"Pardon me for while I burn and rise above the flame, Pardon me, Pardon me, Dont ever be the same."

This morning was clutch, I tell you, CLUTCH! Last night I went out at about 2 a.m. to visit some of my friends in Gettysburg, one of which left today to go back to Maine and I hadnt seen him in months. So, I went out there and got viciously destroyed. Worrying about the whole getting back into the house unnoticed thing was my biggest concern. Luckily, 9 a.m. is an awesome time to walk in the door. My dad had been gone to work for 2 hours and my mom was just about to get up, in fact, I was putting my pajamas on as the baby came out of his room screaming.... EH, what a wonderful day.

How come when its bad to use "gay" as an insult or a curse I always use it?!?!?!

I love going to visit people that I havent seen in a long time. I love the conversations. I have decided that all of my friends that need a place to live should move into a huge mansion, actually Ryan H. decided that. Nobody would care what each other did, people would find each other to hang out with, the house would just be happy. Think about it... You wake up in the morning and you really just want to chill with this person... well you can, they are right down the hall and to the left.... hahaha.... NO, this could never happen, it would be too good of an existance. Bah...

I probably talked about some really dumb stuff last night because I was really dumb... Hahaha, but I know everyone else was dumber. Haha... I hate people that wont admit how fucked up they are, but I cant stand people that cant believe that they are that fucked up....for some reason.... I love people who are dumb and admit it through babbling to other people and they just have a good time no matter what everyone else thinks about them. Yeah, honest people that just dont care who they are offending, or what they are talking about at some points... What was I talking about again?

My friend Ryan H. is awesome with that sometimes... Aislinn will always be the best. I guess its the varying degrees of "I dont give a fuck about what is socially acceptable." Yeah, so Ryan was talking about why he liked everyone that he was hanging out with, it was actually sort of cool, like, he was honest about it.... I guess I just like the fact that he can say that, now, I bet he wouldnt say it when he was in the right mind, or maybe he would if the time arose... I dont know... I just like that sort of thing.

Aislinn used to be so funny when we were up at the Mount. She would say anything and she really wouldnt care. It was so funny, so funny. Sometimes I didnt know whether to laugh or just cringe... raw humor..... so good, yet so bad... I was a bitch, most of the time, to people that I didnt like. I thought that I should let them know, be honest, and yell at them about it. Heh heh... Well I really wasnt that bad, they had to do something to me first, they had to have transgressed me in some way. Then I would have no problem saying "You are a fucking asshole." Sometimes Aislinn would tell me to shut up. God, those days were great.

I look back at those Mount days and I know that we had so many friends and then so many people that hated us, or not really hated us, but didnt understand us. Catholic school was a weird environment for me and Aislinn, and we werent about to evolve to fit in with this environment.... It wouldnt have been evolution, it would have been de-evolution.... for real. I mean, these kids are the worst... Kids with money, kids that never had freedom before.... and you know what they are doing with their new-found freedom and their parents cash??? I really dont care for a lot of these kids... because they are just really really dumb... really dumb... You know, could you not drink yourself into a coma after 3 beers?!?! Jesus Christ, not knocking the low tolerance thing or anything, I just wish you would know when to stop before you puke and pass out or do something else really really dumb...like have sex with the entire basketball team because they lost yet another game.... bah....what a sad sad thing.... whatever....

I hate when Valtrex commercials come on when you are making out with somebody.

I have to look at fashion schools and art schools soon. I just need to do something involved with art. I would be happy being an interior designer... Geez, come over to my house, it is my creation!

I need to quit smoking.... again....

So yeah, me and my mom were getting along nicely today. She has important business to take care of tomorrow and she needed to get dressed all pretty. I helped and I was happy. I really love fashion, even though Mikey thinks I have no style....(so what I wear grey socks with khaki pants...faux pas, who the hell cares?) Who cares about Khaki pants anyway... khaki pants, khaki pants walking down the street.... breaker breaker 1-9 we have a suspicious subject heading westbound wearing khaki pants and grey socks... who cares?!?!

So anyway, yeah, hair, makeup, dress, its easy and I love to do it. Screw everyone that says my fashion is weird, thats what makes me so stylin. I like my weird style, maybe it is no style at all, we'll all see, wont we? I used to get comments all the time back at the Mount. You know why? I looked weird, I looked different from everyone else. Sorry, I dont shop at the Gap, or Abercrombie & fucking Fich or whatever the hell... I dont care about Tommy's new designer fragrance, its shit!! I like my Goodwill find, there is nothing more satisfying than to know that the sweater that you are wearing only cost a quarter and you look better than half the people that are around you who probably spent a hundred bucks on that one outfit. I could have a whole new wardrob for a hundred bucks!!! Yeah, I admit to this, my silver sneakers - now those were a hundred bucks, but they are awesome!

I wish people would put up better away messages than "I'm sleeping." Good, you are sleeping, but I'm awake, give me some better fucking reading material!

I wish I could stop cursing, but when you put fuck or fucking into a sentence it makes it 10x more funny. Like take this... "I love Andres" Haha, now.... "I love fucking Andres" Isnt that much better??? I thought so... "Stop that cat!" "Stop fucking that cat." "Absolutely." I like "Abso-fucking-elty" much more.

Alright, we have to put a stop to that rant right now... or should I say... Fuck, we fucking have to fucking put a fucking stop to that fucking rant right fucking now, shit fuck goddamn! Sorry Andres, I just love you... Hahahaha....

I hate AOL Instant Messenger... I hate it a lot... It is so stupid. I'd rather get on the phone. Understanding what people are talking about sucks so bad on IM... I'm always like "What the FUCK are you talking about?" Dont get offended by that, dont get pissed at me for that....just tell me what the FUCK you are talking about! Blah, like I can see your face, hear your tone, maybe then would I know what you are talking about... Dont assume that I know what you are talking about, I am forgetful for some obvious reason, I barely remember how to spell my last name some times, I am not a mind reader... What the FUCK are you talking about?

I am going to cry, I think I go crazy at 2:30 a. fucking m.

I'd just like to reiterate, from a previous entry, how nice it is in the middle of the night. Sure, it can get boring from time to time, but I would rather have boredom than a straightout daytime nightmare. Like, I was up all today and all I heard all day was bitching, my moms bitching at my dad, my dad is bitching at my brother, my brother is kicking the shit out of my other brother, and my other brother is screaming because nobody can pay attention to him because everybody is bitching at each other. Sorry, I'd rather sleep through all of this.

Why is it that when my mom bitches at me and I'm like "Ok mom," "yeah mom," "I wont curse anymore mom," "Ill wake up in the morning mom," that it makes her mader than me actually fighting with her. I think she likes that more. If I say "ok" then I am just lying. So maybe next time, I should say "Ok fucking mom, I will fucking get up in the goddamned morning, and SHIT, maybe I'll only curse when you arent around."

Beer Pong is fun, it is not a way of life.... Sorry to those whose lives are now OVER!

I talked to my recruiter a couple days ago. I suggested that I should come in to discuss what I was doing this next coming semester (I'm not enlisting without 4 years of college, yeah, officers program, anything less, fuckit!). He was like "I know that you arent a morning person so how about 11 am on Wednesday?" I just laughed at him. Then he said "How about 2?" I laughed at him again. Then he was like "Oh, I understand, every night you are tore up from the floor up, eh?" I grew every silent, then I just busted out laughing... Then he said "I'll just call you at 2." I was like "OK." You know what I was doing at 2 pm on Wednesday?? I was FUCKING SLEEPING!