KRYCEK/SPORK SMUT FIC

Foon and Spork headed out to Foon's pickup truck. Looking inside, Spork could 
see another figure in the car. 

"FOON!" the woman bellowed. "FOON! I was so worried!" She grabbed Foon and pulled Foon into a passioniate embrace. Spork looked away embarassedly. "The orbs could have eaten you, you know!" she cried. 

"I'm all right now, Karen." Foon gave a sheepish look to Spork. "Spork, this is my 
girlfriend, Karen Catalina. 

"Hi Spork!" Karen turned to Foon. "Foon, dearest, did you get back ALL of your Better 
Homes and Gardens or were you too embarrassed to ask? 

"I got them." Foon handed the magazines to Karen and started the car engine. 

"So, " Karen turned to Spork. "What brings you to us?" 

Spork looked over at Foon. Foon leaned in to Karen. "Errr...honey." Foon whispered. "This 
would be the one we are kidnapping and stealing the baby from." 

Karen froze. "Oh, you poor dear. Kidnapped in that outfit? Foon, turn around NOW! Spork 
deserves to wear something better than that horrid excuse for an ensemble!!" 

Foon sighed. "Spork can borrow something of mine." 

"Oh." Karen blinked. "So, Spork, heard any good jokes lately?" 
 

Koolaid Drinking Man sat in his chair, contemplating life. After he had told Chia, she had ran away. 

He heard a noise from the other room. A tall brunnette vixen (lol!) stepped out of the room. 

"Hey baby" she said throatedly. 

"Hi Rachael." he sighed. 

"So, didja like, tell your kid that you were her rent or whateva?" she said airily. 

"Yes," he took a swig of his Koolaid. "and she...ran away." 

"Like, bummer." Rachael said, walking over to him. "So, like, didja wanna have sex or what?" 

She sat down in his lap and knocked his Koolaid off the desk. He stared at her in horror. 

"Ehh. Like, double bummer!" 
 

Chia stood outside crying. Suddenly she heard some crashing and what sounded like a broken record playing some theme song. 

ChildOfNite fell down out of the sky. "Damn." she said outloud. "This superhero gig gets OLD" She stood up and dusted the grime off her pants and noticed Chia standing at her in amazement. 

"Oh, hi Chia." 

"How do you know my name?" Chia cried in disbelief 

"God damn you people are getting predicatable!" ChildOfNite cried. "I mean, you have to go to your father." 

"How do you know all that?" Chia asked suspicously. 

ChildOfNite rolled her eyes. "You people. I'm wearing a cape and I fell from the sky. Of course I'm going to know SOMETHING!" 

Chia looked at her strangely. 

"Look, I've got to get back to Krycek. He fell asleep, but should awaken soon. You have to go to your father and tell him that ChildOfNite will not let him down,mmmkay?" 

"Why don't you just tell him yourself?" Chia asked curiously. 

ChildOfNite rolled her eyes again. "I'm a superhero! We work in mysterious ways. " 

Chia looked at ChildOfNite flew away. Whatever was she to do? 
 

Krycek blinked and looked at ChildOfNite. "Did you just go somewhere?" 

ChildOfNite sighed. " No...." 

Krycek shrugged. "Okay..Now we have to go save spork!" 

He started to run off into the night, but ChildOfNite stopped him. " Come on honey, do 
you really think you are going to beat the evil advesaries without any prepartation at all?" 

Krycek looked confused. "But they never prepare in the movies! Bruce Willis never prepared!" 

ChildOfNite glared at him. " YOU are not Bruce Willis! You will never be Bruce Willis!"  ChildOfNite stared off dreamily. "Bruce...someday we will be together.." 

"Huh?" Krycek said perpexledly. 

"Nothing!" ChildOfNite snapped, losing her dreamy look. "Now, we've got a lot of work to do." 

"Well, what do we do?" Krycek asked. "I've never saved my lover from an evil madman with the aid of an faded superhero. Damn, this would make a good movie!" 

"Faded? Faded?? Just because I failed ONE fricking mission I'm faded???? I mean, come on!" 

Krycek jumped at the anger in ChildOfNite's voice. "Okay, okay. sorreee. Now we have to 
get down to business. How do we stop Foon?" 

ChildOfNite scoffed. "You think it is just Foon involved in this?" 

"There is more??" 

"But of course. Your Koolaid Drinking Friend and the OB of Spork..." 

"Koolaid Drinking Man? I should have known he was in on this. Since of course he's 
killed my mother, driven my father to suicide, and been involved in every major event in 
my life, it would make sense that he was in on the plan of kidnapping my love!" 

"Now, " ChildOfNite said, "We've got to get to the pressing issue. How to stop a Koolaid 
Drinking Man." 

Krycek thought this over for a while. "Ummm...I don't know." 

ChildOfNite threw down her hands in frustration. "Gack!" she turned and faced the other way, muttering obscenities. She turned around back to face Krycek and said very plainly and 
slowly. "What...is...a...KOOLAID...DRINKING...man's weakness?" 

Krycek shrugged. "Uhhh...necrophilac porn?" 

ChildOfNite started to turn red. "KOOLAID YOU MORON!" 

"Oh. So, I've got it. We kidnap his Koolaid?" 

"No.....we need something that will disable his Koolaid. " 

Krycek brightened. "Like salt?" 

ChildOfNite smiled. "Maybe you do have a brain there, Kryceck, maybe you do."