Chapter Four: Realizations
"This is yours, Sorrow," he announced as he handed her a brass key marked with a room number. "I’m sure you’d like to freshen up before we eat?"
Sorrow blushed and glanced shyly at Iolaus before taking it, "Yes, I would - I hope you don’t mind waiting?"
"Of course not!" Iolaus quickly replied, prepared to give her anything she wanted - she had only to ask. Taking her cue from him, Sorrow smiled at them both, and with her new quarterstaff in one hand and the key in the other, she went away shyly to change clothes.
As soon as Sorrow disappeared into the hall leading to her room, Iolaus sat down at a nearby table as though some invisible hand was pulling him down to the bench against his will, only he didn’t - and really couldn’t - resist the force behind it. Hercules couldn’t stop himself from grinning knowingly at his friend as he joined him at the table.
"How about a drink while we wait?" he suggested to the love-struck, blonde hero.
"Huh, what? Oh! Sure, thanks," Iolaus answered distractedly, his eyes stuck watching the last place he had seen Sorrow when she had left their presence - the doorway leading to the rooms.
Hercules laughed slightly and ordered the drinks, becoming quite amused with his friend.
After a short while, Iolaus began to get antsy, and he turned to Hercules with great concern, "I wonder what’s keeping her? Sorrow should have been back by now - Do you think maybe we better go check on her?"
"Hey, wait!" Hercules reached across the table and grabbed Iolaus by the vest, pulling him back down to the bench. "She’s only been gone a few minutes, Iolaus. What’s going on with you?"
"I promised to protect her, Hercules," Iolaus returned with indignant seriousness.
"Iolaus, you made that promise ten years ago when she was a little girl!" Hercules reasoned. "She’s a grown woman now, and can obviously take care of herself - you, yourself, made certain of that! So, tell me - what is it that’s really bothering you?"
Iolaus opened his mouth to protest further, but closed it again in surfeit. There was no way to hide the truth from a guy like Hercules, so he relented and leaned in confidentially, "I don’t know how to explain it, Herc, but I still feel responsible for her somehow - I still want to protect her like when she was a little girl, but now I think it’s for another reason entirely. I’m almost afraid to even say it, but . . . I think I’m actually falling in love with her, Hercules!"
"Well, good," Hercules nodded satisfactorily. "Maybe you should think about telling her."
"Tell her!?" Iolaus echoed, his voice and face reflecting a sudden surge of panic. "Oh no, not me - I’m not good at that sort of thing!"
"You’ve never seemed to have a problem talking to women before," Hercules pointed out, his mouth trying desperately to keep from breaking into a full smile.
"Well, those were human women," Iolaus replied nervously, his eyes involuntarily returning to watch for her. "Sorrow’s a goddess, Herc - what could she possibly want from me?"
"The same thing you want from her, perhaps?" the demi-god suggested persuasively. "Gods are the same as humans when it comes to needing and wanting love, Iolaus. She deserves to at least know how you feel."
"Yeah, so she can put me out of my misery," glowered the love-lorn hero, and his friend finally could not keep from smiling and shaking his head in pity.
"Iolaus, she deserves the right to know so she can decide for herself what she wants. From what I’ve seen going on between you two today, I’d say you’ve got a pretty good shot at getting a positive response."
"Really?" Iolaus looked back at Hercules in surprise. "You think she would really go for a guy like me?"
Hercules smiled, "I think she already has." His eyes lifted from Iolaus’ face, and he nodded toward the door with a sense of pride. Iolaus tore around in his seat to see what his friend was nodding at, and was immediately rewarded with a most breathtaking view of Sorrow.
Sorrow blushed deeply when Iolaus saw her, and it only made her look more becoming. She had shed her green gown and black cloak for a shimmering white, sleeveless chiton with a long, flowing skirt and gold rope encircling the tight, fitted bodice. The brightness of the satiny material set off her iridescent skin beautifully, and she had pinned up her blue curls most alluringly. Her only decoration was a gold arm cuff resting just above the bend of her slender arm.
