A Battle Royal III

A simple battle this one, my third in this newly revealed league of champions. Ded, an aged Warrior from Ankh-Morpork. A brawler I expect. All men from Ankh-Morpork are brawlers, no matter what they say. I sat for a while on a rock in the Gloomy Forest. My weapons were in need of repair after my last fight. This would be my third fight in eight days. I was feeling fatigued to say the least.

I took a deep breath in as I relaxed under the autumn light. Soon I would have to fight this Ded. He has a store of some sort in Ankh-Morpork. He'll no doubt have some interesting weapons with him. Ahh, to relax my bones under this shining star, an oddly moving star, but shining nonetheless.

I took out my oilstone and began to sharpen one of my daggers; the fight against Avatar and his Gappic armour had blunted their edge somewhat. It was then I heard sounds of hooves in the distance. I sheathed the dagger in my boots, jumped up to a tree branch, swung around and landed crouching. A rider dismounted some twenty paces away and started calling.

"Master Cold?!" he shouted. "Master Cold are you here? I bring news from Ded of Ankh-Morpork!"

By the time he had finished shouting, I had crept through the trees and dropped down behind him without a sound.

"Yes boy" I whispered in his ear. He yelped, leapt a full two lengths of a man and tripped over a tree root! 

"Master Cold! I didn't see you of course!"

"Of course child, I am adept in the arts of not being seen, you know."

"Yes Master, sorry. I am here with a message from my Lord Ded".

"Yes, I heard you the first time. What news child? Has he decided on a date? And why do you call me Master so?"

"Forgive me Master. I am Johan, a servant to my Lord Ded. He has sent me to be your guide to the fight location this very evening."

"My guide? Interesting. Where is this location?"

"Ohulan Cutash Master, the very market you defeated Master Commando in.".

"Hmm. Again, interesting. He wishes to defeat me in a place I so obviously like.". I pondered a moment. "Excellent, you may depart now, I will make my own way there."

"But Master, Lord Ded has ordered me to accompany yo..." he pleaded.

"Your orders have changed young squire. Be gone."

"But my Master, he is my Lord...if if I defy him..."

"Johan, your Lord is far away. I am right here." I could see the sweat beginning to glisten on his forehead as he thought quickly. "How old are you young one?"

"16, my Master." he mumbled. "But strong for my age! I wish to be a Lord like my Lord Ded someday!" he shouted excitedly.

"Hmm yes. Aristocracy brings three things with it. Money, power and Assassins. I have all three without the burden of other aristocrats. I advise you to think carefully." I warned him. "I will make an allowance in respect to your Lord Ded. You may walk along the trail, I will be close by. Go now."

"Thank you Master! Right away!" he yelped, jumped on his horse which then began slowly trotting along the trail". I decided not to follow him. I am old, and travelling brings many aches; and I do have many aches, I thought.

I climbed back up a nearby tree, removed a slab of wood from the trunk of a extremely old oak tree, which grumbled somewhat at the intrusion, and pulled out a small bag. I lowered myself to the floor and examined the contents. Selecting the correct ring and a scroll. I began chanting the spell, Jogloran's Portal of Cheaper Travel. Within a minute I had cast a complex spell, which would open a gate to Ohulan Cutash. I opened the door, keeping distance from the beings crawling over the green smell and stepped through.

Instantly, as soon as I exited the doorway, I slipped into a secluded alleyway. I began a mental inventory scan as I tucked the portal components away for later use. My thief's daggers, the much feared Retribution. Poison phials. My blue mace I left in my secret hiding spot in Gloomy Forest, I had no need to use rituals on a Warrior.

I slipped onto the roof of a nearby Inn; from there I scanned the marketplace. There was Ded; his guard were slowly patrolling the marketplace. A priestess was standing close by. My wife. She had come to witness another fight. How did she know, I wondered. Must be psychic, I thought and chuckled to myself.

A faint whinnying alerted me and I dropped quickly to a shadow on the floor. I could see Johan trotting down the road. I slipped into a shop, stole some regional clothing and slipped myself into it. Confident in my disguise I stepped out into the market, my intent to greet Ded in person before the fight.

"Greetings, Lord Ded." I whispered as I stopped next to him.

