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Gasgas na yan, pare! : Pick up at Turn Down Lines

H'wag na lang kaya
Hari ng katorpehan
H'wag, h'wag na lang kaya
'Di ka ba nagsasawa sa liwanag ng buwan...

'Yan ay galing sa kantang TORPE ng Hungry Young Poets. (for complete lyrics click here) Naiintriga ka 'nh?? Wahahaha! Cge, sisimulan ko na.

Isang madaling araw na nagpapakabangag na naman ako sa internet, nakita ko ang site ni ien. Merong part na pick-up at turn down lines. Natuwa naman ang corny kong sarili. Kaya ngayon, gusto ko rin silang i-share sa inyong lahat. This was taken directly from her site kaya sya yun nagsasalita dyan. Ako lang un sumisingit na kulay violet.ü

At kung gusto nyo ng advice (galing syempre sa isang napakagandang babaeng mapagkakatiwalaan) - para sa eprot guys, and gals na nagamitan na at magagamitan pa ng pick-up lines in the future, meron sa pinakababa ng page na ito.

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Pick Up Lines
Dahil kailangan mong mag-damubs...

(O ayan..This page is dedicated to all eprot like me...hehehehe. Of course, totoo yun. Bwehe. Basta gamitin ng mabuti. Remember: Practice makes perfect! )

  1. Maganda ka. Pogi ako. Tayo na! (say it with conviction)
  2. Wag ka ngang ngumiti. Nai-inlab lang ako sayo eh.
  3. Pahiram notes. (dapat nagno-notes talaga yung tao)
  4. Nagpapa-cute ka ba? Ume-epek kase eh.
  5. Shit! Umuulan!! Wala akong payong.
  6. Di ba classmate kita sa Physics 72.1? (kaso hindi 'to umepek sa aken)
    -->or.. "are you from [name of a school here]?" (nagamitan na 'ko nito eh.. at ayon sa isang episode ng talktv, ito daw ang pinaka-epektib!)
  7. Bakit ngayon ka lang?
  8. Nag-lunch ka na ba? Sabay tayo!
  9. Napanood mo na ba yung Red Diaries? Wala kase akong kasama eh. (T.O. 'to...pramis!)
  10. May groupmate ka na ba?
  11. C.R. tayo? (ewan ko pano 'to makaka-pick up)
  12. Excuse me, what's the time? (sabay hawak sa wrist...ala-Craig David)
    -->ingat nga lang! baka pagkamalan kang magnanakaw at sumigaw-sigaw pa un girl.. dyahe yun!
  13. May nakaupo ba dyan? Patabi naman.
  14. Pwede ka ba? (pang pokpok!)
  15. Pauwi ka na ba? Pasabay naman. (mas ok 'to kung may tsekots)
  16. Apply ka na. Masaya sa org namen. (style ng mga taga-ABM... peace tayo!)
  17. Tumambay ka naman, gago!
  18. Talaga, wala ka pang boyfriend?
  19. Inday, paki linis naman ng kwarto ko mamyang gabi. (kung type mo atchay nyo)
  20. Should we talk now or should we just keep staring at each other?
  21. I don't usually do this (approaching strangers), but i'd rather take the risk than to live the rest of my life wondering what if...
  22. Syet! Ang ganda mo!!
    -->o, talaga? *blush* thank you ah! flattered ako.
  23. 24. Would you like me to buy you some kwek-kwek?
    -->nu un?!
  24. Excuse me miss. Pwede ba kitang mayayang mag-Quickly?
  25. Ayaw mo? Eh, kung canton na lang?
  26. Miss, bukas zipper mo.
  27. I like you...pramis!
  28. Mahal kita. (enough said!)
  29. Sex tayo?! (eto classic!!!)
    -->warning: gamitin lang kung gustong masampal.

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Turn Down Lines
Dahil nag-damubs ka kase...

