CHAPTER 7

A NEW LIFE

Realizing the handle "divorcee" would be attached to my name by critical people who have never had a problem, or would not admit it, I would have to be brave. One thing for sure, in years to come not one thing would be heard in the ears of my kids from my lips. They would grow up and never hear any of the problems I had in Texarkana. They had seen enough and they did not need to hear it again, ever!

Many things had happened in the family that I had not done. It seemed some people thought, "do anything--live together, have affairs, but never be a divorced person." That is not the way I saw it.

In fact, years before, I knew of hush-hush in churches. My cousin, who was my age, who lived near Atlanta, Texas, who I played with at Center Hill while we were small, had a baby boy in Shreveport. The father was a married man, so my aunt and uncle wanted her to stay single and allow the baby to be adopted. The father was a member of their church. They were Pentecostal. The baby boy was adopted by a couple in the same church. Her boy was gone and she never had another boy. The whole affair was kept a quiet hush-hush. However, my grandmother knew all the cover up.

One day I pulled in some place on State Line Avenue, which separates Texarkana, Arkansas and Texarkana, Texas, after I had the attorney to free me. Our partner in the construction business was there. He said, "I really need to talk to you. It is like a matter of life and death." He said, "I have to go to Ashdown. You and Rick just go with me and leave your car here." Being the stupid trusting person I was, I picked up Rick and got in his car. He said we had to have this important business talk. He turned on some country road and I asked him where we were going. I said, "This has been long enough to talk. Let's go back." He pulled on this little road and said he had to drop something there. I opened the car door and got out. Rick had gone to sleep, so I got him, and I wanted to know what was going on. He opened the car trunk and I saw towels and a shovel and I thought, "What is he supposed to do, kill me or something?"

I started talking to him. I said, "Just before I left the house I called my neighbor, Bea Bea, and my long time friend, Joy, and I told them I was going to have a talk with you." Of course, I was just telling him this. He says, "You talked to Joy? When?"

I said, "Just before I saw you. I told her I was going to talk to you." Actually, I had just told her where I was going. When I told him that, he slammed the trunk. When I think of that now, I wonder if he was taking me out there to kill me.

I would always go with someone because I was afraid to be alone. March nineteenth, Bea Bea, Joy and I were out, and we stopped at the radio station for some reason. I really do not know why. I had been there many times before to run commercials for the construction business. That is when I met Pop. That is when our relationship began. From that time, we started to go together and have fun. Even then, we had to be careful because of death threats.

Pop and I would take the kids with us. During school hours, only Rick went. He always took his training cup. He had begun to want chocolate milk in it.

I began to attend a little country Baptist Church with Ruthie. I needed Christian love.

When Ricky was a year old he climbed up to the ironing board and knocked the iron on his hand. Pat had been ironing clothes and had stopped to hang them. The iron covered his little hand. He cried out and Pat and I ran fast, but it burned to the bone, leaving flesh on the iron. I rushed him to the emergency room. It took surgery and a lot of time in the hospital. They had to take skin over and over from his leg and build him a hand. He had a cast on his leg and lower arm and hand. After the hospital stay, there were many trips to the doctor's office. The doctor said his hand would be scarred all of his life. He never cried about it any more after it happened that day.

One day Bea Bea and Nick, Pop's first cousin, and the two of us went to some town in south Arkansas to Bea Bea's ex-relatives home. It was way back out in the country. It was the most country place I had ever been. The four of us started going out together. We started going to Shreveport and several places around there. Pop's only sibling lived in Shreveport. There was still danger, but at least now there was some fun in my life. Pop bought our rings before the divorce was final. It was the first ring bought and placed on my finger in my life. I felt blessed!

After I was wearing the ring and we were making plans, I was hassled. One day a guy who I had seen Herman with came to my door. I was alone. I stayed out on the porch. He began to talk and warn me, as a friend, he said. He told me to stay away form the disc jockey. It would not work. He told me in a year I would be sorry. I knew he was not a friend of mine and was there to harm me. I told him to get lost. At last I had someone to turn to.

Pop and I would go to Atlanta and all around. We would go to Shreveport and Marshall--here, there and everywhere. Usually Rick was with us. Then on November 1, 1958, in Marshall, Texas we made it legal. Then there could be no more bossing or stalking or window peeping or anything.

We moved to a house on Beech Street, in Texarkana. Then we moved to Dallas, and back to Bramble Street, in Texarkana. From there we moved to Chicago.

