"" I looked at my moms table this morning and noticed that there was graffiti in big fat black crayon running all over it. I instantly thought "I wonder why the baby isnt dead."

Procrastination.... having the choice between taking a nap or taking a shower, but doing neither because you cant make the decision. How sad is that? Another choice would be calling your boyfriend guy, but that one has been ruled out as a last defense against total boredom. Yes, I have opted for this: ranting. It kills time, no decision need be made because I have made the decision to procrastinate. So how long can I do this is the only question?

Procrastination... a way of not feeling bad for not doing something by occupying your time with some other activity.

Blah, i am such a tool sometimes....

I have decided that I have a problem with underwear. Underwear is an awfully constraining thing at times. Yes, I have decided it... I dont like it... Yeah, so I was out tonight, yeah out.... and believe me I had a lot of fun... yeah, fun... so I had to quickly pull on my pants... this could have been for the third time tonight if someone hadnt taken lead, but yeah, in my haste I put both legs into one of the holes... yeah, I'm an idiot, so anyway, when I was walking into my house, I was like "wow, these underwear are awesome, I dont feel them at all." I didnt realize mistake until I was putting on my pajamas, and so I was like "oh, underwear are the devil." Right now I am the happiest and the comfiest I have been in a long long while.

Yeah, its fine until you are walking around in front of your family... It kinda makes me blush...

Me and my brother played Super Smash Brothers Melee for 5 hours tonight, how sad is that? I didnt feel like going anywhere or doing anything... The GameCube is always amusing. After a while, we figured out that you need to play like 700 games to unlock one of the secret characters: Mewtwo... so we decided that we would play a new game: Who could die the fastest. This game is not fun after 3 hours of it. My mother came downstairs and put an end to it though.... at 5 am. I still have so many waking hours to go! She bitched at me and my brother, "Youre going to sleep all day." Hey, dont I do that anyway?

Any contact with a boy makes me think about Ryan... Something has to be wrong with me. Something has to be done to stop that. I was told to move on... Yeah right, trying to move on makes me think about him more, I mean, what the hell?!?! We are talking again so it makes it just a little bit worse, or should I say a lot worse... Eh... Talking is hard though, like on the phone... He is 3 hours behind me so there just seems like there is no good time to call. I dont know when he is working or when he is partying and blah.... Too hard. Thank God today is going to be Sunday when the sun finally does come up.

So who is my new conquest in Carroll County and the surrounding areas??? Haha, I would tell you but you read this so I had best not, so I will play this game.... You think you might now who you are, but are you really sure??? Hahahaha... ;-) Middle school games are so funny... But yeah, I have someone in mind, and you'll know it when we are person to person. I hate the internet for stuff like that.

I wonder how people think about me after reading these entries online. Man, sometimes I really hold myself back on some of them, other times I really just dont care. Since this is public maybe I really should, in most cases I dont, but blah... I decided to make a journal so I can rant so I am going to rant, so there!

I have 3 ex-boyfriends online right now, how sick is that? So shall you cruise around on AOL IM and see what kind of crap I can find??? Yes, I think we shall...

resting uncomfortably <--- Away Message
if you care for me at all...
pull the trigger <--- Profile.

Umm, I was talking about this kind of shit before, I mean, how pathetic is this. PULL THE TRIGGER YOURSELF ASSHOLE! I mean, what a fucking load! PLEASE! This is the kind of person that just wants you to talk to them so they can complain about how horrible life is. Yes, I feel real fucking sorry for you... Eh, not really.

Do you think if humans could fly like birds that there would global warming? Would there be an excuse to be late for work, somehow I think since there is limited road space, and copeous airspace, that the caught up in traffic excuse wouldn't work. Would there be drinking and flying laws? Could you imagine the law enforcement? Robbery at 32nd and Broadway, three officers have been dispatched and are in flight. Would we have airplanes? Would the use of any flying mechanism be of any use? How fast would we fly? Could you imagine what life would be like?

I'd still drive a car, you fuckers. <--- Away Message

I rant and I like it, so does he and I like it. Heh heh heh....

is this better jacky? <--- Profile

NO ITS NOT DUMBASS!

i cant dream anymore since you left
i miss you singing me to sleep
i cant wake anymore in your arms
i miss you singing me to sleep <--- Away Message

Awwww, now I am sad.... I miss you singing me to sleep too... heh heh heh

dreaming... <--- Away Message
It's some kinda love
And it's some kinda hate
The maggots in the eye of love wont copulate... <-- Profile

Guess my problem with the Away Message.... Yeah thats right, youre sleeping and I'm not, cant you put up something that is going to catch my attention, I need some reading material! I like the profile however, what a beautiful metaphor.

trying to rest my weary self in bed...aahhh sleep <-- Away Message

Another boring sleeper. Blah! Yeah, and I can live without this stupid gay shit.

