Tarelle had looked smug at that, but she didn't get off lightly either. She was lectured about harassing and goading witnesses, the Queen in particular, and she was also warned that her belligerent attitude towards the defendant was far too personal. Amara had finally told her, "If you cannot remain objective about this task, we will replace you with someone who can."

Thoroughly chastened, the pair had finally been allowed out of the Elder's chambers and free to plan their strategies for the morrow's continuation of the trial. Gabrielle knew that she had to speak to Xena to try and work out some plan of action. She would try to fudge her evidence as much as possible, but she didn't want her friend getting protective when Tarelle pushed her. Outbursts like the one that had ended the day's session looked bad and made true the statement that the Warrior Princess couldn't control her temper and resorted to physical argument whenever it suited her.

As she reached the gaol, she saw Ephiny approaching with a large covered tray. She stood and waited by the door as the Regent caught her up, "Thought you'd be heading here when the Elders got through with you," she grinned rakishly, "Get a spanking did you?"

"Ephiny!" exclaimed the bard, "We're all mature women, not children."

"Well did you?" insisted the curly haired blonde.

Gabrielle gave her a version of Xena's 'look', but when it made no impression on her friend, she sighed and conceded, "A verbal one."

"Thought so," she grinned, "C'mon, lets get this food into Xena. I've brought enough for you as well, I don't think either one of you ate much at lunch. Solari said Xena didn't touch hers."

Gabrielle scowled as she held the heavy door open so Ephiny could get in, - If I don't watch her, she really doesn't take proper care of herself, - she thought.

"Open it up Solari," she heard the Regent saying, as she hurried along the gloomy corridor to catch up, "Gabrielle's right behind me and I want them both to eat this while it's hot."

There was the sound of a key turning in a lock and bolts being drawn back. As the bard entered the brightly lit cell, her searching eyes soon found Xena sitting moodily on her cot. She was pleased to note that the broken manacles had been removed and not replaced.

Ephiny set the tray down on the bed and then gave the warrior and bard a stern look, "Before either of you starts yelling at the other, you eat what's on that tray. If you don't agree to that, I'll have Solari bring the guards in here and force feed the pair of you .. I don't want you collapsing in court from starvation." she warned. She got a scowl from Xena and grin from Gabrielle, but she also got their agreement.

The Regent left them digging into the large pot of fish stew and fresh warm bread, and knew that they wouldn't be able to resist the soft crumbly cheese that the bard adored, nor the fruit that Xena favoured, - Well at least they'll have full stomachs to argue on, - she told herself as she watched Solari swing the door closed and lock it tight.

"Hey, you're head of the guards, Soli, what are you doing pulling this duty?" asked the blonde intrigued, knowing that her guard captain had plenty of people she could assign the task too.

Glancing through the door grill at the two occupants, Solari sighed and shrugged, "Xena's got an awful lot of sisters ready to try something stupid against her. Poni, Malonda and me figured that the best way to avoid that was to make sure one of us was always around her."

"I didn't realise things were that bad," muttered Ephiny, annoyed at herself.

"Well you've had your hands full with Gabrielle and arranging the trial," soothed the dark haired guard captain. "Poni figured that no one was going to try anything dumb if the three highest ranking officers in the guards were on duty."

The Regent nodded. Technically, Solari and Eponin were of equal rank, Solari as Guard Captain, Eponin as Weapons Master, but everyone knew that Poni was a wily campaigner and probably had more influence than the Guard Captain. Solari didn't mind or care, she knew she still had plenty she could learn from the other woman, and they were firm friends. Malonda was their protege and head of the Scouts. The pair of them were grooming the younger Amazon to fill in where they needed someone they could trust and who thought like them.

- It seems to be working pretty well, - acknowledged Ephiny to herself.

"Eph, what do we do about Xena tomorrow? I know she's your friend, but honestly, we can't have a repeat performance of what happened today in court," Solari ventured.

"Have we got any stronger shackles?" she asked.

"Nothing that would hold her if she was determined to bust them," responded the other woman, "Honestly, Eph, if she wanted to break out of here, there's absolutely nothing we could do to stop her.

"I know," answered the Regent, chewing her lip. "Amara sent me a message just before I brought that food over here .. I haven't had a chance to look at it, but I'm guessing it's about the same thing. I'll go look into it and see what we can come up with. Have someone sent round to Vallis at the smithy. Tell her to stay put, that I'll have an all night job for her. Tell her she'll need a couple of her apprentices as well."

"Sure thing, Eph," responded Solari as she watched the Regent leave.

