~ At least Xena accepts - and even appreciates - my talents, ~ he thought moodily, knowing that sooner or later, the "Big Guy" would have to get involved. As Curly was his best friend, it seemed pretty much inevitable.

Autolycus pushed the son of Zeus from his mind and returned his concentration to his immediate task of repeatedly throwing his trusty hook toward a branch on the next tree ahead. He then swung across to land neatly on the branches of the tree after that. However, as hard as he tried, he could not stop thinking about the contentions that could possibly arise from having himself, Hercules . . . and Xena . . . in the same place at the same time.

The thief needed no scorekeeper to tell him where he stood in such a lineup. He had shared far more than his body with Xena's soul - he had also shared consciousness with the Warrior Princess, and that had been quite enlightening from both sides. They both knew the other's secrets now, and he knew that Hercules was one person who would forever reside within her heart and mind.

Autolycus really couldn't blame her. Hercules was big - really big - and handsome, and the gods knew he was strong. Beyond that, he had a great personality and a morality streak a league wide, not to mention that he was generous to a fault. And, Hercules had gone to truly heroic lengths to convert a crazed warrioress that he'd had every good reason to despise, and even kill for the benefit of all Greece.

For that conversion, even Autolycus was grateful. He didn't think he could have admired Xena as the proud, but deadly, Destroyer of Nations nearly as much as he admired the beautiful, dark champion of the people who sought truth and justice in her quest for redemption. Sure, he crossed purposes with her from time to time, but they both knew they could count on the other when the going got tough, and they had done so time and time again. But none of this made him feel any better about being directly measured up against the demigod. He could only hope that he had earned as high a ranking in Xena's estimation as she had earned in his, and pray that would be enough to get him through the inevitable comparison.

With his thoughts to distract him, it took no time at all to reach the outer, recently rebuilt, walls of Amphipolis, and Autolycus looked over the rubble still left over from the battle that had been fought not too many moons ago.

"Damn, what happened here?" he wondered aloud, completely unaware of Xena's ongoing war with the various gods of Olympus and how it had nearly claimed the city. He had heard enough to know that Xena had given birth to a child with no father, but the thief had never really been one to listen to the news he might need to hear. He only took notice whenever gold, jewels, or any other precious items were mentioned. A battle over a baby - even Xena's baby - would have been dismissed early on, and indeed had been, because he did not hear Xena's name mentioned in time to catch his attention.

Autolycus' curiosity was short-lived, though, for his next thought was immediately centered on finding Xena. If he could just find her easily at Cyrene's inn, it would greatly increase their odds of making it back to the cave before nightfall, thereby absolving him of any further responsibility for the Goddess of Lamentation and her half-human baby. So as not to attract attention (in case word of his recent break-in had preceded him), Autolycus walked nonchalantly to the inn, and stepped lightly into the attached tavern.

He blinked several times to adjust his eyes to the dim light of Cyrene's establishment, and after a few moments he breathed a sigh of relief, for he could just make out the image of a short-haired Gabrielle. She was bent over a table, busily rolling up her scrolls and binding them, presumably for their purported trip to Egypt - a place the thief wouldn't mind visiting himself some day, especially its ruling monarch (who still owed him a favor or two, and he knew just how she might repay him).

"Gabby?" he called out tentatively, and the bard looked up instantly, recognizing his voice.

"Autolycus?" she rose to her feet instantly, and his eyes nearly popped out when he got an eyeful of her new leathers.

"Wow, Gab-Gabrielle, you're not a little girl anymore!" he stammered as she stepped toward him, almost embarrassed by her womanly effect on him. "Looks like you're really pushing the Amazon thing now, eh?"

Gabrielle blushed and smiled, "I'm afraid I haven't been a little girl in quite some time, Autolycus, and I am an Amazon Queen, you know, but thanks for noticing. It's been awhile!"