Pop and I were struggling in Texarkana trying to make a living on his KTFS salary. It was hard. The salary was low, and the family was large, and the bills were mounting. We started thinking of going to Chicago. Jean, my oldest sister, and I were corresponding, and she was trying to get us to come to Chicago. We decided to give it a try. Pop's dad had been paying our utility bills, but we could not continue to let them spend their money, even though it was voluntarily. He would see a bill on the refrigerator or anywhere and pick it up and take it and pay it. He always asked if we had any bills. So we decided to go to greener pastures. We would miss Pop's parents. They came over often. His dad loved to eat with us. He especially loved fried chicken. Pop would give up his eighty dollar a week job announcing and spinning records. I went to the Greyhound bus station to see Pop off. It was a sad day when we had to tell each other good bye. It was almost Easter. I was supposed to stay in Texarkana until June. He would be with Jean, her husband, Tony, and son, Michael.

The only person Pop knew in my big family was Hershell. I knew everybody in Pop's family. He was from a small family. My daddy and Hershell had been to Texarkana when I was in court in the divorce proceedings, but Pop never saw them. Hershell was the only one of my family that had visited me since Pop and I married. Hershell picked Pop up at the Greyhound bus station in Kankakee. Jean and Tony and Michael came to Kankakee and picked Pop up and took him to their home in Chicago.

We were writing daily. I decided to just go. I owed several payments on my car. Pop's father found out about it and paid it off. I took the kids and put them in the car and just took off. I noticed as I was going up the hill that the kitchen light was on. I thought, "Oh! well, we will be back soon." That was 1960. It was almost time for school to be out. We should have waited, but I just could not do it. Fearful thoughts ran through my mind. I was not sure of our safety.

From St. Louis to Chicago it rained probably the hardest I had ever seen it. I called Jean and Tony and they said they would meet us in Joliet. I did not know where Joliet was, but I said OK. Sure enough, they did meet us there. That was the beginning of our life in Illinois.

We had an apartment in a rather bad area, but we did not know it was bad. We were young and without fear in the big city.

Tony had several apartments, and he let us have the second floor of the one they lived in. We got out of the bad area within a couple of weeks. We moved to Avenue L in south Chicago. This is where we lived when Rick started kindergarten. He was so cute in his cap and gown when he graduated from kindergarten.

From Chicago, Pat and Paul went on a trip to Texarkana. From there they went to California. I was very upset and shed many tears about it. Pat came directly back to Illinois from California, but Paul went back to Texarkana. He returned to Illinois with his cousin, Roy. Roy did not think he would like Illinois, so he went back to Texarkana. I was happy they had a good trip, and had returned safely.

We moved to Kankakee. Pop was working in Chicago. He was driving back and forth to work, but he joined a car pool. He was working in a food warehouse. In August of 1960 he went to work at Ford in Chicago Heights. He was there for the next thirty years.

John F. Kennedy was running for president. Gary was going around town working for Kennedy. He really got in to politics. He was so cute. He was a little child who was acting grown up, and he was getting Kennedy a lot of votes.

Gary would take clothes to the laundromat on his little red wagon and do the laundry. He loved the laundromat. He had a ball finding change in the washers. He started then to sell Christmas cards and do various things to pick up money. During this time I kept Buck and Leroy, two foster children. After a few months we moved to a house on Eagle Street. While we were there my youngest sister, Barbara, started living with us. A few months later we moved to another house on Elm Street. We lived there a little over a year. We wanted to buy the house, but that did not work out. It was a beautiful place, but we did not get it. We wished it was close to Ford. We loved Kankakee. Pop's parents visited us there and they liked Kankakee. We were buying on contract, but we decided to build one close to Ford.

Kenneth and Mary, my brother and sister-in-law, came to Illinois from Biloxi, Mississippi. We had a lot of fun together. All of their stuff was in the car and they had nowhere to live. We had a large nice home with a beautiful basement. The basement had two large rooms, plus a bath and laundry room. We told them they could use it until they got a home. Kenneth and Mary were very young, with two babies. I got a surprise of my life. After they put all of their belongings in the basement, many huge Mississippi cockroaches started crawling all the way up the stairs. I almost had a heart attack. The bug exterminator could not even kill them. We had a major problem.

I went to work as a cashier in a restaurant called the Ham and Egger, and Kenny and Mary got a house next door to the restaurant. I would walk to and from work at night. There was no fear of this at all. Pop was working afternoons and I was working midnight shift. That way one of us was always at home. This stopped when we got Rusty and Dan, two more foster children. I stayed at home and took care of them.

While we lived on Elm Street in Kankakee, Christina, my niece, was born. Chris is one year older than our daughter, Susan. The two of them grew up together, almost like sisters.

