THE DREV SAGA
Part 3: Drev Vs. Gaz














Legal Corn!: Jhonen owns IZ and he has armpits. YES! I THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE BUT HE DOES HAVE ARMPITS! I wish I had armpits...

PART 3! GAH! NOW! ARGH! WHERE’S THE BEEF?!?!?

(At the end of Part 2, it seems Drev is up to something..........something skank-nasty, but what? The next day, Zim, Dib, and Gaz are on the bus going to skool. I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!)

Bus driver: (with a stupid look on his face) ME TAKE YOU TO SKOO! ME YOUR MASTER ON BUS! SHUT THE FOOK UP OR I WILL RUB MUSTARD IN YOUR EYES! AHH! WHAZ DAT SOUND! ME DRIVE!

(The other kids are in fear with their lives as they stare at the bus driver who is trying to stick his tounge into his belly button while he drives (Isn’t that cute?) while Dib tries to talk to Zim.)

Dib: ZIM! I need to talk to you! It’s about that spooky guy Drev!

Zim: GET AWAY! You are allies against my plans of doom and stuff! You reek of the smell of the gravy of alliences!

Dib: No! I’m not with him! He’s out to get you, and probably me as well! We need to do something!

Zim: YOU LYING PIECE OF LYING STUFF! I’ll believe it when I see it.

Dib: Well.....you’re going to. Just don’t come to me when you’re gonna be killed by him!

Bus Driver: (His head turns 180 degrees) HEY KEEDS! DED YOU KNOW THAT DA POINTY PART OF ME NIPPLES ARE A FOOOOOOOT LONG! WANNA SEE?!?!?

(The bus driver lifts up his shirt, revealing that the pointy part of his nipples are a foot long, and a rat is chewing on the left pony part. Some kids scream and some throw up. Meanwhile, in the back of the bus, Drev is think of stuff.....HE THINKS STUFF!)

Drev: I still need more parts! But how? Just snatching from Zim at Skool is not working as well as I thought it would be. Fuck! Think of a plan!

(Drev looks around the bus when he sees Gaz. Gaz is sitting playing on her Game Slave 2 with a game called “Cucumber Wars”. Drev jumps from his seat to the seat where Gaz is at. Gaz gives Drev a split second glance, then goes back to playing the game.)

Drev: Soooooooooooooo...... what are you-

Gaz: Shut up. Game playing.

Drev: Ummm...anyways. My name is Drev. And you’re Gaz, cause I know Dib from the internet.

Gaz: Actually, my name is Shut The Fuck Up Right Now Before I Kick You In The Balls So Hard You Will Vomit Them Up And.....(pause her game) Wait.. you’re Drev? Dib says you’re a crazy guy that does things that are crazy.

Drev: That’s what he thinks. To me I’m normal! (Eye twitches)

Gaz: Whatever. (goes back to playing her game)

Drev: Did you know that Dib thinks donkeys are pod people that attacked horses a long time ago? THAT’S STUPID!

Gaz: I’m trying but play!

Drev: But this part is funny! He also says Bigfoot is a pimp in Detroit and is the reason people can’t find him!

Gaz: SHUT UP ALREADY! (The game screen shows a cucumber exploding, then it says GameOver. Gaz’s eyes are big and looks really pissed.) I.......GOT...........A...........GAME................OVER.................BECAUSE..............OF..........YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drev: Well SORRY! It’s just a damn game! I’ll shut up now!

(The bus stops at Skool.)

Bus Driver: WE HERE! ME LET YOU GOOOOOOO!!! REEMEMBER THE PICKLES ARE DEEEEEEEEEMONS FROM HELL!!!! EAT THE MONKEY, FER GOD’S SAKE, EAT THE MONKEY!

(When all the kids get off of the bus, the bus driver floors it going 200 mph then crashes into a brick wall and the bus explodes. The bus driver is lauched into the air and he’s on fire and laughing like a maniac, when an airplane hits him which kills him. Zim, Dib, and Drev go to Ms. Bitter’s class.)

Ms. Bitters: Today class, we are going to learn about what you sickening students are made of............infections! Now I brought in some examples of infections for you to gaze at. Now this poor excuse of a man has a giant infected toe. Now see the effect infections have on pressure. (Takes a hammer and slams it on the infected toe. The person screams in horror and pain while the kids are grossed out by the infection. Hehe this is based on my infect toe i have right now.) This other infection on his cow leg is caused by a midget bite that was from a crazy midget. Now this, students, is a large jar of an unknown infection found right here in this class room.

(Drev looks interested in the unknown infection, staring at it and looking funny. He shakes his head.)

Drev: (Thinking to himself) It has to be from the records! (Raises his hand and says outloud) Ms. Bitters, can I have some of that infection for myself pleeeeeeease? (Has a big grin on his face.)

Ms Bitters: What do you want with it?

Drev: Ummmm...soup! I want to make soup with it! Some (shudders) pus....soup.

Ms. Bitters: You don’t eat pus, Drev.

Drev: Listen! (Gets up from his seat) I have a craving for pus that only that jar of pus can stop! (Grabs the jar) NOW GIMMIE!

Ms. Bitters: (Gets up from her desk and hisses) SIT DOWN! YOU CAN’T HAVE IT!

Drev: I WANT IT! DON’T MAKE ME BITE YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!

