Humor
“Screws fall out all the time. The world is an imperfect place.”
-The Breakfast Club
“I think we should take the roll and if anyone’s not here their probably somewhere else.”
-M*A*S*H
“…And on page six you’ll find my resignation. If you skip every other word you’ll see it’s also a suicide note.”
-M*A*S*H
"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a week. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis."
Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
"Nothing is impossible for Tom Cruise."
Maureen McCoy
"If he was asked at this moment where he would like to be he would probably have said he would like to be lying on the beach with at least fifty beautiful women and a small team of experts working out new ways to be nice to him, which was his usual reply."
Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Farewell, sister! Although you did betray and attack me, it was still very nice to see you!
-Starfire, Teen Titans
Come, Friends! I shall thank you by reciting the Poem of Gratitude. All six thousand verses!
-Starfire, Teen Titans
Beast Boy: See, she thinks I'm funny.
Raven: Statistically, I suppose someone has to.
Teen Titans
When I was little my favorite Sneekflat was eaten by a Glorborg, and trust me, once a Sneekflat gets eaten, you do not want it back.
-Starfire, Teen Titans
'You are not funny, you are a Klor-Back Varbler Nelk!"
-Starfire, Teen Titans
"Hey, I know where we are, we're in that same place where I didn't know where we were before!"
-Cyborg, Teen Titans
How many Okarans does it take to hoogie a morflark? Finbar!
-Starfire, Teen Titans
3 words; Disgruntled Radioactive Clones.
-Beastboy, Teen Titans
"Stop, stop, stop! What do you think you're doing? You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo because everyone does not have a water buffalo! We're going to get lots of nasty letters saying: Where's my water buffalo? and Why can't I have a water buffalo? Are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! So stop being so silly!"
Veggie Tales, The Water Buffalo Song
"I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life, Sir!"
Patrick Star (in that one episode where Squidward was trying to impress Sqwilliam with the five-star restaurant thing)
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean different things.
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master—that’s all."
-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
"I daresay you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
"Now that you've established who we are, come rescue us!"
-Jessie
"Now, now kids, calm down,"
-Ash, his best quote, Pokemon
"Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose?"
Spongebob, KrabBorg
"If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use your money to get to the top! You can't stop me whoever you are!"
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
"It's Friday, right? It better be Friday."
Me
“I am Sirius Orion Black, I come from Sclopenduberhogan . I am the leader of the Society of Pink Ponies and Yellow Smiling Marmosets Who Prance Through the Fields of Joyous Tulips. I’ve come here with my followers, who I shall lead westward to the magical land of Idaho, where we shall set up our commune, which shall be called Fort Buttercup. There, we shall prance around in fields of joyous tulips with pink ponies and yellow smiling marmosets. PRAISE BE TO DIMLOEP-SUUM, THE GOD OF POTATOES, WHO WILL LEAD US TO OUR HOME AT LAST! WE SHALL FOLLOW THE SIGN HE HAS GIVEN US—THE GLOWING PILAR OF HONEY BARBEQUE CHICKEN WINGS!”
Our inebriate outlaw was very disturbed by this and suddenly felt uncomfortable around the boy. He only wanted to high tail it out of there. “Al-alright, I jus be movin on then.”
“May Dimloep-Suum smile down on you in good favor and give you reign over the fruit bats and happy laughing gerbils. Go in peace Junke Trunn, meaning, “ how now brown cow” in our ancient language of Frenty-Putter.” Sirius stood up and bowed deeply, screwing up his face. The man ran screaming from the Killjoy Saloon. The smashed menace was no more.
-Evil Yellow Day Moon
from:
Her Story
“We are the knights who say “NI!”
-Monty Python
“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.”
“What did he say?”
“He said ‘Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth.”
“Oh that’s nice. They have a hell of a time.”
-Life of Brian
So, all about me...I'm crazy. Hyper. Insane. I'm just this entity fueled only by sugar and Vanilla Coke. Life is good. ^_^
-Silver Phoenix (fanfic.net) http://fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=145599
Fear is a stupid and useless emotion. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
"Whoa," said Sirius. "That was deep."
-fanfic (sorry, forgot which one) (with the first part originally by another author [classic book author (isn't it sad when I know the etiquitte for using parentheses and brackets within parentheses?)] Yllen emailed to me but I forgot and deleted...shameful me)
Fanfiction: a socially acceptable way to pretend you're three again.
- Wishweaver
"The Constitution was founded on the principle that people will bathe themselves."
The P.I.M.P.S.
"Yar is Ray spelled backwards."
-J.H.
"A-ha! A-ha! There is no spoon!"
-J.H. (a different one)