I eat and then pass out. Who wants some, ladies?! Or guys ;-) <-- Away Message

Can anybody tell me what the fuck that means for the love of God? Its 530 in the morning and that just confuses me.

leaf by leaf and page by page
throw this book away
all the saddness all the rage
throw this book away
rip out the bindings and tear the glue
and all of the grief we never even knew
we had it all along
now its... smoke

we will not write a new one
there will not be a new one, another one

those who say the past is not dead
can stop and smell the smoke
you keep saying the past is not dead well
stop and smell the smoke
you keep on saying the past is not even past
and you keep saying
we are... smoke <--- Profile

I really like song lyrics in a profile, this is very very good reading material, plus they picked a very good song that goes straight to my heart... Thank you Manda.

"I was a waiter once. I was fired for clearing tables. I was clearing them for takeoff. I had them all lined up outside. People thought it was an outdoor cafe. But I had to tell them, no, these are leaving at 3." -Steven Wright <-- Away Message

I'd like to thank the bearer of this away message because yes, I am still awake, and this is some good reading material. I really enjoy some humor at 535 in the morning!

So there are the people that I do know, but you know what is even better? The stupid assholes that are on at 5 in the morning that I dont know... HEheheh, lets go check them out!

01001001 01100001 01101101 01101110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101
[I am not here in binary] <--- Away Message
Abattoir Man: fag
barrybonds76: :-D <--- Profile

I am so glad that I wasted my time finding and reading this.

Dammit, the info for BigBootyGyrl was unavailable, well fuck me!

I'm Gay, like to meet other people around the world <--- Profile

Well, Gee, me too!

311 is the shit!!!!
Buckethead rocks the world.
Alex is a bitch >:o <--Profile

Yes, thank you for that, I feel just a little bit stupider now just for reading it, get a life ASSHOLE!

Wussahappinen???????????? <--Profile

Nothing....

wass up
hmmm........... are we real, is anything we touch real, can anything actually be proven if we do not know what is real or not........ we can never be sure; however, is what is real actually important or not? cause isn't what we do real to us; therefore, reality really isn't important is it?
"What do u want me to do, kill him again?"
- Sean Connery (The Rock)
"Love and Peace! Love and Peace!"
- Vash the Stampede So educational! :-D<--- Profile

In the beginning I thought it was going to be shitty, but there is a rant so somehow it has redeemed itself right there, but then it turns stupid again... Yay!

Finding buddies is fun, especially if you know the email addresses to people that you hate. Yeah, perhaps they arent on right now, but I am sure that later they will be on at some point, and then is when you make yourself a bogus screenname and fuck with them A LOT! But there is a catch, other people can find out it was you if you register your bogus name with your email address so you are going to need a bogus email address as well... I think of it all. I am not even going to go into detail of the names that I am looking up.. haha... It'll just have to be a secret. (Note: Dont forward me stuff, I can find out the screen names to all your friends and fuck with them... HAHAHA)

I am probably the only man alive who can proudly say that Jon Green has had sex in my bathroom...twice. <--- Profile

A non-sarcastic thank you because in its simplicity it made me laugh, I just dont really want to know the story behind it.

Hi everybody! Matt's here! I like socks! <--- Profile

The rest of the profile wasnt worth even putting in because it was emo garbage, but this made me laugh, so kudos to Matt!

BTW PuNk fAyRiE is my secret lover;-) <--- Profile

Am I really you fucking stupid bastard??!?!!?

~Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take are breath away <--- Profile

I just sort of like that quote, all the rest were pretty damn gay!

blah blah blah sex ;-) blah blah blah shitty music!!! blah blah blah contrived angst :-( <--- Profile

This has to be the most awesome profile I have ever seen, and I told the guy too. Cynicism makes the world go round I tell you!

Hey Wassup, gimme a minute while I beat da crap outta dis Arab rii quick...imma strangle him wit his own towel <--- Away Message
A-yo I'm at da lab workin 6 to 2 tryin to stack dat paper, All i wanna do is chat, ladies I dont wanna date ya, If u got intelligent convo then come on and bring it, If you got dat smart ass mouth then come on and spit it, I'll dismantle yo grill verbally and leave u wit ur mouth in need of lyrical surgery, u betta Come correct or get yo mouth slapped dry, Bitch u betta come correct or have ur brain cells fried, Now u Really done did it, Now u really done fucked up, Tried to battle me and got ur stank ass tossed up, I outperform my foes wit mah back against da ropes, disrespect mines and its GUN SMOKE GUN SMOKE, Now who's da next up for dis lyrical abortion? leave u along wit ur kiddie rhymes layin in ur coffin..coughin <--- Profile

This has to be the stupidest bit of garbage that I have ever read in my life. Does this kid have any real friends? I bet this is one of those ghetto kids that has to look tough, its just lame to me. Whoever this is better not meet me because I will "put a cap in his skull-piece."