(Eto naman ang mga nakukuhang sagot ng mga taong hindi nag-practice sa kanilang pick-up lines. Yung iba may pagka-harsh. Pero what can i say, that's life!! I got some of these lines myself. Ok lang, buhay pa naman ako. )

  1. It's not you. It's me. (gasgas na 'to)
  2. We're better off as friends. (isa pa 'to!)
  3. Get lost!
  4. Priority ko kase studies ko. (sagot ng mga nerd, di ba Abet?)
    -->sinong abet?
  5. Strict ang parents ko.
  6. Lalake talaga ako. (patay tayo dyan...)
  7. You're not my type.
  8. Hindi tayo soulmates. (as if)
  9. Tumatalsik kase laway mo.
    -->eeew! kadiri ah..
  10. May boyfriend na kase ako.
  11. Eh kase bata pa ako.
  12. Eh kase bata ka pa.
  13. Sampalin kaya kita. (tsk, tsk...baka kase kung anu-anong sinabi mo)
  14. Kapal ng mukha mo. (sabay sampal...pero hindi pa ren nya feel kase makapal mukha nya)
  15. Kapatid lang turing ko sayo.
  16. I've decided to take my vows.
  17. Homophobic ka ba?
  18. *No Reaction*
  19. Panget ka eh! (eto matindi!)
  20. Sorry wala kang boobs eh.
    -->huh?! aaah.. lalaki siguro ang magtuturn down.
  21. I'm married. (awwwww!)
  22. Umuwi ka na lang.
  23. Bwahahaha! Hindi nga?
    -->uy, nagamit ko na 'to.. sorry sa mga na-hurt! no offense po!
  24. You don't deserve someone like me.
  25. Sana ikaw na lang si Aga Mulach.
    -->AMEN!
  26. Ay, akala ko bading ka.
  27. Wala ka kaseng kotse. (scrub!)
  28. Pag nakikita kita, naaalala ko si Ma'am Ramos. (private arki joke...actually, it's not private anymore)
    -->ah, private joke pala. 'kala ko un mrs. ni former president ramos eh!
  29. Lamo, you're like my ex-BF. Di nga nag-work relationship namen eh. Siguro tayo hindi ren.
  30. Baduy pick-up line mo...pramis!
    -->di nga.. promise tlaga!
  31. Ha? Ano, hindi kita marinig...
  32. Naka-inom ka ba? Itulog mo na lang yan.
  33. May aso na ako eh.
  34. *No Reaction. Sabay kulangot.*
    -->yak.. totoo 'ba 'to?!
  35. *Turns her head, looks around* Uh, ako ba kausap mo?
  36. Ewan.
  37. Wala naman kailangang magbago, di ba?
  38. Ano'ng pakialam ko sayo?
  39. Buti naman may tatay na anak ko... (disgrasya!)
    -->Bwahahaha! yan.. pa-damubs damubs pa kse eh.
  40. Really? Thank you. (yun lang. after that walang nangyari sa inyo)
    -->at least nag-thank you sya!

So, yun! Sana naamuse kayo.. ngayon, advise, advise. Hmm.. okay.

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For guys na balak gamitin 'tong mga pick-up lines na ito:

  • SAY IT WITH CONFIDENCE. Ayaw ng mga babae ang torpe at parang walang bilib sa sarili. Kaya you should learn to say the line with confidence. Basta 'wag lang maging sobrang confident kasi mahangin na ang labas mo nun. Tingnan mo rin muna kung pangit. Try mo sabihin sa harap ng mirror..mamaya pati ikaw mabaduyan sa sarili mo! And be sure to brush your teeth. Kahit anong brand ng toothpaste - Colgate, Close-up, Hapee, watever. Basta 'yung magbibigay sa'yo ng fresh breath and confidence all day long.

  • PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. Pag nakaporma and naka-tooth brush ka na.. 'wag ka namang magdamubs kaagad! Tama 'yun nakalagay sa taas.. magpraktis ka muna! Kasi mamaya, pick-up line na nga lang, magkamali ka pa. O makalimutan mo yung sasabihin mo. Super turn-off yun! So, practice! 'Wag ka titigil hanggang memorized na memorized mo na. Kung tingin mo perfect mo na, mag-try ka muna sa isang kaibigan. (preferably a girl.. pero kung wala kang mahanap, pwede na rin siguro sa kabarkada mo.) Tapos ask mo s'ya kung ok na ba. Kung feel n'yong dalawa na pwedeng-pwede na, e di ready ka na! Dyan ka palang magstastart mag-"damubs". Good luck!