It was a joy living in Kankakee. We would walk to Hershell's house. We would walk to the market, and many places. Kankakee was a pretty town. Walks were enjoyable. There were pretty houses and other buildings. Also, there was the river and nice parks.

While we lived on Elm Street, I lied to the family about Verlon, my brother, and Wendi, his girl friend. I told everyone that they got married in our house. However, I was only covering for them. They planned to get married because they were together in their own apartment.

When I lied about Verlon and Wendi getting married in our house, Verlon had asked if they could get married in our living room. Of course, I said "yes." We had a very pretty living room. One day he said the minister was coming to marry them. We waited a long time, and he never showed up. I told Verlon we were all supposed to meet Norm and Hershell and Mama and Daddy and several of the family. I said we would go on there and I would tell them you just got married. After that I never asked Verlon and Wendi if they did actually get married.

The next year, Anna May, Verlon and Wendi's daughter, was born. She was a beautiful baby. They bought a new house near Western Avenue. Pop co-signed for a lot of new furniture for them. That was the second time Pop had signed for someone.

When we lived on Elm Street, Rick was in the second grade. Paul had a girl friend in Baldwin Park, California. That is near Los Angeles. Paul and Pat had gone to California with their grandma Waters. That is when Paul met Ruth. I had never met the family. Paul had shown me pictures of them, but I had never met any of them. I wanted to meet Ruth's family, but Pop and I had never been apart long at a time. We decided to go. Rick did not want to go. He wanted to stay with Norm and Jeanette and their kids. Pop was to leave him at their house when he went to work. I planned to only be away over one week end, but would be gone two weeks.

Pat, Paul, Gary and I packed bags and headed for California in Paul's white, 1957 Chevrolet convertible. We all told Rick good-bye and left. Rick seemed to be happy with the arrangement. We were going to drive Route 66 to California. Before we reached Route 66, Pop caught us. He had Rick with him. Almost as soon as we left town, Rick had changed his mind. He wanted to go. Pop did not have time to pack anything. He just took Rick and caught us. We had to stop and buy clothes, because all Rick had with him was what he was wearing. Before we got a third of the way to California, I thought about calling Pop to come and get us all, except Paul. However, I went on, and we had a nice trip. We got a motel to sleep and rest and spend some time in Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was a pretty town, and was beautiful to see from the high mountain for hours before we got there.

We did some sightseeing on the way. We saw the Petrified Forest and made a trip to Las Vegas and Hoover Dam. To me, the mountains were frightening. At that time the highway had two lanes. I only stayed a couple of nights in California, and I caught a bus back to Kankakee.

In a suburb of Los Angeles I stood in line with Gary and Rick to catch the Greyhound bus. People were pushing and shoving and acting very wild. The bus driver talked smart to me. I was going to ignore him as a very rude and unprofessional bus driver. But my 17 year old son, Paul, jumped in by the bus door and grabbed the driver's shirt. He told him he was talking to his mother. As Paul drew back his fist, I grabbed him. He would have hit the driver in the nose. I was so afraid Paul would get in trouble. The bus driver apologized to me, and we were on our way toward Nevada. We stopped in St. George, and Salt Lake City in Utah and Cheyenne, Wyoming. It was a different route back.

While I was in California I saw Billie Jo and Sally. Sally and her family had moved to California to earn a decent living, the same as Pop and I had moved to Illinois. It didn't seem so long ago since we were in the big yellow house of many rooms and all of the kids were babies.

Pat visited Billie Jo after Gary, Rick and I left. She rode the bus back later. Hershell and I picked her up at St. Anne, Illinois. She was very dark from being in California.

When we returned to Kankakee, everything was OK. I had only been gone a week instead of the two weeks we had planned.

Patsy went to work as a car hop for Steak and Shake, a fast food restaurant. She made a lot of friends there, and they were all in and out of the house. Paul went to work at Ford. He lied about his age, because he was not really old enough to work there. He would use all of his check every week in the pinball machine at the Ham and Egger. Kenneth and Mary had moved next door to the restaurant, and they were a lot of fun.

Paul stopped working at Ford, and went back to California to see Ruth. Paul stayed in California, and he and Ruth became engaged. They got married in St. George, Utah. Ruth's parents went there with them. Neither of them had finished school when they married. They came to Illinois and lived with us awhile. Paul's job sent him to school. He completed a couple of years of junior college. They were both working, and got a nice apartment in Chicago Heights. It was good that Paul married Ruth. He was acting as a thirty year old, and he was only seventeen. He did all of the right things. He went to school and worked six days a week.

