Silent Running

See the raindrops on my window
Or are they tears, I wonder?
I cannot see, for darkness envelops
The thoughts on which I ponder.

Wiping away the tear-streaked mist
That seemed to cloud my path
Where is the happiness I once felt;
And why do I not laugh?

Peering into the stillness
The blackness of the night
I pause upon my wayward path
I cannot lose my sight.

Restlessness cascaded me
Questions filled my mind -
Who am I; where am I going;
And what am I going to find?

Reaching out into emptiness
Is there anybody there?
I want to feel happiness, to be free,
Oh, please, hear my prayer!

Silence has engulfed my heart
I know what I must do
I cannot keep running away
From what I know is true.

So much to learn in one short life
My wrongs transferred to right,
Forgiveness and grace envelop me,
Changing darkness into light.

Comforting peace overwhelms me
Cleansing through my soul,
Filling me with a placid calm
and a stillness that makes me whole.

Feel the love envelop me
and the warmth of the embrace
Oh I cannot begin to comprehend
The wonder of His grace.

Why did I stray that wayward path?
And why did I not see,
That His tears were in those raindrops?
He never stopped loving me.

The raindrops still fall on my window
The tears are now of peace
Happiness has vanquished all I feel
And my running now has ceased.

© Christina ~ 1996

Written about me finding myself after leaving an abusive marriage.