Oh my giddy aunt did we have a wicked time. As I'd never been on a rollercoaster before of course we go to the world's state of the art fuck you up ride center. It took awhile to get in because Sarah forgot her powder and had to go all the way back to the Itchy lot for it, then Francis realized he was still laden with knives and stuff and had to go back to drop them off. First off we went on that one where you sit in the round bumper car boat and get tossed down rapids and utterly drenched. In the queue we came across a tree that looked like it still had Christmas decorations on it, turned out that they were actually used chewing gums, all manner of colors pressed to it, ew.

The ride rooled. Then we went on the log ride, which was killer as well. Mostly we were doing Star Wars quotes coz you get floated along this trench like the Death Star, then you plummet at hideous speed. Next woz Revolution, a pirate ship thing that I hated. Three times the harnesses went up and had to be re-set coz people fucked it up. Then some kid lost his bottle and we got delayed again (I wanted to jeer at him and call him chicken). The hanging upside down shit with only the harness keeping you in scared me poopless, and as it turned out was the most terrifyirizing bit of the day other than the huge volumes of fat blubbery tossers that abounded. I've never seen so much flab squeezed into lycra and shorts etc before. Then it was to our first roller coaster of the day. It’s the massive wooden rickety affair called the Grizzly, and it shakes you and vibrates you so that you get bruised and brain damaged. But I survived it with only minor terror, woohoo. We ate some overpriced shit food because the park won't let you bring any in. Then we went to Top Gun. Oh my giddy aunt. The initial plummet almost broke my mind, the sheer g forces it heaps on you makes you feel like your ribs are going to cave in. I shut my eyes with Erin and screamed like a bitch all the way through. The rest of the ride (corkscrews, loops and a few more plummets) is nowhere as bad as the start, but the savagery of it makes you think it will be. I think I'd have died if it had. So then, shaking, quivering, gibbering, we went on the Vortex, the ride where you're standing up. After the horror of Top Gun I was sufficiently attuned to the rides to take it with my eyes open, and I loved it. Next was a quick game on Star Wars trilogy, and then to Stealth, the new worlds only flying roller coaster thingy majiggy where you lay down. The queue was huge and in the sun so me and Erin skipped it. Took the grizzly again and went back on Top Gun, taking it with my eyes open and loving it. I think it was the best idea, Stealth would have snapped my noggin, I just wasn't up to cutting edge tech rides just yet. After a battle on the dodgems it was home in time for tea. The place plays all that old top ten eighties stuff, really weird, like being in my teens again. The speakers are everywhere, in trees, the floor, everything. Ain't it weird that the shite pop music from the eighties beats the crap out of todays crud. Stuff I hated back then is actually decent compared to todays chart busting puke. Also, it gets worse with time. New kids seem almost talented compared to the latest wank fest. Drop Zone was surprisingly empty of queue, and then I recalled why because someone died on it a few weeks ago when their harness broke and they got to freefall with everyone else and then impact on the concrete. Turns out later we discovered it was some mong kid who climbed out of his harness. Hey, the world feels lighter, did we just lose a moron? The only thing that annoyed me other than the heat and the twats who were staring at me like I had nine butts or something (even though the parents had colour coded kids dressed identically to them, I guess so they could distinguish their jelly brained wailing brat from all the other jelly brained wailing brats) was seeing stoopid teeny girls dressed like whores with tattoos and piercings. Fucking mainstream culture trivialising and making former subculture aspects mundane and trite fucks me off. What these gits would have sneered and derided a bunch of years ago is now utterly normal. Dammit. Anyway, there's me tale of PGA. Damn I must go again