"Waugh! Guards! Guards!" he screamed as he drew his weapon instinctively. I smiled as he motioned to his guards to lower their weapons as he calmed down. "Goodness Master Cold, I didn't think you could pass my guards".

"Heh heh, I suggest you get new guards". I whispered as I slipped off the disguise to reveal my typical clothing. All in black, black sheaf boots, black silken trousers made from the silk of the spiders in the Gloomy Forest, and some light armour. I had also invested time in acquiring some Gappic clothing. There was the usual scabbards of backup weapons, the blowpipe cover and assorted pouches, all containing tools of my trade.

"Well, now we are all here. I suggest we begin?!" He shouted haughtily.

I nodded and smiled at Johan as I walked to the opposing end of the market. Johan just stared at me. Obviously wondering how I travelled here quicker than his horse could trot. Much to learn that boy has, I thought to myself.

Humming silently, I began a small meditation ritual to focus myself. All around me was the chaos of the market. In the centre, my opponent. A Warrior of honest reputation. Known to have high stamina when it came to slogging it out. I stood carefully, placing my feet for my first movement and nodded at Ded.

My silent signal received, he charged towards me! I ran towards him and jumped aside at the last second, rolling into a torch stall. I hide there for several seconds peeking out the gaps in the stall. I could see he was wielding two famous weapons. Quadrantid and Perseid, two feared gigantic clubs normally only used by the giants of the peaks in the Ramtop Mountains.

Those were my first objective. To relieve him of them. I was no match in a straight fight for him; I would have to remain hidden until the time was right. I slipped out of the stall and slithered through the crowd towards him. I had donned another disguise in the stall. As I ripped the club from his grasp a powerful shock went up my arm. I shuddered and dove for cover as the shock tingled its way up my arm. A ward, much like the mad priest was raving about. No doubt he'd have another on the other club. I healed myself up with a vial and slipped through the crowd towards him again.

BANG! 

I yelped quietly this time, prepared for the pain as I ran and slipped into the crowd once more. Muttering to myself, I clambered onto a rooftop and reached for my bottle of herbal tea. It wasn't there! I had forgotten my tea! Muttering to myself I drew an oak wand, pointed it at the wounds and they magically healed. No rush, I thought as I slipped the wand to my backpack. And as I watched, Ded drew two fine sabres. I smiled, as I had trained against my tutor with these weapons. I knew their strengths and weaknesses.

Slipping on the roof tiles I moved to another rooftop then dropped down behind Ded straight behind a row of barrels. Ded was running around rapidly kicking barrels over and pulling hoods off peasants in a vain attempt to find me. I sniggered quietly and moved into a position to ambush.

"I think you thieves are cowardly scum!" he screamed in rage. He was rapidly closing in on my position and I knew this was the time. I leapt out silently, stabbing him in the back rapidly; three of my hits pierced his armour and the fourth was deflected. I quickly switched to my Retribution as he screamed. He turned to face me as I smashed my weapon onto his shoulder, causing the crowds to wince as a huge cracking sound pierced the air. I easily dodged his now weakened swings with his sabres and prepared a final blow.

"Do you submit, Lord Ded?!" for once I spoke above a whisper.

"NEVER!!" he screamed and swung madly at me! I sighed inwardly, rolled under one of his swipes, span around and smashed my Retribution down on the back of his head. A sickening crunch mixed with sound of clashing steel was the result of the contact and I quickly stepped back from a last desperate lunge. Ded collapsed onto the floor. Blood was pouring from the stab wounds and his shoulder was buckling under his weight as he tried to rise. Ded groaned weakly as he succumbed to his wounds and passed out, slumping painfully to the floor.

"My Lord!" yelled Johan as he ran to the still body of his Lord. "You killed him!"

"Hmm, no. He's unconscious. He will recover in time, my child." I smiled. "Take him to that Inn, Skiller is the owner. Tell him If he wants to see his wife's wedding ring, this man should receive any assistance he needs. It shall be done."

"Yes, my Master" mumbled Johan.

"Good luck, Johan." I whispered quickly. Not eager to see if the guards wanted some form of revenge I slipped off into the night.

This is the tale of my battle with Ded of Ankh-Morpork.