  • PERO KUNG TALAGANG MAHAL MO SYA.. iba na yan! Kung umiikot na tlaga ang buong mundo mo sa kanya at tingin mo, s'ya lang ang babae para sa'yo.. naku! Sira ka pala eh. 'Wag mo s'yang bigyan ng pick-up line, nh! Kasi, to tell you the truth, magiging cheap ang labas mo n'yan..! Baka masampal ka pa! Kung natotorete at natotorpe ka everytime nandyan sya at 'di mo sya makausap ng matino, 'wag ka nalang magsalita. Mas OK na magmukhang torpe kaysa magmukhang cheap o corny. PRAMIS!
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For gals naman (like me!) na 'di alam ang gagawin kung mabigyan ng pick-up line:
Hay, ang hirap talagang maging maganda nh?? *apir* Anyway, kahapon lang, for the first time, merong complete stranger who asked me for my number.. and actually used the pick-up line #6! And to think i wasn't even in a club or a bar! In fact, i was at a mall.. (By the way, whoever you are - i'm keeping his name a secret for his sake, if you're reading this, hi! no offense, k? e-mail me.ü)

The incident got me to thinking 'bout appropriate reactions and answers to these kinds of situations. Stuff we can do that will totally surprise him and make US reign in glory. Here goes.

**If you have more ideas and suggestions, be sure to drop a line or two at the guestbook for article comments**

  • DON'T ACT SURPRISED. Kasi if we don't act surprised, feel ko, feel nila, strangers (maybe even cute ones!) approach us ALL the time. (and who says they don't?!) This might knock them to their senses and make them realize just how nakaka-turn off they are being. So, just smile, act natural, be beautiful, extra-charming, and get ready to pounce - erhm, i mean, take him under your spell.

  • BE READY WITH A COMEBACK. When the guy dropped me the line "Are you from UP? You look familiar kasi eh.", i told him a straight 'no'. Now, i regret what i said. It would have been totally better, and fun (for me), if i answered something like: "Yes, i am! You look familiar, too! You're the guy who [supply a really embarassing moment here], right?" That would have totally surprised him, and make me laugh as well. Pero sayang, 'di ko nasabi 'yun eh. Hmm.. next time siguro! Hehe. Or maybe YOU can try it and tell me what happened next. Another is if someone tells you, "Shit! Ang ganda mo." You can act totally unaffected and say, "Ah. 'Lam ko 'un. Dati pa!" Okay, so this might not really do anything. I, personally, would just like saying it. So, there. Think of comebacks. Be like, Lorelai or Rory in that really cool show, 'Gilmore Girls'. It just takes a little wit. And surely, you'll be hearing a fellow lady friend cheer, YOU GO, GIRL! :)

  • KUNG DI MO NA TALAGA KAYA...and super annoyed ka na with guys (who feel they're so great and macho) and their stupid pick-up lines, isa lang ang sagot dyan: sampalin mo sya! (in english: slap him in the face, hard. or in conio term: make him sampal-sampal!) You think it would bug you're conscience? Don't let it. Trust me. It's the best thing to do. This way, you would totally teach him a lesson, and he would think twice before disrespecting any girl in the future. Look at it as community service to all the women in the world. You would also be getting some great exercise for your hands, fingers and arms. And if you're really really really good [in taking him under your spell], they won't even be mad at you after you do it! ['Cause it shows you can stand up for yourself.] Some may even fall in love with you even more.. and they won't ever dare mess with you again.
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Again, i say, mahirap talagang maging maganda! Pero, i guess i should also say na mahirap din maging gwapo.. mamaya kasi sabihin nila sobra na 'kong feminist and tinataboy ko na ang opposite sex. Don't get me wrong, there ARE guys that i like. (just see the *drool* gallery) Especially cute ones. So, fellow gurls, if a cute guy does happen to ask for your number, forget all about everything i said up there ^^. That only applies to guys na 'di mo type. If he looks cute naman, or at least decent, for heaven's sake, DO give him your number. After all, onte nalang ang cute sa mundo. Mahirap na silang hanapin! Kaya kung meron kang nakita, 'wag nang pakipot! Give him your number, feel lucky, thank God for the blessing, and start bragging to all your friends. and ENEMIES even. =)

That's it, folks! If you belong to that small percentage of happy people who have already met their 'soulmates', then good for you! ü To all the other guys and gals out there, good luck nalang sa love life. Let me leave you with another verse of torpe..

Bilisan mo na ngayon
Kasi tumatakbo ang tren
Bilisan mo na ngayon
Iiwanan ka, iiwanan ka...

((O, aminin mo nang naiintriga ka sa kanta!))

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