We decided to build a house. While it was being built, we rented a small house and stored our stuff, and lived in it until we got our house built. While we were there Bo, my cousin, and Martha, got married, and they came to visit us. While they were there, my brother Kenneth and his wife, Mary, came by. Mary said they had just been in a car accident and she had to go to the hospital. She said she believed she would eat first, though. She did eat, and was laughing and talking. We did not think she was hurt, by her actions. Martha still mentions that, and laughs about it. Mary was a lot of fun.

Martha likes to tell the story about how Kenneth and Mary went around the corner the third time before they could get someone to bump them.

This was a terribly cold winter. We were supposed to be in the new house by Thanksgiving, but the weather was so bad, it was February before we got in. It was so nice to be in a house of our own. This would be home for us for the next twenty five years. We had many experiences there.

Our house was so pretty. It sat at the top of a hill on a rather quiet street on one lot in Wood Hill. The street had not even been paved when we moved in. We spent that spring in the mud, and started to build a yard and decorate the house as we wanted it. Pop was still working afternoons, and I was running day and night trying to get everything together.

By this time, I had a lot of brothers and sisters in the area. Thanksgiving dinner would be at our house. We began to meet new people as the area started to grow and new houses were being built. We were the first people on the street, so we had the opportunity to watch the area develop.

We discovered blackberries and things growing around, because this had all been farm land. It was like being kids again. We would pick berries and walk in the woods.

Wood Hill soon had a newspaper. We were out, yet near the Ford plant. It was a very convenient place for us. We had a brand new house and things were starting to look good for us. The street was starting to build up and everybody got to know each other. It was a good place to live.

Gary graduated from grade school in Park Forest and moved to junior high school in Crete. The Beverly Hillbillies was a new program on television on Wednesday night. Gary's graduation was the first time Pat and I missed the show. It was our favorite television program.

Rick would go to Monee. He joined the school band there. Paul had gotten married and they lived with us awhile. He went to school and had a job. Soon we had the first grandchild.

Debbie Lou was with us all the time, and we all spoiled her. One day Paul told us they were going back to California where Ruth, his wife, was born. We had been keeping Debbie most all of the time, because both of her parents worked. I would hold her and rock her and talk to her and cry because I felt I could not stand to see her move away. I taught her the rag doll story and it goes like this. For Christmas, I want a big rag doll, one that's big and stout. So when that doll gets naughty, I can wear that rag doll out. Baby brother wants a monkey that climbs up on a string. Bring him a strong one, because he breaks every single thing. Mama and Daddy want a car, but they all cost so high. I know what would please them both, a great big lemon pie. Our yard man says there ain't no Saint Nick. So we'll put him in a stocking with a long, long paddling stick. Debbie would say "Single thing, single thing, single thing." She would say "Lemon pie, lemon pie, lemon pie. It was so funny. She could talk really well, but when she wanted a drink of water, she made a noise like running water.

After the kids left Illinois and moved to California our new neighbor across the street called and said to come over and have coffee with her. I did. We sat in her kitchen and drank coffee and talked. She told me to call her or come over any time. Pop would be at work and the kids would be at school and I was alone. Everybody was sad and really missed Debbie.

Pop was a bachelor when I met him: not a responsibility, not a worry in the world. He was a disc jockey for KTFS radio station in Texarkana. That was a top forty station in the fifties, when music was great. He was also a newscaster. He had his own apartment, drove a new car and wore flashy clothes. He was an only son, with a much older half sister. He had left home for college and work straight from high school. He spent several years in the United States Navy, and had received an honorable discharge.

In 1958 he had taken a family to raise, take care of and fully support. I had a court order for full child support from my ex-husband, but I would have had to go to court all the time. I knew I would never get support for the kids. I was always warned if I ever signed a divorce paper, I would never receive a penny of child support. I knew that when I did it. I never asked the court to collect one dime. I did not want one cent, anyway.

The kids did not get calls, cards, gifts--nothing. They never asked for a thing and never said a word about it. We never said a word about our Texarkana life. They never asked, and I never said a word about it. I was not obligated whatsoever. We were living a new life in a new place, in peace and happiness. We never dreamed there would ever be any kind of problem. We were in heaven. Those were fun times. Our first tears was our little Debbie moving to California.

While I was still in Texarkana my paternal grandfather Hawkins died. Afterwards, my paternal grandmother came often and spent time with me. Vivian is forty miles from Texarkana. She lived closer than any relative of mine, and she was getting old.