"Wow," Iolaus uttered involuntarily when he could finally speak. He then inelegantly scrambled to his feet to properly greet her. "Good evening, Sorrow."
"Good evening, Iolaus," Sorrow returned appreciatively and calmly. Inside, she did not feel nearly as serene as she appeared, and she was amazed at her own ability to maintain her composure. The very sight of Iolaus falling over his own feet to say hello to her was enough to set her heart to racing again, and she did not want him to guess that he was having such an effect on her. However, at this time, she considered what she felt to be nothing more than "hero worship", and was glad he could not tell how in awe of him she truly was.
Impulsively, Iolaus took hold of her hand and pulled her gently toward their table, somehow managing to also compliment her, saying, "You really look lovely tonight, Sorrow."
"Why, thank you, Iolaus," Sorrow brightened considerably, and willingly allowed him to guide her to the second half of his bench.
"He’s right, Sorrow. You really have grown up into a beautiful woman - er, goddess - whatever!" Hercules added with a laugh. "Truly, it seems like only yesterday that Iolaus and I were at the celebration of your birth."
"And what a party that was!" Iolaus chimed in, having been the only human allowed at the event, by decree of Zeus. "Every god and goddess of Olympus was there!"
Iolaus continued on, entertaining Sorrow with the funny details of that long-ago event hosted by her godly parents, but Hercules had fallen pensively silent again. After having mentioned the party, the memories that accompanied that moment in time began trickling back to him involuntarily, and one of those returning memories caused him to worry anew. It had to do with a vague recollection of overhearing a discussion amongst his brothers and sisters that Sorrow was supposed to do something when she achieved an adult age. That was today, but Hercules could not remember what it was that she was supposed to do, and he could only wonder if she was with Iolaus and him now in an attempt to escape that rumored destiny.
However, he knew better than to question her about it all again. Sorrow had already let him know that she had every intention of carrying out whatever mission she was on, and she had no qualms whatsoever about doing it all on her own if necessary. Hercules didn’t want to scare her away, especially after seeing how close she and Iolaus were becoming. He harbored a faint hope that the attraction would influence her to at least tell Iolaus what was happening to her, and then maybe they could really help her. In the meantime, he and Iolaus could only continue to protect her until they got her to Iolkos, as promised, and hope that trouble wasn’t following too close behind.
"Hey, Herc!"
Hercules fell out of his concerned reverie to see Iolaus waving his hand at him, and answered, "Yes, Iolaus?"
"How about we order some food? I’m starving!" Iolaus proclaimed.
Sorrow suddenly turned to Iolaus and asked plaintively, "Please, what’s it like to starve?" Her voice was filled with the kind of seriousness that almost always accompanied her inherent sadness, and the sound of it almost broke their hearts. "So many suffer it, and while I feel the sadness and desperation caused by it, I cannot comprehend what it is to actually starve."
Hercules and Iolaus both looked to the other helplessly, each unsure how to explain starvation to a goddess who had never known hunger, and had never lacked for anything that she could not provide for herself. It was a concept that she could not possibly begin to understand as a goddess.
"Is it that awful?" Sorrow’s voice became small and hollow as she contemplated how horrible starvation must actually be, if they were so obviously hesitant to explain it to her.
Reluctantly, Iolaus advised sincerely, "Sorrow, you don’t want to know what it’s like, believe me. Knowing it won’t make your job any easier on you - in fact, it will most likely make it worse."
Sorrow started to protest, but Hercules interjected, "Iolaus is right - starvation is just one of the many things that create sadness in this world, Sorrow, and knowing about it will only make you unhappy that you cannot stop it from happening."
"But, how can I truly serve mankind if I do not understand what causes their sorrows?" Sorrow begged to know. "My tears are but empty gestures if I don’t know what starvation is, or death, or any other cause of their grief!"
