: *still on rope* Hurry, Sir Migel! Migel: (to Adelphos) I am a soldier of Folken, sir. Adelphos/Father: Very nice fortress, Vione is. Uh.... very good pig fortress. Migel: Is it? Guimel/Prince: *still on rope* Hurry! I'm ready! Adelphos/Father: Would you, uh, like to come down and have a drink? Migel: Well, that's awfully nice of you. Guimel/Prince: *still on rope* I am ready! *Adelphos goes over and cuts the rope, causing Guimel to fall* Migel: I mean to be understanding, but I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a but... uh... carried away. Must come from hanging around Dilandau. Adelphos/Father: Oh, don't worry about that. *sound of Guimel hitting the ground is heard* ~CUT TO DOWNSTAIRS~ *Adelphos leads Migel downstairs, showing him around* Adelphos/Father: Well, this is the main hall. We're going to have all this knocked through and made into one big living room. Guest: (notices Migel) THERE HE IS!!! Adelphos/Father: Oh, bloody hell. *"Machine Soldier" starts up again and Migel begins killing everyone who comes up the stairs towards him* Adelphos/Father: Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it, please!!! *music stops, Migel calms down* Migel: Sorry. Sorry. See what I mean? I just get carried away. I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry, everyone! Guest: He's killed the Best Man! Guests: Yeah! Adelphos/Father: Hold it! Please! Hold it! This is Sir Migel, from the court of Vione! A very brave and influential soldier, and my special guest here today. Migel: *waves* Hello! Guest: He killed my auntie! Adelphos/Father: Please! Please! THis is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and whine about who killed who! We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of the holy wedlock. Unfortunatly, one of them, my son Guimel, has just falled to his death. Guests: Oh, no! Adelphos/Father: But I don't want to think I've lost a son, so much as "gained a daughter"! *guests applaud* For, since the tragic death of her father- Guest: *lifting up Mizuru's father, who isn't dead* He's not quite dead! Adelphos/Father: Since the near-fatal wounding of her father- Guest: He's getting better! Adelphos/Father: For, since her own father, who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of Death upon him! Mizuru's father: ughh.... *dies* Guest: Oh! He died! Adelphos/Father: And I want his only daughter to look upon me as her own dad, in a very real and legally binding sense! *guests applaud* And I feel that the merger... er... union between the Princess and the brave, but dangerous Sir Migel of Vione- Migel: What? *Guimel and Concord walk in* Guest: Look! the dead prince! Guests: The dead prince! Concord: He's not quite dead! Guimel/Prince: No, I feel much better! Adelphos/Father: You fell out of the tall tower, you creep! Guimel: No, I was saved at the last minute! Adelphos/Father: How? Guimel/Prince: Well, I'll tell you! *happy, catchy music begins to play* Adelphos/Father: No! Not like that! No! Stop it! Guests: (singing) He's going to tell! He's going to tell! Adelphos/Father: Shut up! *dead guests get back up and join in* Guests: (singing)He's going to tell! He's going to tell! Adelphos/Father: Shut up! Guests: He's going to tell! He's going to tell! He's going to tell! Concord: (to Migel) Quickly, sir! Come this way! *guests are still singing "He's going to tell"* Migel: No! It's not right for my idiom! Guests: (singing) He's going to tell about his great escape! Migel: *grabs a curtain from the ceiling* I must escape more.... more.... *sighs in frustration* Guests: Oh, he fell a long, long way! Concord: Dramatically, sir? Migel: Yes! Dramatically! *swings down* Guests: (singing)But he's here with us today! *Migel crashes into a wall, and slowly swings back and forth helplessly above the crowd* Guests: (singing) What a won-der-ful escaaaaaaaaaaaape! Migel: (still swinging back and forth) Um... Excuse me... Could someone please give me a push? ~CUT TO FOREST~ *Zaibach soldiers put a sheet over the dead Isaac Newton* ~CUT TO VILLAGE FROM FIRST PART~ *Folken and Dilandau make giant steps toward Refina, who is slamming Merle against a post repearedly like a pillow* Merle: Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Folken: