happyfamily

Sa'adi, our famous poet says: "Human body is noble if it is embellished with noble human soul; never do fine clothe suggest humanity."

In his poem, Sa'adi wants to show that while there is correlation between body and soul, the worth and nobility of man depends on his human and moral character. Failing this character, there can be no distinction between man and his figure painted on the wall.

Let us see whether there is enjoyment and tranquility in our family life. There are two aspects in our family life, material and spiritual. Material aspects takes care of means, housing conditions, husband's income, basic necessities of life, etc. And spiritual aspects refers to standard of education and social culture of married couples and sincerity and abiding affection between them.

While admitting the interaction of the material and spiritual aspects of family life, let us see which one has a greater share in conjugal bliss. As a matter of fact, moral endowments and virtues are the cornerstone of a happy family life. In a family where morality and firm religious faith govern children will be brought up with a high standard of behaviour and righteousness. The material aspects of life is the means and not the end. But in the Western societies where material needs and comforts and the pleasures of the flesh are the main concern, families will soon be torn asunder:

In the past people used to live a modest life, but nowadays, luxuries of life and leading a life of luxury are what most people seek. Of course, the cultural invasion of the West plays an important part here and consequently moral decadence prevails. Nine out of ten, there are marriages of convenience. Families live beyond their means just to make a vulgar display of their wealth. This is the strain on the nerves of husbands and wives. They grumble at each other at their low income and consequently there follows domestic wrangling. Families are thus torn asunder by money matters.

But if wives and husbands want to have a happy tranquil life they should take into consideration the following points.

1. Women and men should be endowed with the Islamic morality and keep human principles and respect each other.

2. Avoid covetousness as it destroys many human and moral principles.

3. Married couples should try to live within their means and strengthen the spirity of contentment.

4. Instead of grumbling all the time at each other and showing bad temper, try to be cheerful. Let us not forget that the Prophet (saw) had a cheerful disposition in all his life and believed that a cheerful smile of affection did wonders in winning hearts, something that one's self and power never did.

5. Do not be the slave of fashions.

6. Imam Ali (as) said that a cheerful smile suggested faith.

7. Husbands and wives try to hide their sorrows and give each other a happy smile.

8. Do not grumble at each other, for it mars the happiness of life.

9. Western family lawyers maintain that one of the important causes of divorce and forsaking family family is that husbands and wives grumble at and find fault with each other.

Let us cite two examples of constant grumbling of wives: Napoleon Bonaparte's wife, Eugenia-had a habit of constantly grumbling at her husband who stealthily left his house at nights to get rid of her bad temper.

Tolstoi's wife was a woman fond of luxuries of life, whereas her husband paid no attention to it. She carried her grumbling to excess until at last one very cold night Tolstoi left his house, bound for unknown whereabouts. After eleven days they found his corpse in a railway station who had died of pneumonia. In agony of death he had said he detested even his wife's presence over his dead body.

By: Majid Rashidpoor
Tr.by: Quds Shaifi

MAHJUBAH VOL14, No 12(139) Dec 1995