Iolaus looked to Hercules sheepishly, "I hate to say it, but she does have a point."
"She does, at that," Hercules nodded in agreement. "However, I’m not exactly sure how we might teach you these things, Sorrow. Really, the best way I’ve found to understand the needs of human beings is to live among them, as you are doing now, and talk to them, get to know them as they are year-round. You’ve been there for them when they were sad, but you’ve never met them when they are happy, and perhaps that’s the best way for you to understand what they go through when that happiness is threatened or taken away?"
Sorrow nodded slowly, intensely thinking over Hercules’ idea. She looked at them both, then at the people who filled the room of the inn. Most were eating and drinking with great relish, enjoying their evening at the cozy inn, and she could sense the contentment of many. It was a good, solid feeling that caused her no distress, and she could see no reason why she could not experience a little of their joys while she lived among them for this little while. Finally, she said, "Perhaps you are right. Maybe just being here now, with you and Iolaus, and among these other people, is a lesson in itself. I shall be certain to pay attention and see what I might learn."
Hercules smiled with renewed pride, "That’s my little cousin!"
Iolaus laughed, "She’s not so little anymore, Herc."
"No, she’s not," Hercules replied, most specifically and pointedly at Iolaus. Iolaus shot back a slight glare that half-warned, half-begged his friend not to reveal his secret. Hercules gave Iolaus a sly look that left the blonde hero wondering what the demi-god would say next.
Although she had never needed to eat in her entire life, Sorrow was anxious to begin her adventure in the human world, and eagerly ate the lamb stew and drank the wine they were served by the owner of the inn. Having tasted only Ambrosia in her lifetime, she was excited to sample the earthy flavor of the hearty stew intermingled with the sharp sweetness of wine. Had she been human, the amount of wine she consumed would have left her sick and hung-over the next day, but with no such fear necessary, Hercules and Iolaus indulged her desire to explore humanity. However, after a few hours of eating, drinking, and hearing about their adventures, Sorrow finally had to allow a yawn that announced that she was quite tired.
"I think someone needs to go to bed. Would you mind walking Sorrow to her room, Iolaus?" Hercules asked nonchalantly, watching his friend give him a sharp look until Sorrow agreed.
"Yes, please do, Iolaus," she asked sweetly, and he instantly forgot to be peeved with Hercules.
"Sh-sure!" Iolaus stammered, almost knocking over the bench in his eagerness as they both stood up. "I’d be glad to see you to your room!" Sorrow smiled and blushed at his bumbling exuberance as she took hold of his proffered arm and allowed him to walk her away from the table.
Hercules watched them walk away, and seeing the careful way in which Iolaus dealt with her, he just knew his friend had completely fallen under Sorrow’s gentle spell. Of course, he realized that it was a spell she’d had over him since she was a little girl, but Iolaus was apparently no more able to resist her, or deny her, now than he had been then. However, Sorrow’s future was so indeterminate at the moment that Hercules feared his friend would end up hurt in the deal.
Anytime the gods came into play in his life, Hercules knew to expect trouble to soon follow, but little did he expect what form that difficulty would take. In this case, it appeared in the form of Ares, who unexpectedly materialized in the midst of the inn not long after Iolaus and Sorrow disappeared. He was invisible to all but his brother, who recognized him before he even fully saw him.
For Ares, this was the fourth or fifth inn in the area that he had checked since sundown. He had checked the forests outside the village fruitlessly, and was now sure that she had done as he had suspected earlier - hidden among humans. So, he began looking into each inn at the village and in the surrounding area on the chance he could catch her masquerading as a human.
With his back to Hercules, Ares did not see that his brother - and greatest nemesis - was in the building until Hercules called to him, "Hello, Brother!"