"It certainly has, though I do hear about you two - or rather, three now - from time to time. I even heard the craziest rumor that Caesar'd had you two crucified - can you imagine that!? But I see now that it's obviously not true. I didn't think he'd have the guts to try it again after showing him up in Rome awhile back!"

Gabrielle rubbed her hands together a bit nervously and looked downward as she spoke, "Well, we don't have the problem of him to worry about anymore . . ."

"So I heard," the thief nodded, mimicking the celebrated assassination of Gaius Julius Caesar by quickly raising and lowering his arm repeatedly as he stabbed the air with an imaginary knife. In the midst of his pantomime he easily noted that something looked wrong with the bard, and he knew he should ask why, but he really didn't have the time or the inclination to hash it out with her. He was there on his own mission, and he had to hurry. "Speaking of problems, I've got an Olympic-sized one at the moment. Where's Xena?"

"She's in the kitchen feeding Eve - I'll go get her for you - "

"Oh, no, that's alright!" Autolycus interrupted, moving quickly toward the kitchen door to intercept the bard. "I'd sorta like to tell her . . . by . . . myself."

"O . . . kay" Gabrielle agreed half-incredulously, half-bemused. She could see how much he wanted to see Xena by himself and meet Eve without outside interruptions, so she voluntarily went back to her scrolls til the dark warrioress came to tell her what the thief's problem was about. In return, Autolycus blew her a sarcastic kiss before ducking through the swinging door, and she just rolled her chameleon-blue eyes at him.

The moment he entered the kitchen, he came to a complete halt, as did his heart, for he immediately laid eyes on the Warrior Princess and her sweet, little baby girl. Eve was bibbed and seated in a rough-hewn high chair facing the doorway, and Xena sat with her back to him, a small bowl and baby spoon in her hands. Just looking at Eve's little round face and clear blue eyes, Autolycus could tell she was Xena's child, and it comforted him a great deal to know that she belonged to Xena alone. When he smiled at Eve, the little girl immediately brightened and reached toward the King of Thieves, and Xena's head spun around to reveal the ice blue depths of her eyes.

"Autolycus - I thought you were Mom!" Xena exclaimed in pleasant surprise. "Where'd you come from!?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you!" he grinned at her sheepishly, and was immediately taken by surprise himself when Xena set the bowl down on the table of Eve's high chair and uncharacteristically flew into his arms. The thief almost gasped as he instantly embraced her.

Autolycus knew that Xena surely only meant to greet him as warmly as she would have Hercules or Iolaus, or even Joxer, but he had never been fortunate enough to be included in one of her rare hugs, so he immediately began memorizing every brief second of it while squeezing his eyes shut to the world, reveling in the warmth of her arms. He then deliberately turned his face into the nape of her neck on the premise of sniffing her hair to memorize it, too, but she had also turned her head toward him to ask him how he had been, and to both their surprise, they found themselves with their lips extremely close to touching.

Dumbfounded by their proximity, their eyes searched the other's to determine just exactly what was happening between them at that moment, as it was fed by mere impulse to begin with, but Autolycus knew exactly what fueled his own actions. He loved her - she knew it, and he knew she knew it, so he wasted no more time wondering if he should or shouldn't. Taking his life and destiny into his own hands, he closed the space between them and pressed his lips to hers hungrily.

For the next few seconds, they embraced furiously as they kissed, and for a moment, Xena truly did not know what was happening, nor how it had come to pass. She had only meant to greet the master thief as the good friend that he certainly was - never had she thought she would be so embraced and kissed by him. Once upon a time, her first instinct would have been to plant her fist firmly in his face for taking such liberties.

~ But, who am I to complain? ~ she thought to herself as she continued to participate in the proceedings, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further. ~ Besides, he's good! ~

Just as his tongue gained access to the sweet depths of her mouth, the sound of metal clanging onto the wooden floor behind them caused them to immediately jerk apart, looking to see that Eve had flipped the spoon out of her bowl, slinging cereal all over herself in the process.

