It seems that with all the new and exciting sports out there people haven't really had too much of a thrill. The latest and greatest craze seems to be something that takes a bit of brainless activity and sharp object. In case you don't know what it is im talking about, its self amputation.

In recent months it appears that more and more people are willing to dispense with still valuable limbs to apparently save their own lives (yes two news reports qualifies as 'more and more'). The people that have done this are involved in rather risky and questionable occupations or hobbies.

The first of which a young (we'll say he was young) man found himself climbing through a gorge when a large rock fell on his arm, rather ironic that it was most likely that arm which displaced it in the first place. In a quite irrational state the man decided to get rid of his trapped arm. Rather than go with someone else the elusive title of reckless moron entered his mind as did the possible glory that would come if he achieved the feat of going on an adventure alone. With no one else to help him he decided the knife option was the only way.

After getting rid of the trapped limb he found he had to descend to the bottom of the gorge and then walk out. Well the walking part of it was fine as his legs were okay and we believe that he doesn't walk on his hands. I'm sure this guy would have been thinking 'what if' when he found he needed his arm back, well 'TOO LATE, bucko' your arms gone. Case 1 closed.

As for case 2 this involved an Australian man. WEll to narrow it down and point fingers, a Queesnlander. The incident happened while the culprit was drving a tractor in a mine-shaft, woaw Nelly. Driving a tractor in a mine-shaft, now doesn't that seem strange, rather than leave a tractor where it should be this man obviously thought it would be fun and make a good story when he catches up with his best mate chubba down at the local. Well this bafoon was severely wrong. The tractor with its poor centre of gravity and lack of rollcage prooved to be costly for its passenger, you guessed it another lost limb. I'm not sure whether it still had the back-hoe or any other farming utensils attached but he managed to somehow detach his limb.

Now after the incident had happened and news had spread far and wide, well past the local and to the desks of newsreaders, the man suffered the horrible fate of a bad photo of himself on televsion. Now in this world pictures are everything, including this one. We saw on the news a picture of this man drinking, thats right, perhaps his mate Chubba thought it wise to snap a photo of him at a time when his gaurd was down.

I'm not sure what we are supposed to think by this. Well i thought that this man was a drunk, that was certainly the case when his face is covered by a beer can that streched from his nose down past his hairy second chin. This leads to questions like why did they employ a drunk? And does he ever drink anything else?

But maybe this proof of his obvious liking for alcohol explains how he got into the situation in the first place. A drunk man would get a piece of mining equipment mixed up a common farming tractor, suggesting the whole taking the tractor for a spin, but how about flipping it? Drunk driving has caused some strange accidents in the past and this is another inclusion, trying to do wheelies in a tractor or perhaps get the front wheels off the ground, and why do it in a mine-shaft where your best mate Chubba or anyone else for that matter can't see it.

It's quite clear that this man although drunk didn't really put in any thought or forward planning into his hijinks or drunk tractor hooning, which is a shame.

Well that's my assumption atleast, so remember before you do anything see whether you might need to severe a limb, it could be your ticket to an ambarrassing news report.

I'll step off my soap box now.