The sound of the demi-god’s voice ran up Ares’ spine, and he felt a vein begin to throb mercilessly in his forehead as he cursed silently, - Damn him! - He slowly turned around to see Hercules sitting alone at a table with a suspicious smile playing at his lips.
"After the day I’ve had, why am I not surprised to see him?" Ares growled under his breath.
Both Iolaus and Sorrow were quite silent as they walked together through the dimly-lit hallway. After a day of non-stop chatter, suddenly neither could think of a single thing to say to the other. Both were now extremely nervous in each other’s presence, although for different reasons.
Despite Hercules’ encouragements, Iolaus kept telling himself over and over that he had no business even thinking of courting Sorrow. To him, she was so far above him, he couldn’t possibly expect to receive her heart in return for his own.
Ironically, on Sorrow’s part, she considered herself out of his league - first, in the fact that he was a great hero, and second, because he had such a great disdain for her kind. She took great comfort in the fact that he had made numerous excuses for her concerning that point of contention, but knew she would lose that invaluable support once he found out that she had lied to him about her purpose in being here with him now. A third factor also caused her to warn herself to be reticent with Iolaus, but she set that fear aside, knowing that she would surely return to Mount Olympus once this strange situation was resolved, and she would likely never see him again - except, of course, on those rare occasions when his sadness called her to be with him. Otherwise, she prayed she could get to Iolkos without anyone getting hurt - Iolaus most of all.
When they at last reached the door to her lodging, Sorrow turned to face him, "Iolaus, I wanted to thank you."
"What for? I haven’t done anything!"
"Oh, yes, you have," she assured. "You’ve taught me so many things every time we’ve met, and this time has been no different. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your help - especially today. I don’t know what might have happened if you hadn’t come along when you did!"
"You were doing fine on your own, Sorrow," Iolaus dismissed the idea. "I only jumped in because it looked like you were having so much fun!"
Sorrow laughed, "Okay, if you say so, but truly, everything I did out there was all due to you, and I thank you for training me to defend myself - and inflict maybe just a little pain along the way!"
"You’re most welcome," Iolaus grinned happily. "Like I said, you were a good student."
As they stood and stared at each other, a moment of awkward silence fell between them as they each fought an overwhelming urge to do something else. Iolaus wanted desperately to act upon that strong impulse, and Sorrow desperately wanted him to, but Iolaus was highly aware of Sorrow’s complete innocence in the matters of the heart, and that alone influenced him to restrain himself. Fighting his baser instincts, he moved to separate himself from her before he ended up on Poseidon’s bad list.
"Well, I’d better let you go get some sleep," he said sheepishly, taking reluctant, short steps backwards away from her. "Good night, Sorrow."
"Good night, Iolaus," she replied, a little disappointed that he hadn’t acted upon the obvious chemistry that was evident between them. "Thank you again for everything."
"Our pleasure," he replied, then added, "Oh! We’ll be right next door should you need us!"
"I’m glad to know that," she nodded, holding back a smile for his slow, backward retreat. "I will be sure to call on you . . . should I need you, that is."
"You do that - I mean it!" Iolaus lingered but a second more.
"I will. Thank you again, Iolaus. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Sorrow. Sweet dreams."
Iolaus stayed only a moment longer to be sure Sorrow’s door was closed and locked behind her before strolling happily back to the tavern. In his heart, he was almost certain that his desire for her had been mutually returned, and that in itself was encouraging, and as he walked along, he could almost picture how it would be in his mind’s eye.
He would finally give up this uncertain life he and Hercules had led so long, and he would marry Sorrow. He would take her to live on his family’s farm in Corinth, although he realized that he would have his work cut out for him when he got there. With his mother and stepfather still living in the main house, he’d have to build a home of his own for Sorrow, but he was strong and had really strong friends who would surely help. He would take up farming again, and together they would start a family. So certain was he of this that he made up his mind then and there to talk to Hercules about arranging a proper proposal that the Fates would accept. He was just about to turn out of the hallway and into the main hall of the inn to do just that when he overheard Hercules talking, and he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What brings you to these parts, Ares?" Hercules was asking, his voice exhibiting bemused suspicion.
