The Former President

Q: What is the diffenece between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdrivers turns in screws, Clinton screws interns.

Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 AM?
A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.

Q: How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they are too busy screwing the President.

Q: What do Monica Lweinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.

Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.

Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so fat?
A: Because she is witholding evidence

Q: What happens when Clinton takes Viagra?
A: He stands straight and gets taller.

Q: Did you hear what the FBI found in Monica Lewinsky's dress?
A: A wad of bills

Q: Why did Bill give up the saxophone for Monica?
A: Its easier to play, she does the blowing!


As Air Force One prepares to land, the captain makes his customary request over the loudspeaker: "Mr. President would you please return the stewardesss to the upright position and prepare to land?"

Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? The spread eagle.

Starr asked Clinton in front of the grand jury, "Was Monica lying?"
Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."

The Spelling Bee:
Dan Quayle and Bill Clinton were in a spelling contest. Unbelieveably, Dan Quayle wond! He was the one who knew that 'harass' was one word.

Women in Washinton DC were asked if they would have sex with the President. 86% said, "Not again."

Clinton's team of advisors have offered the followind defense:
Clinton NEVER told Lewinsky to lie in disposition! He told her to lie in THIS position...

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Compiled by Quoc Kien
http://qkien.8k.com