You know you're no longer a kid when... · Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it any more. · Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun. · The average ten-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are. · Being bad is no longer cool. · You have friends who have kids. · Saturday mornings are for sleeping. · You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland. · Your parents' jokes are now funny. · You have once said, "Whatch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?" · You have owned, and since disowned Michael Jackson's Thriller. · Christmas starts to piss you off. · You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, 'cause mom is not there to do your laundry anymore. · Two words: parachute pants · Naps are good. · Hitting girls is no longer considered flirting. · You no longer do the "pee pee" dance. · You have onced deemed Space Invaders as "The best game ever". · When you know that the machines in gas station bathrooms don't dispense balloons. · When things go wrong, you can't just yell, "Do-over!" · Playboy's Playmate of the month is younger than you. · The only thing in your cereal box is...cereal. · You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen. · Your idea of fun parties now include Chips 'n' Salsa and Snapple. · You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd. · You WANT clothes for Christmas. · You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums. · You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny. · You've bought an albumn on vinyl. · You remember seeing Star Wars when it first came out. · You no longer do your Christmas shopping at Spencer's. · Someone says, "My dad can beat up your dad", and you agree. · Receiving mail is no longer fun. · You actually choose to clean your room. · Ten dollars is not a lot of money anymore. · You own a garden hose. · You have more than the front door key on your key chain. · The music you grew up on is now bottled up on a three CD set and sold on an infomercial. · Malls aren't fun anymore. · The phone rings and you hope it's NOT for you. · You watch the news. · In the morning, you have to stand back 3 feet to take a whiz. · You resemble Homer Simpson. · You own jumper cables. · You know what an "all-skate" is. · You've ever worn Captain Marvel Underoos and yelled, "Shazam!" · You pass up Toys-R-Us for a furniture store. · You remember when Jordache jeans were cool. · In your fifth grade class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up. · You know, by heart, all the words to any "Weird Al" Yankovic song. · The Brady Bunch movie brought back fond memories. · You've debated the merits of Atari, IntelliVision and Colecovision. · You remember when the houses on your street got cable. · You remember when "alternative" music really was. · You've taken a family trip the old way....in a station wagon. · You learned grammar from Schoolhouse rock..."Conjunction-junction, what's your function?" · (for guys) Your dream woman was once a toss-up between Linda Carter and Catherine Bach. (Wonder Woman and Daisy Duke) · You've had Tab. · "Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of an iceberg, shape of a hawk!" · You've used a rotary dial telephone. · You actually believed that Mikey (of Life cereal fame) died after eating a whole packet of Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke. · You catch yourself humming the theme from "The Greatest American Hero." · You wonder how Michael Knight got that posh lifegaurding job. · Jelly shoes are no longer high fashion. · You've played pong. · You know what an 8-track cassette looks like. · You start wishing you are younger than you are, rather than older. · Your old toys are now collectables. · You have started a phone conversation with, "Hi, is your mom there?" · You actually pick up dropped ice cubes rather than kicking them under the fridge. |