They had eaten in silence. Xena had a dour expression on her face, knowing that she was going to get a lecture from Gabrielle about letting her fight her own battles. - Well too bad, bard! - she grumbled at herself, - I'm responsible for this. If I hadn't let my anger and rage get a grip on me the attack on the village would never have happened! - She squeezed her eyes shut trying to visualize the events, piecing things together from what she heard in court. She shook her head in exasperation. It was like a thick blanket of fog lay over the events and nothing seemed to shift it.

"Hey?" Gabrielle asked softly when she saw the looked of strained concentration on her friend's face.

Xena's eyes snapped open and she read concern in Gabrielle's eyes, "Hey yourself," she answered trying to keep the angry anxiety out of her voice.

"Wanna talk about it?" probed the bard gently brushing a stray wisp of hair away from the deep blue pools that had an unusually lost look in them.

Fighting the urge to jerk her head away from the touch, any touch, Xena shook her head, "When do I get the lecture?" she asked with a slight quirk to her lips as she sought to change the subject.

"What lecture?" questioned the honey blonde, a frown creasing her brow as she wondered, - Should I let her get away with avoiding my question like that? -

"The one where you tell me to let you fight your own battles .. that you're a grown woman and not a little girl any more .. that I could have gotten myself killed .. you know, that one." supplied the warrior with a lopsided grin.

"If you know what I'm going to say, then there's no need to say it," shrugged Gabrielle, deciding that she was far more concerned about what it really was on Xena's mind, "Now just what is it that's really bothering you?" she asked insistently.

Xena arched an eyebrow at her and growled, "You're not going to let this drop are you?"

"Nope. I'm your advocate, and I need to know what's going on if I'm going to get us out of this," she persisted.

Letting out a long sigh, and giving a small shrug, the Warrior Princess looked away from her friend and said softly, "It's really frustrating, Gabrielle. I listened to the evidence in that court today, and none of it was familiar. It was like I was never there." She looked absently at the wall as if willing the scene to be played out there for her, "I know it's me they're talking about. I remember all the anger, rage and frustration I felt after we .. after Solon ... well after that everything seems to get foggy."

"Xena," the bard spoke gently, "I know it's hard, and we've avoided talking about this because it hurts, but it's important we know now. Just what did you do when you left the centaurs?"

"Do?" she ran her strong fingers through her luxuriant black hair, "Gods, Gabrielle. I don't know. I think I just went off to mourn somewhere."

"Try to remember, Xena. It might help us sort out why you don't remember coming to Themiscyra and what happened here," pressed the blonde Queen carefully.

Chewing her lip, Xena tried to take herself back to the time after the funeral pyres, "I .. I left the village, and travelled north," her brow wrinkled in concentration as she struggled to replace missing time in her mind, "It was cold. I re .. remember snow? A mountain?" She shook her head in frustration, "Gods, Gabrielle," these could be memories from any time!"

The bard looked at her with pleading eyes, "Keep trying, Xena. I know we're getting somewhere. You just have to keep trying."

The warrior pulled in another deep breath and concentrated on the cold, on the mountain, on the snow, "My heart felt as if it had been shattered then crushed," she said in a small quiet voice, the pain of the memories was causing her head to hurt, and it almost felt as if a wall had been erected around those memories to keep her out.

Concentrating hard, sweat beginning to bead on her brow as she fought the building pain and hammered against the stubborn wall. "I found the highest place I could to sing Solon to rest, but my song was filled with the screams of my soul. I was alone again, everything had been a betrayal, I'd lost my son and my best friend ... and ... and then," her eyes snapped open full of fiery rage.

"What?" demanded the blonde anxiously, "what happened, Xena?"

"Ares," the warrior breathed the name like a curse, "Ares came."

Images now flooded into her mind. She felt again the crushing ache that she had felt upon that frozen mountaintop and she knew that Ares had worked on that, on her maternal instincts and the hate that had sprung up, like black bile, to infect her mind, her whole being! He had twisted the knife with the delicate precision of the master tormentor that he was, and she had responded with the murderous rage that had needed Gabrielle's blood to satisfy it.

"Xena?" there was a worried edge to the bard's tone, "What about Ares? What did he do?"

Turning her haunted gaze back to the Amazon Queen, the warrior said in a whisper almost too soft to hear, "I'm so sorry, Gabrielle .. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," the bard tried to soothe her, "It's over, I forgave you long ago."

"I never realised," the dark haired woman choked, "I didn't remember." A single tear rolled down her cheek, "How could I have done that?"

Trying to turn Xena's thoughts away from the harrowing personal attack on her, Gabrielle attempted to get her to focus on Ares, "What happened with Ares, Xena. What did he say? What did he do?"

And so she told her. Haltingly and with much pain filled self-recrimination .. she told the bard all of it, and felt the full weight of what she had done slam into her with a sickening reality that burned her fragile soul.