The beautiful, grand stone walls were covered with dark green silk drapes and family portraits framed in ebony notched with silver. The winding stairways that led up to other rooms were ebony also; silver vines entwined the hansdomely carved banisters. The carpet was dark green velvet, and the candelabras hanging from the ceiling, the walls, and placed on the sideboards were silver snakes with emeralds placed as eyes. James would have been shocked to see this place and would have left. Lily felt right at home.
Lucius took her arm.
"C'mon. I'm showing you your room. This way." He led her up the right-hand curving stairway and stopped at the second landing.
This landing opened into a large hallway, with green velvet covering the floor and different designs notched in silver on the doors, framing the sides. Three doors away from the large window at the end of the hall, Lucius stopped and handed Lily her trunk. He pulled a door to his left open and pulled the trunk inside.
"This is your room...I'd say better no unpack till we're sure that you're gonna be staying here, but you can go ahead and take off the sweater." He left and closed the door quietly, leaving Lily to stare about her new residence.
It somehow reminded her of her Hogwarts dormitory; circular, with a four-poster across from the door and an large window. It was much more grand than anything at Hogwarts, though, much more greener and more silver; much darker than the school had been. Lily's eyes sparkled mischievously.
Lily grinned widely as she saw the beautiful view from the window; several handsome hedges shaped to form a sort of maze in snake-form. The lawns were darker than was usual, and they were bordered by a neatly kept sort of forest; not as dark or as dangerous as the Forbidden one at Hogwarts, but nevertheless a forest. Lily bit her bottom lip in excitement, closed the large window she had been staring out of, and threw open her trunk.
Sick and tired of the Hogwarts robes, she searched for something fitting for the warm but not hot atmosphere of the mansion. Wrinkling her nose, she found that the only things the house-elves had washed were the bluejeans and green shirt Eva had made her put on over the Easter holidays. Shaking her head and fumbling around for some darker, clean things, she finally had to resort to those clothes. Just as she was tying her hair back in a braid, Severus knocked at the door.
"Lily?"
"Hum? That is-who is it?"
Severus pushed the door open. "It's me. You all right?"
"Sure-why shouldn't I be?"
"No reason." He shut the door and moved into the room, sitting next to the gangly form on the bed. "Lily?"
"Mmm?" She had given up on the braid and was trying a braided bun, and for the first time in over a year, she was fussing with hairpins. Right now they were in her mouth, and her arms were aching from being held up over her head for so long.
"Remember what I told you at King's Cross?"
"Mmmph ummph. Thwat I phooldn't pell Wucius' pawents I'm a Wuggle."
"That you what?"
Lily removed the pins from her mouth. "That I shouldn't tell Lucius' parent's I'm a Muggle. Or Muggle-born, whatever. I was going to ask you about that, anyway. Why not?"
Severus shrugged, but it wasn't an "I don't care" shrug; more of a nervous twitch. "They-Lily, they don’t especially like Muggles."
"I'm a witch."
"I know, but-well, I didn't especially like them either. To tell ya the truth, you're the only one I like."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"Kinda sorta maybe I don't know. But I'd do all I can to keep them from finding out. See-well, one of their friends had a Muggle father, and the dad left his mom and kid when he found out that the mom was a witch. And them the mom died, and the kid grew up in an orphanage, and-well, the people there were terrible to him. So people like that are partly what makes Lucius' parents hate Muggles."
"Partly?"
"Well-yeah, they think Muggles are so inferior to them…and in a roundabout way they are-refusing to believe in anything they can't see-oh well. Promise you won't tell his parents?"
Lily had something else on her mind. "Severus?"
"Huh?"
"What was that orphan's name?"
"Oh-I'm not sure-see, they've been out of touch for a long time-they say he went to Albania or something to live with his mum's folks."
"I see."
Lily fingered a loose strand of hair. "And what if Tom finds out I'm Muggle-born?"
She didn't say this aloud, but she thought it so loudly she wondered that Severus couldn't hear the echoes inside her head.
The evening quickly turned chilly, and, thanking and re-thanking Severus for the cloak he'd given her, Lily pulled it out of her trunk and spent a comfortable evening in the library, which was twice as large as the one at Hogwarts, twice as comfortable, and about twenty-six times more beautiful. The bookshelves, thousands upon thousands, weren't all ebony, but they were painted a beautiful midnight black with green velvet cushions on the shelves so that the old books that the Malfoy family owned wouldn't get banged up by the wooden shelf-edges.
