Sunday, March 28, 2004
Wow! What a great couple of days its been!First of all, the variety show started on Thursday and just ended tonight. The last night was super funny. I'm afraid I missed most of the second night due to a track meet (more on that later). Andy, Joe, Dillion, Mike and Mike did an excelent job singing and doing skits. Oh, and Addison, Zach and John's Tootsie Roll lipsync won! If only I had gotten pictures of them in their costumes.. (Don't ask)
So now, the track meet.. was really really great! Everybody did so well. I am happy for everyone. I ran three events yesterday. My first event was the 55m Hurdles. I was really nervious but I won my heat and placed 5th over-all so I guess that's not too bad. Next I had a relay which was ok but I don't really like them.. My last race was my most successful though. I won my heat in the 200 in 31 seconds flat and placed 4th over-all. But the best part is that my coach is going to let me run it again!
So what else.. Oh, Heres something to ponder for a while : Why do friends drift apart and them come back together again? Is that a sign of a weak friendship or maybe perhaps a strong one? It's hard for one to tell.
Ah! A Wishlist!
Writen by: Andi
Friday, March 26, 2004
I don't understand people at all.I don't even know where to begin with this.. I have so many feelings right now. First of all.. its 11:34 and I have school tomorrow and I havn't looked at my homework. I have alot due and the end of the quarter is tomorrow. I just can't do my work though when I am feeling like this.
And what I mean by that is that I have been feeling really depressed lately. No, not shoot myself depressed.. Just unhappy. I don't want to die, I just want things to work out better for me. I'm struggling with my grades right now and it really deosn't help that I have a whole bunch of distractions.
It always seems that the second I try to catch up in one class and succeed at it, I just get behind in another class, and the second I am caught up in that class, I am behind once again in another one. I feel so hopeless and I am really at the breaking point at which I don't care any more. I mean, I try so hard but I can't keep everything together. I did stay after though today for geometry and biology and managed to catch up in both but I still have geometry due tomorrow. I just wish this quarter would end so I can start fresh.
Now if only my parents wouldn't get mad at me.
It also really deosn't help that I am being tormented by people. And nobody is really doing it on purpose so I am not mad at them for the most part. But wow, where to begin (I don't want to tick people off, so no names are going to be used here.. So bare with me the best you can).. Well, I have one friend who says I am mean to her when I am with my other friend, which I am not, and another friend who is pretty much ignoring me because people pick on him too much or something... But honestly I think it is about time people just suck it up and accept the fact that it's not everybody's intention to hurt their feelings.
So, in the end, I only have a few people who don't have "a problem" with me. And strangely one of them is someone I thought I would never trust again.. But I thank her so much for being there the past week or so.
I am not going to go into detail about the last reason I am being tormented because, for the most part, its all in my head. I just can't seem to get over the fact that I have been used and disrespected so badly.. I denied it for a long time, even after someone told me straight out that I was being mistreated. But now that it has sunk in I am so completely bothered by it. Everytime I think about it I just seethe with anger.. Which is nothing like me at all. I never let myself hate anyone and I try to let things go.. It's been a really long time sence I have disliked anyone.(even though I'm sure alot of you don't believe me).
The thing is, I just can't let it go. Everytime I think about how I was treated I either get immensly depressed or extremely angry. I try to tell myself that it deosn't matter and that I should be happy, and I almost believe myself but it deosn't take much for me to be angry again. I am really ashamed about being angry, but something about being disrespected, taken for granted, and used really sticks with you for a long time, nomatter how you feel about the person anymore.
Well, I am glad to get that off my chest. That has been building up for a long while now and it needed to get out of my system. Oh, and by the way, I am not mad at any of my friends at all. I just don't understand them sometimes and wish that I didn't make them feel bad.. Even though I'm not trying to.
written by: Andi
Saturday, March 20, 2004
I kind of had a rough day today. I had to be at the school by 7:15 to go to contest at UMD which wasn't very fun. It was really boring and it brought back memories that I wish I didn't have. The lady who judged me seemed slightly insulting and said I had a flat tone.. Thanks. She also gave me 34 points when what you need is 35 to get to state. Thanks again.And something else that has been in the back of my mind is starting to chatch up with me. I feel like I am being tormented about it. I just want to forget but I can't, and I wish I didn't care but I do. It's driving me mad. I feel like I just can't be happy because its always in the back of my mind. Nobody should be tormented like this.