Although Iolaus could not hear him, Ares answered back loudly in irritation, "What is this - a rehearsal for the Spanish Inquisition? I’ve already been grilled by that ditzy Aphrodite today, so forgive me if I forego this discussion?"
"Grilled by Aphrodite?" Hercules echoed in seeming disbelief. "If Aphrodite’s after you, you must really be up to something big this time, huh?"
Iolaus heard the mention of the Goddess of Love, and suddenly he was thrown back in time to an incident from Sorrow’s birth celebration that he had completely forgotten about - and Aphrodite was the key to that memory.
He remembered first feeling terribly insignificant and out-of-place at the event, being a human amongst deities he’d only ever heard about. Hercules had moved about the party easily, charming even his stepmother and eternal enemy Hera with a compliment, but Iolaus stuck to the corners of the room in hopes of never being noticed. However, he felt drawn to the little iridescent baby, and he eventually gathered the courage to approach the beautiful goddess Aphrodite, who was doting over the newborn daughter of Poseidon. He had barely come into her sight when she smiled happily and put the baby in his arms.
"Now, here’s destiny totally in motion!" she pronounced prophetically. "Who better to hold Sorrow than her future? Bitchin’!"
Iolaus, as an unsure teenaged youth, was completely dumbfounded in the Love Goddess’ presence, but obediently took possession of the delicate child, and was immediately taken with the tiny girl who lay in his arms.
However, that was not the only memory that came back to him. Iolaus also saw in his mind’s eye the replay of a moment that he’d witnessed involving Hera and an opinion she gave to Poseidon and Lachesis concerning which god Sorrow should be betrothed to, but he had not heard the name of the intended groom. The sudden presence of Ares in this particular inn, and on this particular day, made it clear that it was the God of War that Hera wanted married to Sorrow, and what was worse, he was there to collect his bride. Iolaus didn’t stay to hear any more of the one-sided conversation, but ran directly back to Sorrow’s room, intent upon warning her.
However, Sorrow had sensed Ares’ arrival long before Iolaus discovered his presence. Her hair felt like it stood on end when he materialized in the tavern, and it did not take her long to figure out that he had followed her there, and it took even less time to decide what she must do. As much as she loved traveling with Hercules and Iolaus, she knew now that the danger level would only increase with Ares hot on her trail, and she knew she could not allow them to pointlessly continue to try and protect her.
Waving her hand before herself, she caused her clothing to change back to what she had worn earlier, and the black cloak reappeared about her shoulders. Grabbing her new quarterstaff, she ran to the open window, and for the second time that day, escaped from Ares’ grasp.
Perhaps seconds later, Iolaus reached her door and began to knock lightly on it, whispering loudly, "Sorrow! It’s me - let me in!"
When he got no answer, he pressed his ear to the door to investigate further. No sounds whatsoever were evident from her room, and he panicked. Rearing back, he pushed his boot firmly into the door, and the rather flimsy lock gave immediately. The door flew open into the room, revealing nothing but darkness and an open window.
Sorrow was gone.
Iolaus ran to the portal in hopes of catching her before she got out of earshot. "Sorrow!" he yelled only once, fearing that Ares might hear him and come looking for the young goddess. Luckily, the war god was otherwise occupied with avoiding his half-human brother, but Iolaus received no reply to make the gesture worth the repeated risk.
Peering into the night, Iolaus looked to the ground for any sign of Sorrow’s impromptu retreat, and was rewarded with a view of a solid set of footprints just below the window where she landed when she vaulted out of the room. From there, faint traces led away from the inn and into the relative safety of the dark woods that surrounded the village.
Without a second thought to the matter, Iolaus hopped out of the window and began tracking Sorrow’s trail into the woods.