The fire was in a fireplace seven feet wide and about six feet high; an elaborately carved mantlepiece of ebony splashed with silver and emeralds hung over it, supporting two large but delicate candelabras. The large couch was dark green with a silvery shine and carved legs. Fifteen feet long, it provided a comfortable place for about seven people to sprawl on. The rug in front of the fireplace, almost thirty feet square, was the house's traditional silver and green, with a pattern of serpents woven into the shimmering threads. Four other armchairs, made in the same fashion as the sofa, surrounded the average-sized table in the center and made a quaint little circle. And around the chairs the walls of the book-cases loomed high, lit at intervals of about five feet by a candelabra, on a stand about four feet in the air. It was a sort of welcoming atmosphere to Lily, but she knew Petunia would run screaming out of the mansion at the sight of all the 'scary snakies and the darkie places'.
The next morning, Mr. Malfoy got in touch with the Ministry of Magic and asked them to contact Lily's family for them, since repeated efforts of theirs had been fruitless. And around five, an answer came by owl, addressed to Lily.
Dear Miss Evans,
We have located your parents and are pleased to enclose a letter from them. You have their permission to stay at Mr. Malfoy's for the rest of the summer.
The enclosure read:
Lily, dear,
I know how worried you must have been when we didn't show up to pick you up. Truth is, it went straight clean out of my head. I might as well tell you this now-your mother's sick. Not headache-sick, but double pneumonia sick. On top of that, she was visiting someone who had another guest: a lady with a daughter with typhoid and we don't know if she has that, too. Petunia's out of the house, and you're doing the same until your mother gets well. I love you, doll, and you've got free license to spend what ever you want in Diagon Alley or anywhere else. I'm enclosing the key to your vault.
I wish I could say all I want to, but it would scare you right out of your senses. Your mother is. Out of her senses, I mean. The whole delirious thing. Well-all I want to say is be good and don't come home on pain of death. Seriously.
I love you, and your mother would send her love if she knew I was writing to you,
--Dad
Lily looked up from her letter, released her freely bleeding lip, and nodded slowly. Severus looked over, curiously.
"Lily, what is it?"
She handed him the letter wordlessly, not even bothering to wipe the trickle of blood away from her chin. Severus skimmed through it, reached into the bottom of the envelope, took out the small golden key, and turned to Lily.
"Burn?"
Lily, eyes strained and almost all white, nodded her head in small jerks. Severus pushed the letters and envelope into the fire and pulled out a tissue, wiping her face off. She didn't move, and he put an arm around the cold marble statue for comfort, but the only thing about her that moved when he did so was the long red hair that settled against the back of the couch.
A door behind them creaked, but neither of them looked up till Lucius' voice came from directly behind them.
"Severus, you nuts?"
Severus jumped up, pulling his arm away.
"Lucius, long story. Not now, though."
Lucius frowned. "All right, then, fine, if you don't want to tell me. But our parents're taking us out to eat at that Japanese restaurant in Fraeden Square. You two want to get ready?"
Severus leaned down to Lily and gently shook her shoulders. She snapped out of her trance with a start.
"Lily?"
She spoke in a dry, dead, hardened voice. "What?"
"You need to eat something. Come on; we're going out with Lucius' parents."
Like a baby, Lily allowed herself to be lifted and led out of the library.
He led her to her room, opened a closet, and pulled out a dark dress, rather formal, which he laid across knees.
"Lily, c'mon. You'll be all right. She isn't dead, is she? Well then. It'll be all right. Trust me." Hesitating a bit, he leaned over and gave her a quick hug, then quickly left the room.
Lily heard the door close, and, as if in a dream, she stood up and changed into the long dress. Black, it went up to her throat and down to her feet, trailing a bit. It reached down to her wrists, with bits of black lace scattered about her neck, wrists, and hem. Her hair had been slowly turning darker over the last year, and it was no longer a rusty orange, but a reddish-orange, and, combed and scattered about her shoulders, it would have made her beautiful. Except for one thing.