Well I am going to go now. I've had enough of this. It's too depressing.
written by: Andi
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
I have four minutes before I have to go finish my geometry homework so I am going to try to make this brief.My day started out pretty good. We began our geometry test today and I was feeling pretty confident about it because I actaully had notes to work from for once. Then in biology I started to catch up with the work I am missing and I plan to have every bit of it in by Friday. Even track practice went well, even though I was completely exhausted and sore by the time we headed to the locker rooms. But so far so good right?
That is until me and my mom started fighting. It always ends up the same way.. I can never remember what we were fighting about and by the end of it all she is mad at me about something else or she just calls me names. It's so immature. I tell her to stop, I tell her I don't care what she says, I tell her what she is saying isn't nice, but it just seems to fuel her more..
I'm not saying she is a bad parent, because she isn't. She's just hard to deal with sometimes and by the time the fighting is over it seems to erase everything I was happy for that day.
Well this was suposed to be brief.. But I am seven minutes past my original four and I really should be gone now..
written by: Andi
Monday, March 15, 2004
Track officially started today! And I'm hurt'n.Yup. Practice was really great today. I seem to be in way better shape then I thought I was and there are a whole bunch of new faces there this year so it's all good. Now I just have to wait for them to brake out the hurdles..
I had to run to orchestra right after practice today. I almost forgot how much of a hassle that was. Anyway, we got four or five sight reading songs, so as you can imagine it turned out to be a long night. It was weird though because we played a bunch of stuff I have seen before, like Maleguania, The Theme from Adia, and Bolero. Very nifty.
So I'm thinking that this is about all for tonight. I need my sleep for practice tomorrow.
written by: Andi
Monday, March 15, 2004
It's 12:09 so I really should be in bed..But first I must tell you all about the Bulldogs game!
Ok, so tonight we had really good seats and we could finally see all the action and what not, (unlike yesterdays game) and just a few seats behind us where a couple of players who weren't playing tonight. Cyndi insisted that we have our picture taken with them. At first I objected.. but who could resist having your picture taken with these guys?
During the 3rd period me and Cyndi went down to ice level by the dogs' box to get some good pictures. By the time my camera went dead I had taken over 40 pictures. After the game we went to Old Chicago and saw about half the team there. I got autographs from Isaac and Tim and a few other guys. I really wanted a picture of me and Isaac but alas, my camera was dead.. Drats.
Well, time for sleep.. Track practice begins tomorrow and I still need to print off some pictures before I go to bed.
written by: Andi
Sunday, March 14, 2004
I love hockey.Yup, it's true. I am crazy for hockey. I just spent the past three days watching State Finals and the UMD Bulldogs. Sure I went to school and a pep band or two.. but the highlight of the past few days? Hockey.
Track starts in one day!
Tell me what you think of the new layout.
written by: Andi
Wednsday, March 03, 2004
Hey, it's been a while! I don't really feel like writting much. I just know that I should update.. so here I am!I got to hang with Nick, Zach and Cyndi tonight at pep band for girls basketball. That was really fun. Except for my major head ache.. That wasn't so great..
Anyway, Head of the Lake, The Band Extravaganza, contest and the band trip are coming up real fast. It seems that they are all lumped together just to cause more stress. I'm having a hard time trying to find a good time to get my braces put on. I have an apointment tomorrow so we can discuss what I have to do and how long they will be on. Such stuff like that.. I have to remember to ask about how long it will take before I can comfortably play my sax again..
Well, enough of this.. I need to study for my Biology test tomorrow.. Plus I still have to do my geometry.
By the way.. Go check out my new page!! ThreeHundred65
written by: Andi