These are my ponderings, thoughts about life in graduate school, based on Aaron Karo's Ruminations. They're fictional entertainment and not criticism so don't sue me. - rani
Ponderings #20 - I'm finishing up
PhD Ponderings: I'm finishing up
Now that I'm over my (sob!) 7th year blues, I've taken to answering
questions about when I'm graduating without a year reference. What year am
I? No more blushing "seven," no more "six, oh actually, seven," no more
shame! Instead, I simply hide the truth altogether.
I have a newer, much more brilliant reply.
Random person: "So, you're doing a PhD. What year are you?"
Me: "Oh, I'm finishing up!"
Ahh, the glory of those words! The Beauty! The serenity!
The self-delusion!
"Finishing up" your PhD is like the story of Tantalus. FOr those of you
who slept through Greek mythology, he was the one who always had the bunch
of grapes dangling above him, just slightly out of reach. You catch my
drift.
The end of the PhD is like radioactive decay. In 2 years, you're halfway
done, and in two more, three quarters, two more, seven-eighths, and now,
here, coming on the eighth year, nearly fifteen-sixteenths. Ever closer,
ever farther away.
There's always one more paper, one more experiment, one more theory, one
more calculation.
One more headache, one more nap, one more seminar, one less neuron, one
less iota of sanity.
Tomorrow I may have three more letters after my name, or two more (Dr)
before, but I'll have three more signatures to get, two more panic
attacks, a gazillion more interviews, and just one more chance to live a
normal life.
In between, here come the sickening, annoying first years again. Ugh.
Their sweet smiles. Their vapid enthusiasm. Their can-do attitudes and
opportunities for starting afresh. Yuck!
Now I sympathize with mad scientists. All the ones on tv must be 7-plus
year grad students.
Which just goes to show, like those mad scientist actors, grad students
never die, they just end up on B-rated movies, and fade away...