If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with
something called labor!
Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer
your car. You get about the same results.
To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their
lives today.
The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they
are still on your side.
The best way to keep kids at home is to establish a loving atmosphere
and hide the keys to the car.
The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by
hot heads.
Parents are people who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board
newlyweds.
The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the
children are finally in bed.
Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters
and too young to borrow the family car.
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so
he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string: handy to have around
and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.
A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.
There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire
someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.
You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the
proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to
shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he
was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable
diseases and his mother's age.
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions
because they know all the answers.
An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small
children.
No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to
find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost.
Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.