"There's nothing I can't do, I'm just too lazy to do anything" -- Words to live by from my little bro <---Profile

Yeah, someone else that knows the feeling of laziness... lets hear it for laziness! Here! here!

dont hate dont hate u know u wish u was my baby daddy dont hate dont hate
rainbow <---Profile

Is this a subliminal message of some sort????

OH MY GOD!!!!! I CANT FEEL MY ASS!!!!!
here...you try... <--- Profile

HAHAHAHA!

FUCKIN A <--- Profile

Yeah, I know how you feel!

young grasshopper you must walk bare foot on paper towel without tearing <--- Profile

Eh...

I am a Christian. I enjoy the Martial Arts. <--- Profile

Good to know...

There's someone in my head but it's not me
Got any ideas who the hell it is?
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But whips and chains REALLY excite me! :-) <--- Profile

Now I am really scared.

Do you have some open position for me? I am a good and diligent worker :-) I would like to be a mountaineer in Tibet, coffee picker in Brazil or yak shepard in Mongolia... Anything else but CALIBRATION ENGINEER in Finland :-)
Name: Tomi
Sex: Male
Age: 26
Country: Finland
City: Helsinki
Marital status: Single (Still, can you imagine?) <--- Profile

What the hell is this?? There is nothing like some weird Finlander to scare you at this unGodly hour of the morning.

Hey my name is Will I'm the drummer for TenBall. We're a local band in GA. We're "EMOTIONAL HARDCORE METAL". Check us out <--- Profile

This kid is in denial. This should say "HI, my name is sad Will, I am a drummer for Tenball, a local band in Georgia. We're SHITTY COUNTRY EMO CRAP. Dont listen to us."

danielle you are mine no one elses so please all you otha hoez don't get jealous
I love you danielle you mean the world to me
Danielle you are the best thing that came in to my life i hope we last forever and ever
*Danielle and Josh 4 life* <--- Profile

I wonder if this kid smokes crack. I know this for a fact, he must be out of his head or whack! He must be no older than a middle schooler, than his profile would be much cooler. For now I'll just say, this kid must be gay.

So yeah, this kid is a little protective of his girlfriend and he wants everyone to know... Next week, I'll bet, its going to say "Suzie, you are mine no one elses. so please all you hoez, including danielle, dont get jealous. I love you Suzie you mean the world to me, even though I had 'I love you Danielle you mean the world to me' on my profile last week. Suzie, you are the best thing that came into my life other than Game Boy, I hope we will last forever and ever.... Suzie, Josh, and Game Boy 4 life..."

Also, I can't forget the other exchange students that shared that year with me. Thanks must go to you for being so understanding and so much fucking fun!!! And, last but by no means least...my wonderful family. You are the sole reason for me enjoying and understanding the USA <---Profile

You arent fucking American and you dont fucking want to be, so dont fucking try. Hahaha, I find it funny the use of fuck by an exchange student to his friends, but then he mentions his family, I hope they read it... FUCK! Such FUCKING FUN!

I am
Fatty, fatty stink fat fat, fat stink fat, felatio
I like musicals, scented candles, and skull raping my mom <---Profile

Again, I am afraid of people...

I think with that last frightening profile I must end this madness. So that was our journey through the horrors that are AOL IM profiles and away messages. DId you learn anything... You learned that other people that you dont know should just be left alone along with a lot of the stupid people you do have the pleasure of knowing. Heh, I sat here and talked to the one kid, MIke with the cool profile for like an hour... Definately a cool guy, definately not ever going to talk to him about anything that means anything. He's just got a cool point of view. He is an aspiring writer, and he is an inspiration to me with that wonderful cynical profile. Right on North Carolina cynical Mike! I hope you become the writer that you want to be.

Lets read it just one more time:

blah blah blah sex ;-) blah blah blah shitty music!!! blah blah blah contrived angst :-(

Yeah, I guess that just sums it up! I just love it!

Alright, I must end the adventure for the day because my parents will be getting up soon. I see screen names that have been idle for hours come back into full color. The world is getting light purple. This means I must be off to bed to hide from the wickedness that is the morning.... oh yeah, and dont forget the afternoon, evening, and any other time that represents normal waking hours.