Pretty lady! *Refina finishes slamming Merle aginst the post* Is there anywhere in this town that we can buy a vanity set? *dramatic chord plays* Refina: Who sent you? Folken: The Asturians Who Say "Ni". Refina: Arrhgh! No! Never! We have no vanity sets here! Folken: If you do not tell us where we can buy a vanity set, my friend and I will say.... we will say  "Ni"! Refina: Aggh! Do your worst! Folken: Very well. If you will not assist us voluntarily.... Ni! Refina: No! Never! No vanity sets! Folken: Ni! Refina: *holds her stomach in pain* Dilandau: Nu! Folken: No, no, no. it's- Dilandau: Nu! Folken: No, no. It's "Ni". You're not doing it properly! Dilandau: Ni! Folken&Dilandau: Ni! Folken: There. Now you have it. Folken&Dilandau: Ni! Refina: Ooh! Folken: Ni! Dilandau: Ni! Folken: Ni! Refina: Aaaagh!!! Dilandau: Ni! Folken: Ni! Gaddes: (on a cart)Are you daying "Ni" to that teenaged girl? Folken: Umm.... yes. Gaddes: Oh, what sad times are these when passing weirdos can say "Ni" at will to pretty young girls.. There is a pestilance upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design vanity sets are under considerable economic stress at this time. Dilandau: Did you say vanity sets? Gaddes: Yes. Vanity sets are my trade and I am vanity salesman. My name is "Gaddes the Vainer". I arrange, design, paint, and sell vanity sets. Dilandau: Ni! Folken: (to Dilandau) No, no, no. ~CUT TO FOREST~ *Folken and Dilandau stand before the Asturians Who Say "Ni", with a big, flashy pink vanity set* Folken: Oh, Asturians of Ni, we have brought you your vanity set. May we go now? Allen: It is a good vanity set. I like the big mirror particularly, but there is one small problem. Folken: What is that? Allen: We are now, no longer the Asturians Who Say "Ni". Kio: Ni! Ort: Shh! Allen: We are now the Asturians Who Say "Ekki-ekki-ekki-pikang-whoop-boing-goodem-zoom-owlee-ziv"! Pyle: Ni! Allen: Therefore, we must give you a test! Folken: What is this test, Oh, Asturians of.... Asturians who till recently said "Ni"? Allen: First, you must find..... another vanity set! *dramatic chord plays again* Folken: Not another vanity set! Teo: Ni! Allen: Then when you have found the vanity set, place it here beside this one so I can use two of them at the same time, and have a little path running to them. Asturians: A path! A path! A path! Allen: Then, when you have found the vanity set, you must cut down the mightyest tree in the forest.... wiiiiiiiith.... A HERRING! *dramatic chord plays again* Folken: We shall do no such thing! Allen: Oh, please! Folken: Chop down a tree with a herring? it can't be done! Asturians: *covering their ears* AAAAAAGH! AAAAAGH!!! Allen: AAAAAAAAGGHH OH! Don't say the word! Folken: What word? Allen: I canno tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Asturians of Ni cannot hear! Folken: How can we say the word if we don't know what it is? Asturians: AAAAAAAAGGHH!!! Allen: You said it again! Folken: What, "is"? Allen: Not "is" You won't get very far in life not saying "is"! Asturians: Not "is"! Not "is"! *Chesta enters, followed by his minstrals* Dilandau: Strategos! It's Sir Chesta! Guimel/Minstrel: (singing) He's packing it in and packing it up. And sneaking away and buggering up! And chickening out and pissing off home, Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge! Folken: Sir Chesta! Chesta: Lord Folken! It's good to see you! *Asturians hold their heads screaming* Allen: He said the word! Folken: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Energist? Guimel/Minstrel: (singing) He's sneaking away and buggering up... Chesta: (to Guimel) Shut up! No, no. Far from it. Asturians: AAAAAAAAAAGH! Chesta: I was looking for it.... Asturians: AAAAAAAAAAGH! Chesta: Uh... here in this forest. Folken: No, it is far from this place. Asturians: AAAAAAAAAAGH! Allen: Stop saying the word! Folken: Oh, stop it! Asturians: AAAAAAAAAAGH! Allen: We cannot hear! Ow! He said it again! Folken: Patsy! Allen: Wait! I said it! I said it! *Folken, Dilandau, Chesta, and the others do giant steps away, leaving the Asturians of Ni behind* Allen: Ooh! I said it again! And there again! That's three its! -FADE OUT- <> Dilandau <> Fanstuff <> Site <> Sign <> Contact <> a.s.c.e.n.d