My
Almost-Twelve-Year Old, Baby Brother
I
thought I'd never let any one hurt you,
My baby brother; half mum, half dad,
Similar to me and Ben, more so to Sam,
Six feet under,
As you have been for almost twelve years.
I
wish I met you on that day,
You know, the one day you had on this Earth.
Those four hours, precious hours, you spent on this earth
Born at half three, died at half seven
Whilst I slept peacefully.
I can't think if I dreamed, but I remember
Looking forward to meeting my family's new arrivals.
I remembering holding my mummy's hand during that scan,
I was near you then.
When
I woke up that spring morning
I screamed at Auntie Penny because I wanted mummy,not her.
Little did I realise of what was going on in Liverpool.
Sorry, I was pretty selfish, I still am now.
I
wish I met you on that day,
Or any day would be fine.
What I would give to spend one hour with you,
One hour to me, a quarter of a life to you.
I'm
really sorry.
It took me almost twelve years to realise but
I really miss you. Recently I've found myself thinking about
How my life would be with you in my family.
Going to your grave used to be a chore but
You have no idea how much I want to be near you right now.
When we moved from your resting place , I felt
Guilt. How could I leave you,
My baby brother , my ten -year old baby brother?
Ore
is that really where you rest?
When I try to look through the concealing, grey, concrete slab
Am I right to imagine looking at your peaceful corpse or
The remains of a new-born butchered body,
Courtesy of the people who tried to give you
The short life that you had?
I can't rest until I know you are resting but
How do I know if they speak the truth?
The gift of life is frail and precious.
So many people take it for granted but
Only when I think of you do I realise how
Everything's over in an instant.
Here today, gone tomorrow to some,
Here then, gone now to you.
I hope there is life after death because
You never had the chance to bloom here, only to bud.
Rainclouds
surround your life.
What would you be like? What would you be like?
Maybe my questions will be answered one day.
Until then, I'll fight
For the truth,
For my family,
For what we could have had ,
For you, my almost twelve-year-old baby brother.
Amy Ellison
Aged 15
10th March 2001
![Link to Alan Milburn's [Secretary of State for Health] Speech to the House of Commons [UK Government] on the 30th of January 2001](../images/report2.gif)
