My longing to scream is huge. Trust me, I feel like a time bomb just bursting to explode. I want to do bad things. Reminds me of that guy, whatshisname, who crashed into the twin towers of the World Trade Center last September 11, 2001. I was on my trip to the Big Apple just this summer, we went on a road trip from New Jersey, where our plane landed because my dad's bestfriend lives there. We went to the WTC, "Ground Zero". It's nothing now. I emphasize "nothing". It used to be one of the most important buildings in the whole world; it was up there with the White House and whoknowswhatelse. It transformed from the king of the buildings to nothing but cement crap. Honestly, what anger can do is just beyond words and imagination. For him, he made the world economy go crazy; for me, its even out there, I might actually be able to write a decent paragraph.

Mr. Whatshisname's source of anger--a bunch of issues with the United States of America. My source of anger--a bunch of issues with my parents.

I'm exaggerating it a bit. It's not a bunch of issues, its just one major issue.

I was in the same room as my mother, our office room or whatever you'd like to call it, feel free. Anyways, back to my topic. I reminded her about my trip with my friends for tomorrow, it's a very important trip, we were going to watch a movie, chill, and have a major bonding fest. She turned around, and with an irritated voice, she said, "We're letting you go out just because you were away for the whole summer, don't even think of going out this often once school starts again." Those words pulled something in me, something inside me started to boil, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I just wanted to let something out because it was already TOOMUCH. Even my perfectly reasonable plea of, "At least twice a month" transformed into "cement crap". My mother threw it right into the trash can. Not even thinking, not even for a second. "Life is unfair"...whoever made that quote, wherever you are, amen to that. I'm going to make some changes though, take off the 'life' and put 'my mom' in its place. "My mom is unfair" -- now that sounds more like it.

What's wrong with going out twice a month? I don't see anything wrong with it. To me, its actually very very limited. I'm going to have to stay home and be a loner. Come to think of it, if I get too used to it, I might start becoming a hermit. My parents always tell me, you should have good relationships with people because you're the only one in this world, no siblings, nothing. I suddenly thought of a good argument, how the heck am I going to mantain those relationships if I dont get to go out? Seriously, how?

I recall one chapter in my book, the bestseller, "Janice's Twisted Life", I was a freshman. I went out almost every week, with a chaperone of course. My parents are so protective, you wouldnt even understand. I dont go anywhere without our driver, or our maid. If I have to live with that, OK, fine, I'll work things out. Not allowing me to go out twice a month? That's torture. As I grow up, my privileges of bonding sessions with my friends is lessening. Is that crazy, or what? If you ask me, the closer I get to menopausal stage, the more freedom I should get. We already had a very frustrating meeting about this once; my parents seated across from each other, and me in between them, no one sat across me. I should've hired a lawyer. Their argument? Girls dont go out. They stay at home. No decent guy will want a girl who goes out. What the heck of an argument is that? Dont they want to send me all the way to Canada? They should see North American kids, with their loud and outgoing personalities, and their independent minds. They should definitely see that. How will they expect me to go to Canada, and win over all these strong-willed Canadians while I was raised as a teen to stay at home like some old Chinese woman. That's absurd.

I'm not heated up now. I might be back though, I probably will. Mom said, "We'll have a talk about this with your dad next time." I am SO looking forward to that. I remember, someone once told me, "Liars go to hell."