No woman, ever, had an expression on her face like Lily did then. In the space of fifteen minutes, the life had gone out of her face and she was left with a colorless, white face. Litharelen had a moonshine tinge to her skin, but Lily's face could have been shaded with Professor McGonagall's board chalk. The skin about her cheeks was drawn, and shadows under her eyes were prominent. Almost unnaturally, her eyebrows cut vivid lines in her forehead, and her lips were pale and cracked, bleeding in several places. The usually alive, deep, forest green mirrors that served her as eyes were now dead, almost black; the green tinge had vanished almost completely. Her eyes were, as usual, rimmed with the bristly dark lashes with a tilt to them at the ends, but, now more than ever contrasting so sharply with the red of her hair, they didn't accent her eyes; they imprisoned them behind bars.
She noticed vaguely that the dress she was wearing was terribly like a mourning dress, but she pushed that fact out of her mind, and went downstairs, sitting down across from where Severus and Lucius were standing, as far away from any sort of light as possible.
The boys had noticed her as she came down, but they were a bit too amazed to move. The black dress draped about her, giving her the look of a Greek statue, and her red locks draped around her, forming the only jewelry she needed. But, pretty as she could have been, she was the perfect image of pain, with her knuckles white as she clenched the folds of her dress in one hand and the paleness of her face. Almost ghostly, she half-impressed, half frightened the two boys as they stood next to the banister. Severus had just finished telling Lucius what happened, and both of them moved over quickly.
"Lily?"
"Ssht. She's not all right-not yet. Lily, anything we can do for you-"
She spoke as if from a dead person's throat, but politely. "No, thank you. I'm quite all right." She turned away, against the wall.
"You're not all right. Don’t try that. But, Lily, as long as you need anyone, we're here for you."
Unwillingly, Severus gave a small gasp as Lily turned her face towards him. The bones of her skull were stretching through her cheeks, and she seemed several inches away from death. He could see the hollows in the bone where her eyes were and the bone that formed her jaw. But a rustling made him turn away.
"Severus? Lucius? Lily? We're ready. Are you coming?"
Severus lifted Lily to her feet and helped her towards Lucius' mother, clothed in a spring-blue, off-the-shoulder gown with a long dark blue cloak around her shoulders. Fair hair dressed up off of her shoulders and accented with a silver tiara, she appeared the very picture of all that was perfect. But she quickly took in Lily's state, recognized the mouthings "Her mother" from Lucius, and immediately sank to her knees and gathered the small twelve-year-old in a large hug. Lily felt something inside of her snap, and, though she didn't start to cry, she wrapped her arms around the comforting person that seemed to understand everything.
When they arrived at the restaurant, even in her detached state, Lily couldn't help but wonder at the beautiful surroundings. The ceiling was covered with black velvet and dotted everywhere with stars, and the carpet was a thick scarlet. The entrance portals were guarded by two stone dragons, and the walls at either side of the gold-enscribed door were huge fish tanks, with coral reefs and water plants and tropical fish swimming around. The waitress that greeted them was dressed in an immaculate kimono, scarlet, embroidered all over with gold thread. Her hair was gathered away from her face and pulled back in a sort of rope-like twist, and through it she had put black chopsticks with gold lettering on them. And the table she led them to, after bowing low, was almost breathtaking.
If Lily hadn't seen the Malfoy's mansion and Eva's house beforehand, she would have been breathless. It was an enclosed booth; the walls were draped with painted silk scrolls and red silk curtains-the ceiling was the same black with stars. The table was covered with a creamy white cloth placed over a scarlet one, and the scarlet showed through. The plates on the table were fine china with blue paintings done by hand, and the chopsticks lying next to every place were of the same china with blue characters on it. The cup for tea was of the same eggshell-like china, as was the beautiful steaming teapot in the center. Rather nervous, and praying she wouldn't break anything, Lily took her place between the two boys. They helped her order, and once the waitress had brought hot, but not too hot soup and given each person a small bowl, they started to talk. Mrs. Malfoy was smiling slightly.
"So, Lily, you like this place?"
"Do I like this place? It's-it's-I don't know what to say. It's amazing!"
She nodded. "It's one of the most expensive places in the Alley maze. And you can obviously see why!"
"Of course I can-wait-the Alley maze?"
Mrs. Malfoy frowned slightly. "Well, Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley, Fraeden Square, Madraiden Place, Firestream Lane…well, you know. At least, you should."
