G: You know, Xena, it's been a long time since we did something crazy.

X: Uh-huh!

G: You know ... like going to a market and just spending dinars on frivolous things.

X: (Remains silent)

G: Or even tried to stop a marauding army with nothing but a cartload of fish.

X: (Slight smirk)

G: Or even follow the path of love.

X: Now that was truly crazy.

G: Xena! I'm being serious here.

X: No you're not. You're working up to something you know that I'm not going to want to do.

G: Sometimes you're no fun!

X: Oh, c'mon Gabrielle! You know better than that! ... I let you play with Argo.

G: Only because she always wins.

X: And we have lots of fun fishing.

G: You have fun (emphasised with a pointed finger) I usually spend the next two days trying to get fish scales out of my hair!

X: Makes your hair look kind of sparkly (grin).

G: Oh and don't forget the scent .. Au de fish is so becoming!

X: (Muffles a laugh with a cough). I let you play with my flying parchment.

G: The last time you nearly drowned me playing with it! Just so you could catch some stupid fish!

X: (Throwing hands up) Okay! So what's this crazy thing you want to do? ... And it better not be anything to do with shopping! Something always goes wrong when you shop!

G: Like what? (exasperation in tone).

X: Well there was that problem where we met Palaemon. I ended up blind and you ended up married to a corpse and almost cremated.

G: True, but ....

X: Then there was that time when you were sizing up tomatoes and got Salmoneus thrown in gaol.

G: Yes but that was ....

X: Or the time that I sent you out with our last dinars to buy much needed equipment for a mission and you came back with a donkey.

G: Oh c'mon Xena! It was Solstice! I couldn't let Tobias be taken to the tanners to be kil ....

X: Then of course there was that time you went to buy some fishcakes ...

G: You're enjoying this (said with a wry smile).

X: ... and managed to start a full scale riot in the market place. G: Okay ... okay! I get the point. No shopping! But can we do something else?

X: What had you got in mind?

G: Well ... we're awfully close to a little village called Boise.

X: Yeeees! (suspiciously).

G: Could we go for a visit ... please Xena ... pretty please?

X: No shopping? G: I swear ... no shopping.

X: What are you up to Gabrielle? (with a mock scowl).

G: Who me? Why would I be up to anything?

X: Because there's usually only two things that draw you into nameless little villages ...

G: It's got a name.

X: ... one's shopping .. the other's a bard's competition. Since you promised no shopping (looks hard at G) You did promise no shopping, right?

G: No shopping. (nodding in agreement).

X: Then it must be to do with bards.

G: There's no bards competition either, Xena.

X: So why do ya wanna go?

G: Well .. a couple of new bards wrote to me.

X: (Throws her hands up) I knew it! Bards!

G: No Xena! Nothing like that. Power and Scribe just wrote to me about a young friend who has a birthday coming up.

X: Great! Just great! And what exactly do these bards write about?

G: Ummm ... (mumble)

X: Would you care to repeat that, Gabrielle?

G: They write adventure stories.

X: And? (pointedly).

G: And what? (purposefully obtuse).

X: Who are the adventures about, Gabrielle?

G: (mumble)

X: Say again?

G: You! Alright I admit it .. they write about you .. and me and Hercules and all our friends ... satisfied.

X: No.

G: No as in what?

X: No as in I don't want to go.

G: But Xena .. the girl's one of you biggest fans.

X: I'm not into fans, Gabrielle .. I'm into mortal combat.

G: Yeah, yeah .. I know. Kick butt and take names later. Well can we just for once do something that doesn't involve disembowelling someone.

X: Gabrielle! (complaining)

G: Just this once Xena ... I promise I won't ask again .. and we're almost there.

X: Well!

G: Puh-leese!

X: Well .. alright ... what's her name so that I can do this right?

G: (whisper)

X: As in manic, fair and would be godly?

G: (shrug) So I'm told. Seem's she's got a connection to Velasca .. a distant one though. X: Are you sure about this?

G: Yeah! I'm sure .. besides this his her door. Can't back off now it would look silly!

X: Well if you say so.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

L: Can I help you?

X&G: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LASCA!