"Oh, Eve - what a mess you've made!" Xena scolded mildly, more amused than upset. Taking advantage of the distraction, she broke free of the thief's hold and went to clean up her daughter.

Only slightly disappointed (for he was too elated otherwise), Autolycus followed her eagerly, "So, this is the little miracle baby, huh?"

"Yes," Xena smiled proudly. "This is my baby girl, Eve. Eve, meet your Uncle Autolycus!"

"She's beautiful, Xena, just like her mother," he said warmly, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders. "Sometime soon, you're going to have to tell me the story of how you came by her."

"Oh, you know Gabrielle tells all the stories here," Xena half-smiled, completely surprised that Autolycus was continuing to pursue her, and even more surprised that she wasn't totally opposed to it. ~ Motherhood must be softening me up, ~ she thought wryly.

"I'd rather hear you tell it," he said, gently squeezing her shoulders affectionately. "But first, I'm sorta here on a mission of my own - "

"You?" Xena's eyebrow lifted in amusement as she turned to look at him, "On a mission?"

"Yes, me!" Autolycus retorted with more than a touch of irritated sarcasm. "The King of Thieves likes to do a good turn here and there every once in a while. And besides, there's a baby involved - "

"A baby!?" Xena suddenly turned grave and ultra-serious. "What about a baby?"

Mistaking her protective question for a bout of undue indignation and perhaps jealousy, Autolycus became quite defensive, "Now, hold on a second, it's not what you think! I didn't impregnate anyone - Iolaus did!"

"Iolaus?" the Warrior Princess echoed is complete confusion.

Autolycus laughed, "Yeah, that's what I said - I didn't think he had it in him! And you won't believe who he got pregnant!"

"Who?" Xena urged a bit impatiently.

"A goddess, of all people!"

"A GODDESS!?" she echoed in fear, but he took it as incredulity.

"Yep, Sorrow, Goddess of Lamentation no less," he explained. "I didn't even know there was a Goddess of Lamentation!"

Xena frowned and confirmed bitterly, "Oh yeah, there's a god or a goddess for practically every cause and occasion. How did this all come about?"

Autolycus knew better than to try and gloss over the truth of the situation with Xena, so he explained all that had transpired, from the rumor he heard to leaving Sorrow with Joxer in the cave half a day's walk from Amphipolis. Xena listened intently, folding her mouth particularly tightly when he happened to mention Ares' involvement, but she remained silent and listened intently as she continued to feed Eve.

"So, we need to find Iolaus before his baby is born, is that correct?" she finally surmised when he'd finished his tale.

"Yeah, and if you know me, I make it a point to not know where Curly is," Autolycus added, a bit shamefaced about deliberately avoiding his friend. "Do you think you can find him?"

"Very likely. I suspect he went home to Corinth - Hercules has been traveling without him for quite a while now, and this would explain why," Xena reasoned. "We'd better get moving if we're going to get there before nightfall - "

"Xena - where are you going!?" scolded the voice of Cyrene, who had just come through the kitchen door behind them in time to hear her daughter's last sentence. Her voice immediately turned welcoming when she saw the thief. "Autolycus!"

"Hello, Cyrene," Autolycus blushed, thinking of the kiss he'd laid on her daughter just minutes before. "I'm sorry to be asking Xena to leave again so soon, but it's sort of an emergency - "

"Xena's entire life has been one emergency after another," Cyrene laughed without humor.

"Don't I know it!?" Autolycus agreed with a nervous laugh. "I'm just lucky she doesn't happen to be pre-engaged at the moment."

"Oh, she doesn't?" Cyrene questioned Xena with a raised eyebrow, planting her hands firmly on her hips, and she asked indignantly, "I thought we were all going to Alexandria?"

"We are, Mom," Xena grinned sheepishly. "Just, Gabrielle and I may have to meet you there."

