| GOOD: Your son studies a lot in his room. BAD: You find a heap of porn movies in there UGLY: Your in them. GOOD: You give the 'birds and bees' talk to your daughter. BAD: She keeps interupting. UGLY: ...with corrections. GOOD: Your son is finally maturing. BAD: He's involved with the women next door. UGLY: ...so are you. GOOD: Your wife isn't talking to you. BAD: She wants a divorce. UGLY: She is a lawyer. GOOD: The postman is early. BAD: He's wearing army fatigues and carring an AK47 rifle. UGLY: You didn't give him a tip at christmas. GOOD: Your son has developed an interest in religion. BAD: He's involved you with Satanism. UGLY: ...as a sacrifice. GOOD: You encourage your children to broaden there horizons. BAD: They become sexually active. UGLY: ...with each other. GOOD: You enjoy dangerous sex in public places. BAD: You are arrested. UGLY: ...by your husband. GOOD: You take your wife out to see a show. BAD: It's a strip show. UGLY: Your daughter is the headliner. GOOD: You want to be a grandparent. BAD: Your child is determined to wait for 'Mr Right'. UGLY: Your child is a boy. GOOD: Your boyfriend is excercising. BAD: He is obsesed about reaching his target. UGLY: ...to fit into your clothes. GOOD: Your neighbour exercises in the nude. BAD: He weighs three-hundred and fifty pounds. UGLY: Your blind wont close. GOOD: You always taught your kids to be prepared. BAD: Your daughter is on the pill. UGLY: She's only eleven. |
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