Bittersweet Joy

A tinge of sadness in my heart
where there is also joy
As news reached us of the arrival
of my brother's baby boy.

So happy for him and his wife
that from the heavens above
Came this beautiful little gift
wrapped in their warmth and love.

I see the happiness in their eyes
I see their love grow
With three children whom they adore -
the love I yearn to know.

Though not to begrudge their happiness
I do not let them see
How much hurt I feel in my heart
that again it wasn't me.

I long for a baby in my arms
the way I'd always dreamed of
To be blessed with the gift of life
from the depth of our love.

I want to hear the cry in the night
to wipe away the tears
To be the image of love and strength
throughout their growing years.

I wish that I could know the joy
that I so long to share
With my husband, to have a family
and a baby to love and care.

Yet so happy for them both
their family is complete
The joy I share within my heart
still feels so bittersweet.

The happiness that is in their eyes
and the joy that I see
This blessed gift of life they share
is how it was meant to be.

© Christina
19th February, 2001

"These words are written so full of understanding at the bittersweet joy of a loved one experiencing the gift of life, when one is not as blessed to know its joy. The happiness at the birth of the child, yet still tinged with sadness that they don't have a child of their own. A lonely feeling that many women know only too well."