"Xena!" Cyrene scolded unhappily, for she hadn't been able to spend any real family time with her daughter and granddaughter during the past year or more. There was so much work to be done at the inn that she never had time to go visiting, and now she had gone to the trouble of having Toris come watch the place while she was gone. Xena knew how hard it was for her to leave the inn!

And never mind that the Egyptian gods had no grudges against the Warrior Princess and her daughter Eve, and that they could all get some rest and relaxation while they got acquainted and reacquainted without life-or-death situations cropping up at every turn. How danger and adventure always managed to find her daughter, and vice versa, she would never know.

"Please, Mom, can we discuss this later?" Xena put off her mother's legitimate arguments somewhat urgently. "Could you take Autolycus out into the tavern and get him something to drink? And send in Gabrielle - I need to talk to her."

"Sir, yes sir!" Cyrene saluted sarcastically, not at all pleased that her trip might be postponed indefinitely, or infinitely, despite Xena's promises to the contrary. "Come on, Autolycus - I'll treat you to some of the expensive wine your - I mean, my - diamonds purchased."

"It will be a pleasure, Cyrene!" Autolycus bowed graciously, but before he followed Cyrene out the door, he turned back and said quietly to Xena, "Don't take too long - I think she's about ready to pop any time now!"

Cyrene flashed a somewhat disturbed look back at Xena when the thief said that, but said nothing more as she continued to lead him back out into the tavern. As soon as they were both gone, Xena's mind raced, thinking of the situation and what it might mean to her in the long run.

The Goddess of Lamentation, one of the more minor goddesses of Olympus, was the daughter of a Fate and the Sea God, Poseidon. The tale Autolycus had told her made her soften a little toward Sorrow, realizing now why the young goddess had been particularly quiet during all the "Twilight of the Gods" mess. The girl had been taken prisoner not long after Eve's birth, and had not been around to participate in, or discourage, the events of the ensuing months. She likely knew nothing of Athena's attacks against them, nor of Ares' constant seduction of the Warrior Princess through promises of protection for herself and her baby - and Ares, who supposedly wanted to bear a child of his own with Xena, had been holding prisoner a goddess who was pregnant with another man's child. It didn't make sense.

However, helping a goddess and perhaps earning her favor did make sense, and that's what she explained to Gabrielle.

"Maybe if we help her, she'll be willing to help us in return - "

"You mean, maybe she'll be willing to help us, Xena - what if this is a trap?" Gabrielle questioned, suspicious of all dealings with the gods. "Are you sure you want to take that chance?"

"Autolycus says it's Iolaus' child, Gabrielle - can we chance that?"

"Of course not," the bard insisted, "but what about your child?"

"I'll send her on to Alexandria tomorrow with Mother, just as originally planned. They should make it to Egypt just fine while you and I handle this situation - "

"And distract the Olympian gods in the meantime?"

"Exactly. They'll think I have her somewhere near, when all the while she's safe, and we'll catch up with Mom and Eve later after we've presented Iolaus with a healthy child. As soon as you get your gear together and your horse saddled, I'll tell you how to get to the cave where Autolycus left Sorrow with Joxer."

"Joxer!?" Gabrielle echoed, her voice a strained mixture of every emotion she'd ever felt toward the bumbling, good-hearted - yet irritating - warrior. "I'd better hurry before he starts tearing water and boiling sheets!"

Xena only grinned at the comment as the Amazon Bard of Poteidaia stalked out of the kitchen, intent upon completing her preparations and getting on her way. Xena then turned to Eve, who had finished feeding herself by grabbing handfuls of cereal and cramming it into her mouth. It was a messy operation, but effective, and Xena hadn't the heart to be upset when she saw that her fresh-washed daughter now needed another bath.

"Mommy's sorry, Eve," Xena cooed as she began wiping the little baby girl down again. "We'll get you all cleaned up and dressed, and tomorrow, you and Grandmama will be going on a trip all by yourselves! Won't that be fun, Evie?"

