If you have never been, or even if you don’t like Star Trek, STOP READING THIS AND GO RIGHT NOW! It is the most fun you will ever have. The ride is THE absolute shit!

You pays your fee to get in and they give you a UV sensitive stamp that is checked by sliding your hand onto a palm thing that pushes your fingers into the Spock salute thing. You can go through as many times as you like. Oh yeah, here’s the entrance. Next to the pool tables and in a total sci-fi wing of the Hilton.

A little further into the entrance.

After this the path takes you around a museum of stuff from the series and movies on one side, and a full timeline of all the star trek events and happenings (incorporating all the fudgey time travel stuff as well, which must have been a bastard to sort out). Things like Nomad, Kirk’s glasses and their pawn tag from Voyage Home. Outfits, gadgets, and of course a photon torpedo (no dead Spock inside though)

Then there’s exhibits of the races. Klingon, Ferengi, Cardassian, etc etc. Here’s us with the Borg, which is the last one before the ride entrance. The queue is brief and takes twenty or so people at a time, but because they are running three sections of it at a time, the queue is never more than eight minutes.

The Deep Space exit of the ride. I ain’t saying anything about the ride, save that it isn’t just some flight simulator, it embroils you in a full on story. Don’t let anyone tell you about, its sooooo much better as a surprise.

My dream women (Erin and queenie). Opposite is Quark’s bar. An exact replica! With Hamborgers, Blood wine and Romulan Ale. Well cool.

The gift shop at the end of the ride has wicked merchandise. Kirk’s original phaser and communicator going for lots of dollars, signed art, the Docs mobile emitter etc. Oh yeah and a football shirt for the Klingon Empire made for Worf.

Now standing in line somebody growls behind ‘What sort of camouflage is that! I can see you perfectly’. Turning around to give the bastard some shit I find this Klingon dude leaning over me. I can honestly now say I have had the bejesus scared out of me.

After taking the ride five more times in various seats, buying a Borg and Klingon teddy bear, keyring bar of gold pressed Latinum and some prezzies for mates we availed ourselves of the dollar Fosters in the sci-fi bar and the free meatballs.