While we were building our new house on Landau Road in Wood Hill, near Chicago, my maternal grandfather in Alabama died. A couple of months later, Pop's father died. Pop's parents had recently been to visit us. We went to Wrigley field to see the Chicago Cubs and the St. Louis Cardinals play. The weather changed unexpectedly while we were there. We got an April snow. Pop's father got sick. By the time they got back home to Texarkana, he had pneumonia. We still had our house in Texarkana, and Pop's parents were taking care of it. After recovering from pneumonia he was mowing our yard in Texarkana. He lifted the mower and got a catch in his back. He was never well again. While running tests the doctors found he had cancer. We visited him while he was sick. The time came when we were called; it was only a few hours before the end.

We immediately left in the car for Arkansas. Pop had just gotten off work, so I was driving. I was in a hurry to get there. Pop was asleep in the passenger seat. I was driving fast and did not notice the red light on the dash. When Pop woke he said the car was burning up. I stopped, and the engine was awfully hot. The water pump broke and ruined the radiator. We had to be towed to a shop in Lincoln, Illinois. It was late at night by now. They repaired the car, but it took all of our money to pay for it. We drove back to Kankakee and got more money, and started our journey again.

While we were in Arkansas at Pop's parents house, Rick was playing with kids, and they were in a big porch swing. They were all swinging, and Rick fell on the concrete porch floor. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital in a town about seven miles away. The day of Pop's dad's funeral, Rick was in the hospital.

Pop's dad had lived in the same little town since he was a young man. He was a good Christian man. He had run a store for more than forty years, and was known by about everybody in that part of the country. He was 73 when he died.

We had just moved into our new house when we got a call that Pop's sister's husband had died of a massive heart attack. We had just seen him at Pop's dad's funeral. He was 47. They had four children. He left them well cared for, financially.

A few months later, Pop's grandfather, his only living grandparent, died. The next year the only grandparent I had living, died. That was my paternal grandmother in Vivian, Louisiana. It seems they all went together. All in just a few months.

Now my grandparents were all gone, never to be seen again in this life. It seemed yesterday I was a child and had them all. I felt blessed I had grown up knowing all my grandparents. So many people never knew any of their grandparents. I knew where all of our family members were.

We got one week vacation those first years we lived in Illinois. I would wash and iron and pack our clothes for vacation. We would take the kids and go somewhere we had never been. These vacations took us to places like the Everglades and Key West, Florida. One year we went to the Worlds Fair in New York City.

We went to Getttysburg and Washington, D. C. One year we went to California. We would leave as soon as Pop got home from work. We always enjoyed our vacation time.

Before Pat married, Barbara, my baby sister, lived with us. Pat and Barbara shared a large bedroom that was designed to be the master bedroom. We had taken another bedroom that I preferred. It had windows to the side and the back yard. Patsy and Barbara were close. They were working at the same place, and Pat had a nice car, a red Ford. Barbara had gotten Pop to co-sign for her to get a brand new Plymouth Fury. James, my oldest brother, came to Illinois, and Barbara moved with James and his friend, Robyn.

Paul would go to their house on the week-end and he was losing all of his money playing poker. My brother, Norman LaHue, said they must be cheating him. He said he would go with him and they would catch them if they were. The next week-end Paul and Norman went to play poker. They both lost their money.

We had refused to make the payments on the car for Barbara. The next thing we knew Pop's check at Ford was stopped for the payment. We did not get enough to buy groceries. Rick would often eat oatmeal for breakfast and supper. We borrowed money to hire a lawyer in Joliet to clear it up. We had to have our money. Twelve-hundred-dollars had been held out of our checks before we got it straightened out.

Patsy and her friends were going often to swim in Kankakee. Pat met Doug, the man she later married, on one of those trips. Doug was coming to see her. Pat was over twenty one, but no mother wants her daughter to leave home. Doug was working construction near Kankakee. He was from Naples, Florida. Patsy and Doug got married in Chicago, and moved to Ohio.

We made trips to Ohio and Michigan to visit them. When they lived in Kalamazoo, Michigan, Pat had two beautiful Siamese cats that she adored. Those cats were very smart.

We made several trips to Texarkana. On one trip we took the little girl who lived across the street, with us. We had her and Rick. We stopped at a motel in Forrest City, Arkansas for the night. Rick wanted to stay in a motel room upstairs, but she did not. We stayed on the ground floor. That was a disappointment to Rick. We had to put a suitcase in the center of the back seat because they could not get along. They could not agree about anything.

