THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

By Jo
EnyaJo@aol.com

TRIO CHALLENGE: musket ball, a rake, slippers
QUOTE: "It is a true saying that a man must eat a peck of salt with his friend before he knows him." Cervantes Don Quixote.
Since that boy just won't stop speaking to me, I'm continuing with my Grisham theme here:

~~~~~

Grisham walked into Montoya's office after being summoned. As soon as he entered, he knew he was in trouble. On the desk in front of the Colonel was a musket ball, Montoya's fingers were rolling it back and forth between them. "You called?" Grisham asked as he stood at attention by the door.

"Yes," Montoya easily said, sitting back in his chair. An easy smile creased his face, which made Grisham nervous. "It took you over an hour to come to me after you were called. Would you like a pipe and slippers to make yourself more comfortable?"

"Well, if it's not too much trouble..."

Even though Grisham had said it with a killer smile, the joke hadn't worked. Grisham immediately explained, "I was late getting here because I had to ride in from the shore were I was in the midst of training the new recruits. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes, Capitan," Montoya said, pointing at his desk. "That musket ball is the only piece of evidence found in the bank after the robbery last night. That is not much to go on."

"Okay..." Grisham didn't know why he had to ride in just for inventory of evidence. He asked that, knowing that there had to be. He did a mental list of everything he had done in the past 24 hours. He had beat another prisoner, but that was at the behest of the Colonel himself, so that wouldn't be it... He went out to the Hidalgo estate to look in a window at that Dona who shall remain nameless. The mere thought of her beauty as she brushed her long, blond hair while sitting at her vanity table almost made Grisham lose his train of thought, but not for long. Who needs her anyway? He had thought about crashing Señorita Alvarado's pig roast but decided against it because he might be spotted by that wise acre Marta. He woke up that morning determined to put his mind on work and had rounded up the new recruits to go through military drills, just after spotting Señorita Valdez at the cantina eating breakfast and asked her to dine with him that evening. Grisham hoped this wouldn't take long, he had to clean up, change and go over to her family's hacienda. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes," Montoya stood and said. He still had that smile on his face and Grisham was still nervous. "You will have dinner with me."

"Hm?"

"We need to have a discussion."

"Look, I know that I've been letting things slide lately and there is much to do and I've let you down, Colonel, but I'm back in the game and everything will--."

Montoya cut him off with the raise of his hand, as he opened the door to his private quarters. "You can lie to me over lamb. Come."

After Montoya entered his quarters, Grisham cautiously followed. The Colonel had already laid his napkin on his lap and had motioned for the cook to start serving. He said, "You do not want to eat cold lamb, do you?"

"There's nothing worse than cold lamb." Grisham took his place near Montoya, standing at his side, not sitting down. "Sir, I have a date tonight. As much as that lamb smells delectible--."

"You no longer have a date tonight, Grisham. I have spoken to her and she is no longer expecting you."

"Excuse me?"

"Sit. Cook will not serve us until you are seated."

Grisham slumped into the chair across from Montoya. "You spoke to Señorita Valdez?"

"Yes." Montoya waited until after their salads were placed in front of them and the cook had left the room before continuing. "The señorita had been looking forward to your 'date', and you may still have one in the future, but I find it my duty to have a talk with you first."

"I already know about the birds and the bees, Colonel."

"Maybe," Montoya said, smiling. "In your warped sense of reasoning. But Don Valdez is an important member of this community and if you 'date' his daughter in same manner that you have 'dated' other señoritas since Doña Hidalgo dumped you, I will be quite busy fixing the mess. I have more important things to do than try to wrangle a rifle out of the hands of a father with a mission."

Grisham ate the salad and stewed over those words. Not only did Montoya know about him and Vera, but also about his other conquests. Suddenly, Montoya said, "Marcus. Rakes may seduce women, and enjoy the women they get, but they do not attain Doñas. Single ones, anyway. What is your purpose? I thought you were supposed to concentrate on Señorita Alvarado?"

"She's a cold fish. Why don't you date her? You have something in common. I don't even see you date."

"We are not talking about me, Marcus, we are talking about you."

"Colonel? Don't call me Marcus."

"Why not?"

"It's just... weird."

"Yes," Montoya agreed. "It is. I thought I would use your given name to offer an air of friendship to you."

"Friends?" That was the last thing Grisham had thought them to be.

"Yes. We have worked together for a while now and thought it would be time to get to know one another. It is a true saying that a man must eat a peck of salt with his friend before he knows him."

"A peck of salt?"

"It's Cervantes, Grisham."

"That's better. Call me Grisham. I'm more comfortable with that."

Cook and the staff came in with the lamb with all the fixings. After taking away the salad plates, Montoya and Grisham were both served. Grisham glared at the Colonel. Who does he think he is? A ruler?! Well... I guess he is, but not of my private life. How did he ever think he could interfere with my love life? I was sweet with her. I was charming. I about had a headache thinking of the right things to say to the señorita when I asked her out, and she was happy to have dinner with me...

The staff left after their plates were served. The lamb did smell and look delicious, but Grisham was too angry to eat. "Colonel, whatever gave you the idea that I would treat Señorita Valdez with anything but the upmost care and respect? I've had my eye on her for a long time."

"Your past record with women speaks for itself, Grisham," Montya stated before taking a forkful of lamb into his mouth. He sat back and seemed to let it dissolve in his mouth before swallowing it. "I do not mind that you have trysts with chambermaids and seamstresses, but Señorita Valdez is a member of society. We have to maintain the peace at any cost, Capitan."

Grisham hurriedly ate the lamb before saying, "I'm offended, Colonel," thinking that talking back to Montoya would only result in his being kicked out before getting to eat it.

Montoya licked some meat from his teeth and asked, "How so?"

"I know exactly how to treat a woman and of course I'm going to move very slowly with Señorita Valdez. I'm not an idiot."

That last line echoed in the air as Montoya took a forkful of roasted sweet potatoes into his mouth and again savored the taste and texture before swallowing it. Montoya lightly chuckled, and then reached for the wine bottle and poured them each a glass. "Here, Grisham. But do not drink too much. You really should not foster your delusion of grander with alcohol, so be careful."

~~~~~

My Grisham muse just stormed out of the room...

Nobility