Life is repetitive, get used to it.

Life is repetitive, get used to it.

Think about it this way. Look at a Hydrogen molecule. What do you see? A proton, which is represented as being round, a few neutrons, again, round, forming a – you guessed it – round nucleus. Then we have electrons, which are disturbingly spherical, and they orbit, in a circular motion, the nucleus.

Think this is a load of crap and there’s no point in me spilling it? Read on.

Our earth is – for the most part – a sphere. It orbits the sun – round – much the same as the electron orbits the nucleus. After that, our solar system orbits, too. It orbits the centre of our galaxy, and our galaxy orbits the centre of the universe. And if there is anything bigger than the universe, then I bet that the universe orbits that too.

Are you starting to see a trend yet?

And, more than that, we have the Circle of Life – not just a “Lion King” song – and “what goes around, comes around” and history repeating, just to name a few. Even the day and night and seasons are a circle. There is no real pause that defines the difference between one day and the next. At the stroke of midnight, there is nothing there to suggest that that is a closed chapter in a book, and that we have a fresh page and a new quill, it’s just going on. Repeating. Beginning again, in a circle. Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring. Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring. Another circle for us. The world is full of circles.

If life is always repeating, and full of circles, then what is the point to life? There mustn’t be one because we’re simply going to repeat again, aren’t we? Even thoughts repeat. I bet that every thought you have in your life has been thought before by someone at sometime. So what is the point of thinking? Even what I’m thinking now as I’m writing this has been thought before, maybe by you, the only reason I’m bothering to write this is because it is in my head and wants out and I’ve never heard anyone thinking these thoughts before – but I bet you it’s been done.

See? Even my speech goes in circles.

So, therefore, if life is only repetitiveness, and circles, and things being thought before and things happening again, then the purpose of life is for there to be something new. Evolution. To evolve. To have ‘new life’ as it were. That must be the purpose – to break out of our mould and to have something new, something that is truly creative and real and new. A new thought, a new idea, hell, even a new brain cell wouldn’t go astray for me! But something that isn’t just a repetition of what has happened before.

Try stepping out of the mould. Try being truly creative. It isn’t creativity that makes the world go round, that’s life – and gravity, but what ya gonna do? I’m not going to make a statement about how life truly is, and how it should be lived. If you want that, go to your local religion. This is just a statement of thought, something to think about, a repetition of what has been said before, and what will be said again. But, with any luck, this might spin someone out of orbit and create a new thought.

I’d like to see what happens next.

– Lena

I wish to pose that everyone knows what they will be when they are very young in life. Those with dreams, those who manage to accomplish their dreams, accomplish these because they know that they will do so. It is to happen, and there is little they can do to stop this, for even if they try, they will soon have the compulsion to do so. As those who know they want to go to Uni, but do not know what course they wish to do will be doomed to either drop out of Uni, or to become – what I have ‘affectionately’ heard labelled as – a ‘seventh year student’. Likewise, those who literally have no idea about what they wish to do, will probably die early. Sorry, but there is a very distinct possibility in this theorem that if you do not know anything about your future, then you will have no future.

Like me, I know that I have no worthwhile future. I will grow up – to an extent – get married, have children, yet not have a job, or at least not a job that requires thinking and become a mother who is unappreciated by her children, and a wife who is unloved by her husband – if indeed my husband sticks around. I will grow old, and either die of some terrible disease, or in a dementia ward, or even become a wayward bum on the street and die nameless and unmourned. I haven’t realised that bit yet.

But what I don’t get is, if I’m going to be a tremendous failure in life – one such as even the most ignorant members of my classes could match – then why, oh why! Must I attend the full thirteen years of mindless, meaningless, monotoneious [is that even a word?] school? I believe I reached my academic peak in year 10, why must I endure two extra years that will determine a destiny I am already aware of?

I should have been one of those morons who fall pregnant at the age of sixteen or younger and then drop out of school and become full time morons. At least that way I wouldn’t have to worry about exams, or the look on my parents face when they read the results of aforementioned exams. I mean, really, what does it matter – with my fated ‘profession’ – if I know that Copper undergoing oxidisation [or being reduced] will become Copper ions with a two-positive charge and producing an additional two loose electrons, or that the Third Estate were hard done by before the French Revolution, or that Thomas Fairfax was the commander in chief or whatever of the New Model Army before he refused to fight against the Scott’s, causing him to quite and Cromwell to take over, or even what the fuck a lexical feature is, or that an Elure path in a network with two vertices of uneven degrees will begin at one of the such vertices and end at the other. DOES IT REALLY MATTER!?!?!?!

The answer, my children, is as follows.

No!

I have known my unremarkably unremarkable fate since I was a child. My dreams have always been unrealistic, even when I did bring them further down to earth. Would anyone out there in the world truly be able to see me, me!, as an archaeologist? I can’t even write a coherent essay for crying out loud! I can’t even spell properly! I’m still a child with abilities that are uncouth and undeveloped. I can’t write, I can’t draw, I can’t act or sing or even be intelligible. Everything that I hold in myself, everything that I look at and say “This defines me” defines me as a child. I cannot go to University next year – they expect adults. And I cannot defer for next year – I will loose my will for school, such as has slipped now. And even if I do actually manage to for fill my degree, what then? What comes next? So I will have a Bachelor of Arts or Archaeology behind me, so what? That will most likely not get me a job, and it is back to my fate for me. Yippy! I have managed to escape it for another three years! I can’t even write melodramatic ‘I am spilling my guts out here for you all to see and slip on in their slippery goo-dness’ right.