That year my friend, Joy, went with us from Texarkana to New Orleans. She left her kids with her husband. We went to visit Pop's former landlady in Natchitoches, Louisiana. We visited my brother, Kenneth, and his family, in Slidell, Louisiana. Pop left the motel one Sunday morning to get something for our breakfast. He ran into the back of a station wagon at a stop light and messed up our Cadillac. We were able to drive it, though, and we continued to New Orleans and drove back home before we had it repaired. On the way back we almost got hit by an ambulance.

We stopped one night at a restaurant in Delhi, Louisiana. This was a tiny place and this was the only place open. I was afraid to stay there because I had heard stories about the Ku Klux Klan, and we had Illinois plates on our car. We started talking to the restaurant owner, and he assured us that nothing bad would happen to us there. He was right. All was fine.

When we got home on Labor Day week-end, the state was looking for us. This started a job that lasted for twenty-six years and three-hundred-eighty-nine kids. Gary's high school girlfriend became my baby sitter for four new foster children. She and Gary were very serious, and in love. When they broke up, Gary got a bottle of whiskey and came home and went to his room. We did not know it. Doug, Pat, Ricky and I were sitting at the dining table talking. Much later Pat said, "Wonder what Gary is doing in there so long?" She and I went to his room. He was on the bed as though he was dead, and the empty bottle was on the floor. He had drunk the whiskey straight. Gary had never had a spanking in his life, and had never needed one. Rick, however, got grounded a couple of hours or for a whole day quite often. Gary's shoes were on the floor. I picked up one of them to spank him. He was eighteen years old. Patsy said, "Do it". I gave him a paddling with the shoe on the butt. He sobered instantly and jumped up hugging and hugging me saying, "Mother, you spanked me." He was shocked. Pat said it was because he never had a spanking.

I tried to think if he had. I could not remember Gary ever getting spanked. He almost got one in Kankakee State Park when he and Barbara got into a fight, but I couldn't remember. I guess I didn't think he should.

We walked back to the kitchen and Pat was telling Rick and Doug what happened. Rick said, "Man, I would be in shock, too." He said he wondered how it would feel not to have ever been in trouble. Doug started laughing at Ricky until I wondered if Doug would ever stop laughing.

John and Jane built a new home on our street. Jane closed up the garage and put in a beauty shop. In 1968 I was there, and the kids and Pop were at home. Several of the ladies from the neighborhood were there. I had a strange feeling that day, for some reason. I got up and looked up the street toward our house. I told the women I did not know why, but I had a feeling that something was wrong at my house. One of the women said she would walk down to the house and make sure everything is OK.

When she came back, she told me that something really was wrong. I asked if the kids were OK. She said there is nothing wrong with the kids, but something is wrong. She said Jack (Popy) wants to tell you. I named everybody I could think of, and she said they were all alright. As I entered the front door I was yelling, "What is wrong?" I said, "Is anything wrong?" I wanted to know how bad. Could it be as bad as could be, I said. Pop said, "Yes," and I asked, "Who?" He said "It is your dad." He said my dad because at that time my mother was still alive. I learned there had been a wreck on Spruce Pine Mountain. I began to yell and scream. Of course, by now the phone was ringing, and someone told us my mother was still living, but we would have to get there soon if we wanted to see her. Also, my sister's baby girl had been killed, and my sister was in the hospital with her other children.

We all made plans and left for Alabama. Our pastor, Sam and his wife, Shirley, said they would keep the kids for us. My mother lived until all of the children got there. Soon after the last one saw her, she died. That was a horrible time, and was the worse time we had had to face in our lives, at that time. It seemed nothing could be so awful.

We checked into a motel across the highway from the hospital. My Mom lived a few hours after we all arrived. I had heard my mother say many times, her wish was that if daddy died before her, she would want to die and go with him. And she did. Arrangements were made for them to have a double funeral in a church my dad had established.

They were not kept in a funeral home, but in my grandparents' house where my mother's only brother lived. Irene and Susie still lived in the same house next door to my parents, as they did when we were babies.

My parents had been many places in different states. They had moved back to the little house my granddad and my dad built when we were all babies. It was the house where Faye was born and died. Where I sat under the hedge watching school kids before I was old enough to go to school. They ended their lives where they began as a very young couple.

I walked in the house and looked where we lived as babies. The windows and bare floors were spotlessly clean. Not one thing was out of place. I thought about my Mom's last words that I heard on Wednesday, before the accident on Friday. She left Illinois to return to Alabama by train. She wanted to get back to daddy. She said he wasn't well and he needed her. Jean had driven her from Chicago to Hershell's house. She was to spend another week, but decided to go, although I begged her to stay. My brother, Hershell, and Pop and I drove her to the Homewood, Illinois train station. She stepped up on the train steps as she was entering the door to the train car. When she looked at us and said two words--"Bye children."

