Well now that you have an idea of how far apart I was from my "friends" you can kind of figure out what kind of a hassel it was to see your friends. The easiest way was to be drove, for that to happen I pretty much book an apointment with my parents, exspecialy my mother. After that I would get probably a maximum of three hours or so at my friends house before I would get picked up by my mother. That sucked, it made visits with friends few and far between. So rather than put up with the hassel I just gave up. Since I had a only few real friends who actualy cared eneough. One of them was Ivan, i'll miss him. He ended up going to another school and I lost touch with him, such a familiar story for any one who had a friend who went to another secondary school. But any ways I just gave up on trying to go to myfriends homes and just stayed home most of the time and pretty much dicked around, I got really good at finding stuff around the house, since all I would do is just snoop around the house and find stuff. I think i was aobut ten when I found my dads stash of play boys. Since I never really had friends come over very often i didn't just go and point at the pictures and laugh with my friends. I must have read all of theose books cover to cover, it was about thirty of them. I never relaised that there was so much shit a person can by for a penny (yea, i ran into a few "porn for a penny" adds, it's funny cuz it was all in like 9mm film that came with a cheap projector). And it's from these magazines that I learned a lot from a yourg age, and yes, I read them, all the articles, not just looked at the picutres. Despit what many people say a porn magazine can give you a lot of information about the human anatomy that they don't usualy teach in shcool, exspecialy at that time.
But i'm getting off topic, again, i was talking about how I just gave up on trying to see my friends for a while. Well I was at home all the time, both my parents worked, so I was alone with my sister a lot. I ended up hating her, slowly, but steadly I started to hate her. Because i did get to leave the house and to to a "friends" house every now and then it wasn't like we were our only sources of human inter action. So because I knew what it was like to be away from her, i hated being around her. I still do. With both parents working, the only person that was and is around the house all the time is my grandmother. I think i ended up teaching her a lot of english for how much time I spent around her. I loved her, she would be really nice to me, make me a sanwich before i got home, and give me candies all the time. I still love her, and yes, she's still here with me at home. My grandfather works now, and he worked then, so not much has changed there.
I spent all my time with the same people. I ended up knowing every thing so well i never really bothered talking for no reason. For soem reason i'm still afraid to talk to my dad. Maybe it's because i never talked to him much since he was always gone in the morning way before i was awake for so many years. I don't know. But any ways I did this for a long time. Then in about grade seven, probably the end of the year I noticed a problem. I was tired of living the way I was, people stopped picking on me and started to feel sorry for me so they included me in some of their activities at school. Well, at that point i still liekd the same music my dad likes, which is stuff like, Rush, Zepplin, Queen, the Tragicaly hip, the Tea Party, any thing they played on Q107 I liked. Well at my elementry school to be a popular kie you had to listen to shit. you had to listen to "Gino Beast" or freestyle, rap, hip-hop, and a bunch of other shit to be cool in that shit hole school. Well because i wanted to be liked and to try to be popluar I ended up just listening to all that shit. And i thought I liked it. Then came grade 8. I must have been the dumbest, must annoying fucker to crawl on this fucked up planet. Some of the memories I have just piss me off and make me think that I was just a fucking idiot. Most of it was dancing, and just following every one that was around me that I thought was cool. Well I was an idiot, i ended up just spending the summer going around going to other peoples houses, even though they probably didn't want me to be there I was there riding around my neigborhood on my CCM Echo, that was my favorite bike, my sister used it once and she left it behind the tires of my dads truck. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to find out that it got ran over, and that my dad got mad at me, even though it was her fault ... well you coulden't have know the last part. I had put 200 and some odd killometers on that bike going back and forth to my friends houses. I had one of those speedometers taht had an odometer in it, like they all do. But thats how much time i wasted on the road to my "friends" houses. Well some of them were worthy of being called friends, Mike and Phil at least.
But any ways, lest see, I told you how i was afraid of most of the people I went to school with, maybe I should tell you why, yea, I'm jumping from topic, to topic, what can I say, thats just me. I guess it all started in grade one. I was originaly in a split class, gr. 1 and 2. there was this one kid, his name is Rob, him and his friends had lots of fun making the next six years of my life hell. I don;'t know what happened, I guess I instagated it, or kept instagating it. But he never wanted to stop bugging me. when ever I stood up I ended up having my pants pulled down to my ankels, he made a bog stick out of lego and started beating the crap out of me, him and his friends stoned me with blocks, he tride to force play-dough down my throat, and a whole bunch of other stuff. this was just durring class. At reces every time I was in sight I was chassed. And it was pretty danm scary for me, alittel kid being chassed by like, nine kids, all bigger than me, all with the same intentions, they all wanted to beat the crap out of me. Well, I learned to become a very good runner, and rather than getting the crap kicked out of me three times a day, 5 times a week, I only got beaten up when they could catch me, mostly four or five times a week. I ended up getting transfered out of that Split calss, and got dropped into a solid gr. 1 class. It must have taken them a few weeks to spot a problem, but to me it felt like years. Years of being tortured in and out of class, having no rest and always being forced to be on the look out, man did that ever suck. Well this persisted untill about grade six, then every one just stopped bothering me, except the kids from grade 3 and down, they always had to make fun of me.
This was a good one that never stopped following me till i left my shit hole elementry school. In grade five, my mom used to give milk in a reuseable container. the day before the march break I left one such container in te corner of my desk (it was actualy a cubical). Now after a week of sitting in a warm school you can guress what happened to the milk. I came back, and my desk was covered in water, it was from the milk congealing and forcing the water out the container. if I was smart i'd ahve just taken the bag and thrown it in the garbage and cleaned up the mess, but in stead I had to open the container and get that shit all over my desk and my hands and arms. I enede up just forcing all that stuff down the drain with a popsicale stick, and every one was gaging on the smell. That day fucked the rest of that year up for me. With in two days every one forgot my name, I was now know as cheese boy, that didn't bother me that much just being called that, but they went and made fun of everything connected to me. At taht time it bothered me when peile made fun of my parents, at this point I couldent give two fucks about what you say about me or my family. But then I ahted it when people started to make fun of my family. Oh and this calss was another split class, Grade 5/6. I was on the bottom again. To make matters better there was theis one fuck in grade six, his name is Tony. the fucker was like a foot and a haf shorter than me, he was a fucking snake and an ass hole. I wanted nothing more than to impale him with the teachers pointer, or some other class room object. This fuck would beat the shit out of me and try being my frined, and I trusted him every time! Shit was I a fucking gullible child, well, I still am. this kid sent me home with new bruises every day. One time when I got home, I went to take a shower, when I took off my pants and looked at my legs it looked like a few sploches of skin on a bruise. This kid was stomping on my leggs that day and thery were like one big bruise. Now I said that this kid was a lot smaller than I was, well you might be asking why didn't i just beat the fuck out of him. Well, I couldn't, I still couldn't, I got so used to running I was afraid of what would happen if I fought back. because I tried that a few time with Rob, He just beat me more and harder. Plus if I left any marks he would go to the principal, when I was in his office for any thing, i just froze and let him yell at me while he gave me what ever punishment he felt fit. A few times he threatened to expel me, once for disturbing the class, once for leaving a small bruise on Tony's arm, once for stealing his jacket, and two more times for some stupid offences I forgot. Alll of them petty littel things hardly worth a suspension.
Now that i think of it, it was pretty funny, I left one burise on Tony's arm no bigger than a nickel, while he beat the fuck out of me leaving me bruises that I had problems hiding with pices of paper. And I was the one he was threatening to expel! Man that makes no sense to me!