Ms. Bitters: YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME AND PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL SEND YOU TO AN EVIL VORTEX!

Drev: (Places the jar infront of Ms. Bitter’s face, and screams) SHUT UP MS. BITTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Ms. Bitters looks at the jar with a strange look, and sits back to her desk. Drev goes back to his desk with the jar. Drev looks at Ms. Bitters and Ms. Bitters twitches a little and stops.)

Ms. Bitters: Class, I would like to announce that I like pretty pretty kitties and at night I take my clothes off and do happy dances.

(The class looks at her with a weird look, and Drev grins evilily. The bell rings and Skool is over. Zim and the other go on to their normal (or what they call normal) day while Drev does something unknown and spooky at his house. AND I WON’T TELL YOU LATER ON WHAT HE DOES SO HA! The next day at Skool, during recess, Drev is talking to Gaz.)

Drev: What do you know about Zim? What does he do? Huh? HUH? HUH?!?!?

Gaz: (playing on her GS-2) I don’t know much about Zim, and be quiet! You’re really pissing me off!

Drev: THAT’S It! I’M TRING TO BE NICE TO OU AND ALL YOU DO IS PLAY VIDEO GAMES! YOU HAVE A SHITTY LIFE!

(The other kids look at Drev and Gaz. Dib goes to Gaz, and Zim goes near the argument to see what Drev is doing.)

Dib: Hey! What’s going on? Are you making fun of my sister?

Gaz: I can take care of it, Dib. Don’t worry.

Drev: Yeah, you over-protecting cock-monkey! This is our fight!

Gaz: You know what? I feel like kicking your ass right now! How does that sound to you?

Drev: Sounds fine to me.

Gaz: Heh. You wouldn’t hit a girl, pussy!

(Drev looks at Gaz with a serious look, then does a roundhouse kick to the side of Gaz’s face. The other students except for Zim and Dib who are shocked are yelling in happiness and screaming like monkeys wanting more fighting. Gaz gets up with her nose bleeding a little. She wipes off the blood and then kicks Drev in the balls as she learned from Battle Battle Footy Kick. VIDEO GAMES ARE SUCH TUTORS!)

Drev: GAH! Happy sack......in....PAIN! (Gets up) THAT’S IT! It’s time to fight in my game! (Grabs a little device from his pocket, which looks like a tiny, one-button remote control.) I bet Zim know what....or maybe I should say WHO this is! (He presses the button, which causes a student to be hypnotized. He presses it more times until all the students are hypnotized except for himself, Gaz, Zim, and Dib.) You three, I would Like you to meet, yet again, PUSTULIO!

Zim: WHAT?!?!? HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

Drev: Funny you should ask. Remember when I took that jar from yesterday? That was the rest of Pustulio. Thanks to Zim and my quick reflexes, I took a few parts of his backpack, and used this Irken pus to make this spiffy mind controlling remote control. I’m like the Martha Stewart of evil doom stuff! Now here’s a demo what i can do! (Presses a button and the kids make a circle around him and Gaz) Now, that fight thing. Lets continue it.

(Drev and Gaz fight for a few minutes, and Dib is trying to stop it while Zim sits and thinks where Drev knew about Pustulio and how he’ll attack next. During the fight, Gaz gets pushed and her GS-2 falls to the around. The fight continues on until Drev back up a little until he hears a loud CRUNCH sound. Drev looked down and noticed that he just stepped and crushed her Game Slave 2. Gaz is horrorfied at the death of her GS-2.)

Drev: Oooooooooooooooooh shit..........um.......sorry about that.

Gaz: My........m-m-my...................GAME SLAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(TIME FOR SOME DRAMATIC MOOD! The whole place goes black where Gaz and Drev are shown. Slipknot music starts playing and Gaz is getting really pissed. Evil images start flashing before Drev’s eyes like a chicken exploding and a moose and OTHER SCARY STUFF! What was going in the normal world, Dib and Zim just saw Gaz beat the living bloody shit out of Drev. In the end, Gaz is looking pissed and breathing heavily and Drev is on the ground all bloddy and looking half dead.)

Drev: Eck.......Aah............bad things..............stuff...................hurt.........

Gaz: You just felt my true wrath. Please don’t let me unleash it again. (walks back to a seat, puts her hand in her other pocket, and pulls out another GS-2.)

Dib: You had a second Game Slave?

Gaz: I was ready for a scenerio like this. (starts playing her other GS-2)

(Dib sees the remote control, and breaks it causing the students to go back to normal. They start screaming like monkeys not knowing the fight ended. They see Drev on the ground all bloody like. Most of them laugh at him and some grab a stick and poke him to see if he’s alive.)

Drev: Ow............no pokey..................my eye.....................sticks bad..............

Dib: Now that helped, but I now know Drev is up to something more than just stopping Zim from dooming the earth.

Zim: How do you know?

HOW DOES DIB KNOW? HOW DID DREV KNOW HOW TO USE IRKEN TECHNOLOGY AND KNOW ABOUT PUSTULIO? CAN I HAVE THAT CHEESE SANDWICH? ALL ANSWERS WILL BE ANSWERES LATER ON! MAYBE SOME ON THE NEXT PART, MAYBE ON THE OTHERS! YOU’LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!

To be continued......

This part is dedicated to the memory of that crazy buddriver and Gaz’s old GS-2.