After the funeral we all left Alabama and traveled back home. We all were trying to get our lives back together and go on with all of the things everybody has to do. We had the foster kids and we were enjoying them. Rick was a big help with them. He enjoyed doing things for them.

Shortly after this we bought a Starcraft camper. I really was not into camping, but it was fun. We had a beautiful white poodle. We would take her and the foster kids and the camper and go places and enjoy ourselves. It was a lot of fun for us and the kids.

The night Gary was to graduate from high school, Ricky had to go to the hospital. He had been with his best friend, Benny, most of the day. They had been in the woods with some more boys. When Rick got home it was his night to do dishes. He ate and did the dishes, but he had been rather quiet. Benny's mother called and asked if Rick was OK. Benny had told her that Rick got hurt. It seems the boys had all been in the woods and had made a swing to swing from one tree to another. When it was finished, Rick was going to try it. The rope on the swing was too long, and he hit the ground. He came home and did his chores and had not mentioned it to anyone. After hearing about the accident, Pop took Rick to the hospital, and they said he had a slight concussion. He did not remember coming home or anything about the evening. The foster daughters went to the graduation with me, and Pop and Rick came there from the hospital.

Often the California kids would come back, and we would have Debbie back for awhile. Soon, Debbie had a sister and Pat had a daughter. We would take the camper to a state park near where Patsy lived. We enjoyed camping and being with them.

Pop, Ricky and I took a train trip to California when Dawn was born. Dawn is Paul and Ruth's second daughter. The train trip was a super vacation.

I would never sail or fly. I wanted to keep my feet on the ground. The only airplane I was ever inside was beside my Alabama grandparents home in a field. It was the first one I ever saw. It was tiny and came to Spruce Pine to take people on short trips for a fee. I got in, but refused to go up. At that time, in the late thirties, I was small and the plane beside our house was a big event to me. However, I always loved train trips.

The train was the Santa Fe's El Capitan. It had everything a train could have. Pop and Rick would have preferred to fly, but not me. We were allowed to get off at some points to sight see. We stopped in New Mexico at a souvenir shop. The items were hand made by Indians. The train on the mountain curves in the west, such as in Colorado, is a breath taking experience. God's nature certainly gives you faith. Paul picked us up in Pamona, California.

Dawn was a beautiful baby. We made calls back to Illinois often. We had a couple from the church taking care of the foster children. Gary was old enough to stay home while we were gone. In California the three of us and Paul and Debbie went places. The five of us went to Disneyland. Pop, Rick and I went many places. We took a Hollywood tour. We went to the Farmers Market, the Chinese Theater and many other places. We saw several movie stars' homes. While we were there they had a small earthquake. That was quite an experience.

Traveling back to Illinois was a vacation within itself. The rest of the family was very thrilled when we returned. Susan would always run to me and hold on to me as if she thought I might get away. She had stayed with a friend of ours, Pearl, who Susan always called grandma.

We went to Springfield and picked up Demi and kept her several days when it was time for her brother, Dougie, to be born. During this time we got a phone call that if we wanted to see Pat again we would have to hurry. She was not expected to live long. Relatives were all called. People were praying from coast to coast. At our house we fell on our knees in our living room floor. We all started to pray. I went in Rick's' room and he said, "Mother, I am praying that if one of us has to go, let it be me. It should not be Pat because she has two babies." I told him to pray that all would live. We had Demi with us. It was a nightmare for all of us.

Pat had major surgery after childbirth, to save her life. The news was not good. We all took off for Springfield, Illinois from every direction. The baby, Dougie, was fine, but Patsy's chances looked slim. Everyone was praying.

We took Demi back home with us to keep her until Pat recuperated. Pat said her spirit left her body and she could see the doctors working on her. Patsy said she heard the doctor say, "I didn't want to lose this one." She said she could tell you everything everyone had on, and what they said. She spent much time in intensive care following that horrible night, but she did recover. Doug's parents were there, and no one had expected her to survive.

When Dougie was a little older they moved to Indiana. They lived in a haunted house. Pat said she heard singing in the attic every night, and she and Doug loved it. However, I had no use for a haunted house. I would not go in there.

We took our camper to Turkey Run State Park in Indiana and visited with Pat and the kids. Doug was at work. We spent the day with them. She had to take Dougie to the doctor. We stayed there with Demi and some of the foster children. If they wanted anything from the house, I would send Pop. I was not going in that haunted house. While we were there, Rick slept at Pat and Doug's house. He was like Pat, not afraid. During the day he would fish at the camp site. Everyone was happy and having good lives.