I’ll end this here. There is no point in continuing this discussion.

– Lena

This one isn’t really an essay; it’s more of a theory. The only difference between this theory and that of most people is that, well, most people tend to believe in their theories. I don’t believe in this one, I just think it’s a strange turn of thought.

It was earlier this year that I decided that I wanted to continue with my love of mythology, and – after something a friend had imparted onto me – I decided to research the infamous [or not quite so famous, but rather in] Lilith. For those of you who don’t know, Eve was not the first woman.

God created Adam and he, after he tried various animals, decided that no, that wouldn’t do, he needed someone of his own kind to copulate with. [Hey, what? I’m going with the dirty version, it just seems more realistic]. So, good took some more of that dust he used to create Adam [some say that he actually used putrid mud, but I think that was created by men to make them seem better still] and made a woman. Her name was Lilith.

Now, the thing about Lilith was that she was a modern lass. She believed she was equal to Adam and there was no two ways about it. Most things say that they argued about everything and that they each wanted to have domination over one another, while – if I were to again go with the dirty version – some just water the last straw down to that they both wanted to be on top during sex – i.e., both wanted the dominant position – and at times Adam would try to subdue his woman by force. So, when it became all too obvious that Adam was a prick, Lilith "...uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him". [Hebrew Myths by Robert Graves and Raphael Patai (New York: Doubleday, 1964), pp 65-69.]

Lilith was known as a demoness from that point on, and while I would love to continue telling you about her, this is where her relevance leaves this essay. Should you wish to continue learning about her, I recommend this site – http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/~humm/Topics/Lilith/

Most of the stuff I have read say that God then simply created Eve and that was that, enter page one of Genesis. However, I found one passage that I was rather taken with – that there were two Eve’s.

The first was created before Adam’s very eyes, he watched as God formed her skeleton, filled it with organs, covered it with muscles, then skin and hair, and – well – Adam subsequently threw up [or something to that effect.]. Although she was ridiculously beautiful, every time Adam looked at her all he could think about was how she looked with the skin off – and then he probably threw up again. It’d take a few bottles of Jack and a slab of beer to get that image out of his mind and get him in the mood, the only flaw with that plan was that Jack and Beer had yet to be created [that was on the 7th Day Party, I assume. “And HE said, ‘Let there be beer!’ and there was! And it was good!’ ” (I am SO going to get struck down…) ]

In the end, our poor little Eve got sent away. Possibly one of the things that attracted me to this passage so much was the idea that no one knows where she went – she was never mentioned again.

God had the foresight to whack Adam over the head and let him sleep through the creation of the final Eve – the original “Sweetie! I made you an apple pie!” woman – and made sure she was all dolled up like a bride before he presented her to Adam. This woman was much more subservient [poor thing] and pleased Adam greatly. There is some more fun and dirty stuff about Adam and an orgy with Lilith and some other demoness’ after everyone gets kicked out of the Garden of Eden, and some kinky thing about Lilith tricking Eve in the form of a snake and doing some really dirty stuff, but I’ll let you go and read that for yourself. I guess that morality was somewhat lacks back then. [Mythology: The original porn!]

Back to the matter at hand, though. Eve I was gone, what happened? Was she returned back to the dust from whence she came? Did God hitch it over to L.A. and get her some top notch plastic surgery and a new dress and say “Yes, Adam! >cough< This is a different woman!”? Was she left to wander the earth and be really board until Cain came along? Or did she take up with Bitchy Lilith’s Flying Trampshow? My thought is, she went upstairs.

Let’s skip a few thousand years ahead. Anne and Joachim decide to take their beautiful daughter – Mary – to the Temple to be cleansed of her Original Sin. Can you see their shock when they get told; “What? She don’t have any. Don’t ask me how! I’m not the Big Guy, am I? Yeesh… Now if you’ll excuse me I must go to the bathroom, I have some serious mythology to read.”

Let’s face it, Mary had to be without Original Sin, she was to be the Mother of Jesus! She had to be pure, and spotless, and… how the hell did they work around it?

Now, it is technically part of the Christian Faith that there is no such thing as reincarnation, but personally I reckon that every now and then God says “Okay, let’s give you another try.” And he has this perfectly good soul that he’d created who got booted out of house and home before she’d barely got the chance to go “Hello, sailor!” What is one to do? Eve I was pre-getting-kicked-out-of-Eden, and therefore, pre-Original Sin. Her soul was spotless! What is to say that God didn’t just tuck her away for a million years or there abouts and then send her back? As Mary.

Another thing about where Eve-the-First came into the picture, it was also before people were cursed to die, so, technically, she would be immortal. She never ate from the Tree of Knowledge and so she never would have pissed God off royally. If she is unable to die, and did come back as Mary, it’d be a little disconcerting to have this two-thousand year old woman sitting back and saying “Yep, I remember when Jesus was just an itty-bitty-boy…” Mind you, what a trump-card it would be for the Vatican? Did anyone else know that Mary-the-Mother-Of-God was taken up to Heaven body and soul? Without death or decay? After that she was made Queen of Heaven and BOYAKASHA! to that.

I was actually in church when I thought of this, so –> insert embarrassed laugh here. The problem is, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I don’t actually believe this, but I still think that it makes sense and it rather interesting; it also nicely ties a lot of things together. I hope I don’t get condemned to hell or struck by several lightning bolts for this, but, well, I’m full of folly and this is just another way of expressing it. I seriously suggest that people read that stuff on Lilith, though. It makes you think twice.

-Lena