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Our Very Own Caped Crusader vs. Various Others |
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As Toonami drew to a close, I stayed tuned to watch the Batman from the early 90's. Remember that one? In my opinion it was one of the best. This particular episode, Batman was facing off Two-face and it remimnded me of our very own man of many faces: Darien. I first thought of his sheet-clad embodiment, the Moonlight Knight, quickly followed by Endymion, Muffin, and Tuxie. "Hey," I thought, "how does our caped crusader compare to other male heroes of superness?" I'll have to take each personality one at a time to avoid confusion. And I'll also have to limit my superheroes down to the most well-known, which in my opinion is Batman, Superman, Spiderman, and Darkwing Duck ("Let's get dangerous." Hee hee hee...). |
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Persona #4: Endymion (Isn't he dreamy?) |
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Persona #1: Muffin |
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Persona #3: The Moonlight Knight (Oh, boy...) |
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Persona #2: That Guy In The Tuxedo Who Wears A Mask |
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~Tuxie vs. Batman Batman (known as Bruce Wayne) lives in Gotham City and is the wealthy owner of Wayne Enterprises. After his loaded parents were murdered before his eyes, at the tender age of some tender age, he has not slept a wink. An endless feeling of guilt has penetrated through his dreams and has convinced him that he was responsible for the deaths of his parents by not being able to protect them. To repent for his un-protecting-ness, he has patroled the streets as a vigilante (kinda like Zorro...) to defend the innocent. Let us compare... Darien Shields, too, is an orphan living off his apparently somewhat wealthy parents (I mean, have you ever really looked at his apartment in the show? It's huge!!! Two balconies -- one in his bedroom, the other in his living room -- a large kitchen/dining room... it looks like it's on the top floor, too. And that TV! Golly...). As an adult, he too holds a position of power over the city (much-less world...) as King Endymion. Darien's reasons for his vigilante-ness is not as psychological. He just really loves his girlfriend. Ain't that sweet? Anyway, the techniques of Batman and Tuxedo Mask are actually very similar. Neither have any super-human powers, however, they both have nifty gadgets (Batman's utility belt and Cape boy's extendo-cane), they both wear black, they both wear capes and masks, and both rely on their strength and agility throughout battles. Their actual fighting is different, though. Tuxedo Mask restorts to an almost sword-like use of his cane, whereas Batman would be more comfortable with a karate chop. ~Moonlight Knight vs. Batman You know the history of Batman (cause I just told you...), and MK has no past or present! Well, that's taken care of... MK resorts to his lame and long-winded speeches to stupify the enemy and then whack 'em with his little sword. Batman just kinda grunts with the occasional "YYYYyyyaah!" and "(Fill in with desired name), nooooo!", quickly followed by a punch and a throw. Obviously these two vary quite a bit. MK seems to have more of a philosophical way of thinking, whereas Batman only wants revenge. I mean, even the colors of the costumes are different! Face it, one is dork of the desert and the other is knight of the night. |
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~Tuxie vs. Superman Superman fell from the sky and landed on a farm and was raised by two people who named him Clark Kent. After he grew up, he decided that throwing all the love they gave him back in their face by moving away was the best way to thank them for all their support. So he relocated to Metropolis and found a job at the Daily Planet so he could find out the latest gossip, hop into a telephone booth, rip off his shirt (revealing a patriotic leotard), hop out again, yell out an "Up, up and away!", take off, and then go beat up the person responsible for spreading the rumor that he was really a pickle in disguise. I hate rumors... Darien fell off a cliff and landed in a hospital soon after. His transformation does not require the use of a telephone, or its booth. He pulls out a rose from his breast pocket and turns into a dark, multi-coloured mass of prisms, enveloped by a cape and soon returned to his normal self, plus a tuxedo and a mask. Darien has lived in Tokyo all his life and gets the 411 from severe migrains that inform him that his Meatball Head has gotten herself in trouble again. But most important of the differences between the two: Tuxie can't fly. Sure he can jump really high, but that can't last forever. Speaking of Meatball Head, these two both have girlfriends. Clark's got Lois, and Darien's got Serena. Lois is a fellow reporter at the Daily Planet and fills Clark in on the latest scoops. Her ability to get herself in more trouble than anyone thought possible has landed her a special place in Superman's heart. Darien's relationship with Serena goes back, way back. It started 1000 years ago. But presently, they also have a work relationship. Sailor Moon also has an ability to find danger, however, she takes part in the defending of justice. One last difference is that Superman has a weakness. Kryptonite. As far as I know, Tuxedo Mask has no weakness other than his love for Serena, but that also proves to be a strength. ~Moonlight Knight vs. Superman Again, MK is not a real person. Only a soul, so there goes that. Moonlight Knight has no known transformation, as that he never needs to transform. He also jumps high. In my opinion, MK does have a weakness. His speeches are so long and illogical that any youma at any given time could just puch him mid-word. At least he's chivalrous... |
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~Tuxie vs. Spiderman Peter Parker was just an ordinary high school student. Well, he actually wasn't so ordinary, I guess. He was a real nerd who lived with his Uncle and Aunt. Anyway, one day while perusing a science exhibit, a spider absorbed an incredible amount of radiation and bit the nearest living thing!!! Oh no! Peter soon discovered that he could scale walls by merely touching them. So, to match his nifty new powers, he needed to make a cool, new, coordinating leotard and web system. One day when he came home after letting a law-breaker break a law, he found that that specific law-breaker killed his Uncle Ben. Filled with new rage, he became buff and fought crime. So here we have another vengeance case, which Darien has nothing to do with. Nor does he have to ability to scale buildings or shoot web. He can, however, get to high places and stay there for a while without falling. So they both have good balance. Here's an important difference: Spiderman doesn't have a cape! Hmph. Spiderman works at a place, where he's a photographer. At one point he was dating an "up-and-coming soap star" named M.J., but I'm not sure if they're close anymore. (Anyone want to clue me in? No? Fine, be that way. Let all the people who read this be misinformed. See if I care...) As for Darien, he did his work in front of the camera for some time as a model. And I know for a fact that he and Serena are close... ~Moonlight Knight vs. Spiderman Both are out to right wrongs, and I guess that's good enough for me. |
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~Tuxie vs. Darkwing Duck Darkwing Duck's other self was Drake Mallard, and lived with his adopted daughter Gosalyn, and his quirky side-kick Launchpad. This doer of deeds also had a snazzy hat-cape-mask combination. He, like Batman, had no superhuman (or duck, rather) powers, but he had many gadgets. "DW" was a bit older than the rest of these heroes (certainly Darien), however, he probably had the most humourous side-kicks, villains, and coolest theme song. 'Nuff said. ~Moonlight Knight vs. Darkwing Duck Here, for the first time, the MK is equally matched in dorkdom. Finally, a hero of equally lame speeches and bad puns! Here I would have to say that MK made the better crime-fighter out of the two, but DW was much funnier. Ah, give and take... |
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So my analysis of superheroes (male ones at least) is done. Let us hope that by comparing all these daring fellows we can learn of the crime-fighting do's and don'ts. Now we can truly appreciate how wonderful and unique our Cape boy is. |
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The End. |
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SOME NOTES SO I DON'T GET SLAPPED WITH A LAW SUIT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE BAD. |
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Batman, Superman, and Spiderman are all owned by D.C. Comics and their creators and probably some other people too. I'm not taking any credit for them, so don't sue me. I took the pics and stuff from fan sites. Blame them.. |
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Darkwing Duck is owned by other people (like Disney, for one) who aren't me, but I think he's cool. |
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