Eve gurgled in reply, and Xena smiled at the big, ice blue eyes that gazed back at her so adoringly. Xena needed only small rewards such as that smile to make the fight for Eve's survival all the more worth it, and she knew that this time, she would never willingly give up her child without a fight to the death.

The very thought of fighting always brought Ares to the fore of her mind, like a recurring bad dream, and as she finished caring for her daughter, Xena tried hard to figure out just what he was up to. Gods, in general, did not take other gods hostage without good reason - even if those reasons might truly be misguided. Sorrow was not the first goddess to select a human partner to father her children, and Xena doubted she would be the last - it did not make sense that she should be punished for an indiscretion for which no other goddess had ever been made to suffer.

Autolycus had not mentioned why Ares had taken Sorrow hostage, and Xena suspected the young goddess had not volunteered that information to the thief. Nonetheless, Xena knew there was more to this situation than met the eye, and odds were, she would be facing off with Ares some time in the very near future.

The very thought of fighting Ares made her catch her breath, for something about him - his fury, his driven desire to get her back, the love he proclaimed for her, or the passion she felt whenever he was in her presence - drew her like a moth to a flame, and she so feared being burned. Thus far he had been on her side, but only if he could count on her to produce an heir for him - probably one of the vile Children of War that he'd tried to create with Hope, the ones the Oracles had all prophesied would ride with him one day. The thought of it made her feel almost ill.

And yet, the memories of those Morphean dreams - intense dreams of making love with him in the forest, literally feeling his lips on her skin, and essentially riding him into ecstasy - evoked such a response from within her womanly core that she could not help but almost gasp at the anticipation.

A moment later, she shook the lurid idea from her mind and looked to her baby daughter, quipping, "Mommy has got to quit daydreaming, Eve!"

Less than half an hour later, all three were standing in the front yard of the inn, holding onto the reins of their horses and being thoroughly scolded and admonished to take care of each other and stay out of trouble, and for the two warrior women to come safely on to Egypt as soon as possible.

"Yes, Mother. We will, Mother. We promise, Mother," Xena answered in order for all three, for Gabrielle had learned long ago to never interrupt Cyrene when she was on a roll, and Autolycus was sincerely dumbfounded to be included in her orders at all.

"You two girls be careful," Cyrene reiterated as she concluded her clucking, "and you, Autolycus, watch over them!"

"Yes, Mother," Xena answered again while kissing Eve one last time.

"Of course, Cyrene," chimed in Gabrielle, ducking in for her kiss to Eve.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Mom," Autolycus waved at her uncertainly, still dazed by his inclusion, and the three waved to both Cyrene and Eve as they prepared to part company.

"We'll meet up with you sometime tomorrow at the cave!" Xena called as she nodded toward the direction Autolycus had flown in from, and Gabrielle called back, "Okay, I'll be expecting you both, and Iolaus - be careful, Xena."

Gabrielle's warning had a strange tone to it that drew the attention of even Autolycus, but Xena waved her off quickly, not knowing exactly if the bard was warning her to watch out for Ares or for Autolycus, or both, but knowing they were what was meant. The bard grinned and obeyed, leaping up onto the back of her own burnished horse and heading out while Xena mounted Argo and Autolycus pulled himself up onto the back of a borrowed nag.

"Xena, are you sure you want me to ride this thing?" he asked gingerly, never having considered himself to be much of a horseman. The warrior princess refrained from answering, merely throwing him a smile as she clicked at Argo and shot off down the road, forcing him to follow suit, much to his chagrin.

Sure, he now shared her knowledge of horses, but he'd never really found much use for the beasts, preferring to take to the trees whenever quick travel was needed, if trees were available. So, he grimaced the entire time as he fought to keep from bouncing too much in the saddle and upsetting the horse.

"Ye gods, why me?" he grumbled.

"What!?" Xena pulled up and turned to him with a comically questioning look.

"Nothing," Autolycus waved and forced a strained smile, and Xena turned back to the road, suppressing a laugh at the King of Thieves all the while.

On to Chapter Twenty Two

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