We went to the Cumberland Mountains of Tennessee with Hershell and Charlene and five girls. We shared a cottage there. The electricity went off and we spent the night playing games. We played a game I had known since I was a kid called "Families". That is a game where one person gives clues about a family--how many people in the family--number of boys and girls, etc. and everybody tries to guess who it is. My nephew, Lynn, hated the game. We had a good time in spite of the fact we had no electricity.

It was a nice place. There were ducks on the lake. We rented boats and took boat rides and found a nice restaurant. It was a pretty place.

From there we went to visit a brother near Nashville and Hershell and Charlene went to visit her parents in Selmer, Tennessee. We went to Alabama to visit. We all had a good time on that trip.

After we returned, I was at home ironing one day when the phone rang. My cousin in Indiana was calling. He told me his brother had been killed in a car accident in Louisiana. It was hard to believe we had lost someone else in a car wreck. Milton had a night club in Shreveport, Louisiana. He and his entire band were killed in the wreck. My aunt saw it on the television news. She had no idea it was her son.

Again, we had to pick ourselves up and try to do the things that normal people do in life.

By now we had bought a cottage on the Kankakee River. It was really beautiful there, and we all loved it. We would go there on week-ends. We started going to church in Momence. Pop would go to work from there, so we spent a lot of time there, just looking around that country.

Rick went in the hospital for hernia surgery. That was a worry, but Pearl, a friend of ours, worked at the hospital. He was not on her floor, but she said she would check on him. She would come down to his room and see how he was doing. That made him feel better about everything. She also kept the girls for us when we went to California.

We had bought a Holiday travel trailer to replace the fold down camper. We started using it for our vacations. We traveled quite a bit with it. We parked it in the yard by the cottage at the river. At this time too, we had our pickup that we had named Old Yellow.

Old Yellow was a great name for our new super cab pickup. We had never owned a pickup, but with the river property, and for other reasons, we wondered how we had made it without Old Yellow. Our automobiles always seemed to be members of the family. The back seat of Old Yellow was large, and we had a cap on the back. We all loved Old Yellow. Even though I had my own car, I loved to get my hands on Old Yellow. It had everything imaginable on it. We often left the car at home and took long trips in the super cab. We took a trip to Vivian, Louisiana to visit our uncle and aunt who had lost their son, Milton, in the auto accident. I felt so sorry for them. I could not imagine anyone losing a child. My aunt was looking to the Lord for comfort. My uncle was very bitter. He owned a tavern in Vivian, and he planned to keep it forever. Milton had bought it for him.

Milton's first job was at Ford with Pop and my brothers in Illinois at that time. We all loved him and he was such fun. After he left Ford he went to Shreveport and married, and bought a night club. We had visited him there. The Hawkins side of my family has many members in Shreveport and throughout Louisiana.

Milton left a young wife and two small sons. He had been a pallbearer for my parents. Now we had another sad tragedy in the family, and it was another car accident.

We were so happy in our new life in this Chicago suburb. Why were we having these horrible tragedies in the family? The pastor of the church or no one had the answer. We often made trips to Spruce Pine to visit all the family. The thought of never seeing my parents again on these trips was terrifying, but it certainly was a fact. How could we handle it? We were trying the best we knew how. We started a prayer group meeting in our home in their memory. We had several people who were attending regularly. I had nightmare dreams and good dreams of them. I thought hundreds of times of my sister who was driving the car. They were certainly her parents, too. She had also lost a beautiful little girl. How would she go on? The beautiful Spruce Pine Mountain where they lost their lives would forever cross my mind each time we drove it. It was the mountain we loved so much.

We drove to Alabama where we loved to go to Aunt Minnie's home. It was the same house I had run in and out all my life. As I talked to my aunt, my mother's only sister, my mind went back. My grandmother and my mother were gone. My aunt had always been as another mother to me. I thought I must never stop coming to Spruce Pine. I still am blessed with the one I still have. We drove over to the Spruce Pine Cemetery. It is close in this little Spruce Pine town. As I stood at the headstones of my parents and my sister, I said a prayer and I thought--"Yes, Mama and Daddy, we had you for many years. Maybe we could have been better children for you." But as I looked and read the words on the stones and looked at Faye's little lamb, I thought of someone else's new life, too, and Faye was going to catch up on the years with her mother and dad that she didn't get here in this life. What a better life they are in. They are rich now and my daddy can laugh about the W.P.A. days because never again will he need anything this world has to offer. I said to them both, "I know you are so very, very happy there with two darlings, a daughter and a granddaughter, and watching over your family down here."