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LOVE ON THE INTERNET
by Colleen Moulding
Margaret, 38, a divorcee from Hereford
was shown how to use the Internet by her teenage daughter. She met Alan,
44, a chemist from New York in a gardening chat room. "He asked me a
question about Albertine roses," laughed Margaret. "We chatted
quite often after that, mainly about our gardens at first. Then Alan sent
some photos of his garden with him in it, and I straight away thought how
handsome he was. I sent photos back, half thinking that I wouldn't hear
from him again, but the e-mails kept on coming and one day after we'd been
corresponding for about nine months Alan got the chance to come to England
on business. We met up in London last November and we got on really well
together. I'm going to see him in New York in two months time, so who
knows what will come of it?" Lizzie Bell was only sixteen when she
started chatting to Mark on the Internet and found that they didn't live
far apart from each other in North London. They even knew some of the same
people! After chatting every day for about a month Mark suggested that
they meet in a cafe one Saturday morning. "We decided to both carry a
copy of a certain computer magazine," said Mark, "but I knew she
was the one the minute she walked in the door." "I had already
told him what I looked like anyway," said Lizzie, "and I made
sure I liked the look of him before I got my magazine out of my bag."
Over a year later Lizzie and Mark are still together and planning an
engagement on Lizzie's eighteenth birthday. Things don't always work out
quite so well though as Rebecca 42, from Leeds found out. Rebecca joined
an Internet dating service. When she first met William he seemed like her
ideal man, smart, handsome and sophisticated. At first they had a good
time together with trips to the theatre and the races, even a weekend in
Paris, until Rebecca began to suspect his motives. William was
increasingly "just a little short of cash" until a business deal
went through. Eventually Rebecca realized that the deal he was waiting for
was marrying her for her not inconsiderable money. "I later found out
this was not the first time he'd tried it either" said a
disillusioned Rebecca. There certainly are precautions you must take to
keep yourself safe if you intend to meet people in this way. CHAT ROOM
CHECKLIST For a start please don't believe everything you're told. He or
she may be a company director with a big house and a company car, on the
other hand they may be on benefit and up to their eyes in debt. If someone
sounds too good to be true - they probably are! Don't reveal too much
about yourself. Use an alias or a nickname, this is quite common practice,
and don't reveal too much about your physical whereabouts either,
especially if you live alone or in an isolated place. There are con
artists who target the lonely and will think their ship has come in if you
give out this sort of information. Be aware that if you put your
photograph on the Internet anyone can right click on their mouse and put
that picture anywhere that they like in any context. Also consider when
looking at photos of others that many people put on photographs that are
years out of date when they were slimmer, younger, had hair etc. Don't
even think about giving out your telephone number under any circumstances.
Call the other person from a public telephone, or dial 141 before you call
them and they can't get your number by dialling 1471. (UK) Use your common
sense. It's easy in the heat of the moment to give away details about
yourself that you would never usually reveal to a stranger. Take your time
and don't be rushed into meeting, especially if you have any doubts at all
about someone. On the other hand if you get to know someone and they are
strangely coy about meeting up perhaps they are already married, or ten
years older or younger than they have told you. Beware of men or women who
"love" you within days, they almost definitely have an ulterior
motive. When you do decide to meet, take the same precautions over your
personal safety that you would with any stranger. Meet in a public place,
tell someone where you are going and with whom, keep your house and car
keys with you at all times, be careful about your drink being spiked and
take a taxi home so that your date doesn't know your home address. Love
and friendship have blossomed on the Internet for many people who might
otherwise never have met, for whom the computer cursor became Cupid's
arrow, just be careful and look after yourself. © Colleen Moulding 1999
****************************************************
Colleen Moulding is a freelance writer
living in the south of England. She is also the owner/editor of All That
Women Want.com http://www.allthatwomenwant.com
a magazine, web guide and resource for women everywhere. You have
permission to reprint this article in your newsletter or on your web site
provided that this information is included and you send an e-mail to
editor@allthatwomenwant.com telling us where it will be used. Receive a
free monthly e-zine from All That Women Want.com by sending a blank e-mail
to allthatwomenwant-subscribe@onelist.com
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