"Oh, that." Lily nodded quickly and swallowed the rest of her soup. "Of course I know about them. It's just-it's just that my family calls them the Alley Divisions." Quickly shooting a questioning and half-frightened glance at Severus and Lucius to see if her cover had gone over well, she received two relieved approbations. She breathed more normally and picked up her chopsticks for the well-seasoned steamed rice.
They left the restaurant an hour and a half later, and Lily had been terribly thankful when she saw the bill and knew that Mr. Malfoy was paying for her. Fifty Galleons per person! Yeah, it was the most expensive restaurant around here!
When they got back home, Lily quickly changed into her black nightgown and slipped between the comforters. Someone had graciously slipped a hot-water bottle between the blankets, so she warmed up quickly after the chilly night air. Then her thoughts drifted back to her mother. Her first memory of her…they were sitting on a balcony, and her mother was doing her hair. She had seen one of her friends down in the street and had jumped up, making her mother yank her hair.
The day she got her letter for Hogwarts.
Her last birthday and the cake her mother baked.
The smiles on her mother's face when Lily stepped off of the train.
Her mother, sitting in an armchair, crocheting a tiny sweater for that baby that never came.
Buying her fencing equipment. Taking her to practice. Watching Gone with the Wind and drinking hot cocoa with a touch of hazelnut. Reading Agatha Christie books and eating pretzels. Picking wildflowers in the field just beyond that building site near their house. Riding the horses that were at the nearby college's equitation stables. Shopping for dishes after Lily had broken the old set. Doing…oh, hundreds of things, hundreds of things Lily seriously doubted she would ever do again. She fell asleep, and if anyone had come in, they would have been crying at the pained expression her face held even in her sleep.
The next morning, Severus walked into the room first. He drew aside the curtains at the window and then at the four-poster, knowing that if she were left alone she'd torture herself with thoughts of her mother.
"Lily! Wake up!"
She shot straight up in bed. "Huh? What? Oh, it's you. Hi." She flopped back onto her pillow.
"Come on! We're going to Diagon Alley today. Fortescue's got some new ice cream in. Wonderful day outside. Practically seventy degrees already, and it isn't ten yet. Come on, outta bed!" He pulled the covers off of her, and, expecting to shiver, she pulled her nightgown over her feet.
"Wh-Whoa! It really is seventy degrees outside!" She pulled the nightgown off of her arms, where it clung to her skin damply.
"'Course it is. You up for ice cream?"
Lily shrugged. "Sure, whatever. Go away."
"'Scuse you?"
"If you want me to go for ice cream, you'd better expect me to go there dressed. And I'm not changing in front of you. Go away."
"Oh, come on, why not? I think Lucius has an old ducky bathrobe you can wear-"
"SEVERUS, YOU WERE TO KEEP SHUT ABOUT THAT BATHROBE!"
"I told you he did. Whatcha gonna wear?"
"Oh…" Lily shrugged and slipped off of the mattress. "Anything that's clean."
"Have it your way. You might want to wear something that's cool, though, because it's gonna be hot as-as-"
"As what?"
"As your temper. Come on. I'm leaving, you get dressed." He suited the action to the word and left her to do the same.
She did so, quickly, in a black shirt; short-sleeved, and long dark pants. Lily wasn't feeling up to dressing brightly after she had received the news about her mother, so she picked out her darkest things, took off every bit of jewelry, and let her hair hang the way it had the other night. When she inspected her face in the mirror, it was still white and drawn, and her cheekbones were more prominent than ever. She hadn't cried yet, thinking with an absurd self-made superstition that if she did, her mother would die. Keeping back her tears took no effort at all, surprisingly, and, after turning away from the mirror abruptly, she took her purse out of her trunk and walked downstairs.
Severus and Lucius were waiting for her there. Thankfully, they showed no sign of surprise at the way she looked, which was, to say the least, terrible. Severus simply took her arm, which was shaking slightly, and escorted her to the great fire to the left of the stairways. He took a pinch of green powder from a silver basin, threw it into the roaring flames, which turned a sickly green, and stepped inside, shouting, "Diagon Alley!" and pulling Lily along with him.
"Close your eyes!" was the last thing Lily heard before they were caught in a whirlwind of soot, and when she opened them, the world had stopped spinning and she was standing inside the fireplace of a room she had seen once before; the main room of the Leaky Cauldron, and she caught glimpses of faces she knew all too well but was too strained to recognize.
Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus were sitting at a table, counting money and comparing purchases. Their eyes, along with Miranda's, Ashley's, and John's, who were sitting nearby, widened in a sort of horror when they saw Lily and Severus materialize, and Lily hanging onto his arm with a dead white face and for dear life.
James jumped up first. "Lily, are you mad! What're you doing with him?"
His voice reached her faintly, and she turned the saddest eyes he had ever seen on him. The hurt in her expression was as hard to miss as the fact that the universe existed, and it froze James in the stance he was in, half out of his chair.
The skin on her face was so thin and taut, it seemed that if one touched it with a knife, it would snap away in different directions. Her jaw was set, and those eyes-those eyes. They had summoned all of the pain anyone on the world had ever felt, emotional and physical, and stored them inside those two small orbs. He had never seen a sight like that before, and it was only when Severus steered her out of the back door and had shut it that he sprang to life.
"What-what was wrong with her? Sirius, you saw-you saw her! What's he doing to her?"
Sirius had drawn inside himself, and his voice came out thickly. "I-don't-know-"
"Well, if it's Snape that's making her--" He jumped up and Sirius had to catch him, and even then he needed Remus' assistance.
"James-it's not Snape. No kid could make her feel that way-I don't think-I don't think you want to interfere."
James was still straining, but at those words he turned around and faced Sirius squarely. "What do you mean?"
"I wish I knew. I wish I knew."
The next time James saw Lily, she was absent-mindedly drinking a cup of strong coffee, and the circles under her eyes were starting to grow more lavender, and had addend wrinkles. He didn't stop, but went right on inside the Quidditch store. Severus noticed him, even if Lily didn't.
"Lily?"
She didn't move, but Severus knew she had heard him.
"Lily, I don't know what it is about him. He keeps showing up wherever you are-keeps attacking me or trying to whenever I'm with you-" His voice trailed off.
"I know. I've wondered about that, too." Her voice was so drawn-out that every word was spoken after an interval of five seconds.
That evening, she undressed and got into her nightgown, remembering the last time she'd seen James. He was coming out of a shop she was going into, and he just stared at her. A blank stare; nothing else. After they had stopped up the doorway for about thirty seconds, someone roughly pushed Lily inside, and she fell, skinning her palms on the carpet. James had made a move to go inside after her, but the crowd had forced him back onto the street.
Opening the trunk to get her brush out, Lily came across the tiny casket that held the elf-nymph necklace. She hesitated a bit, but then pulled it out and knocked it against the wall, clutching the chain tightly in her fist.
Lily landed softly in a large wave, and, spitting out mouthfuls of the water, she climbed onto dry land.
It was night, and the stars twinkled in the heavens like the glimmers on the water's surface. Shivering slightly, she jumped as a form jumped out from behind a rock.
"Lily?"
"Tom?"
"Yeah, it's me. We've been waiting for you-"
"What for?"
"Long story. I need your help."
Lily was a bit stunned. "My help? I'm only thirteen-what-?"
"I'll explain. Come." He took her hand and led her behind the rocky cave that had sheltered him. They sat down on two raised rocks, and Tom pulled out a book, flipping to a page somewhere in the middle.
"See this?" He handed the book to her, pointing to the right-hand page.
"Traummacht Potion. What about it?"
"I found this book of my mother's, and she spelled it so it can only be opened by doing this spell and drenching the book in this potion. Weird, I know, but-"
"But what?"
"But I don't have all the ingredients."
She was a bit confused. "Where do I come in?"
"I'd like to ask you if you can get them for me."
"What-But Hogwarts' closed over the summer. You'll have to wait."
"I can't. The book stays permanently shut if I don't open it within a month of finding the book. It's been two weeks."
"So-so what do you want me to do?"
He looked at her. "You don't suppose you've already guessed? I need you-you're small, you're young, and no one would arrest you for it."
Lily's smile twinkled. "When do I start?"
She returned to the Malfoy's a few minutes later, with a few hurried instructions. The first thing that caught her eye when she landed on the bed was an owl, large and tawny, with a letter clamped in its beak. With shaking hands, she tore the envelope open and pulled one of two sheets of parchment out.
Dear Miss Evans,
We regret to inform you that you mother has passed away. We offer our sincerest sympathies to you and your family. If you have any requests or questions, please write to the Ministry of Magic, Department 226.
Peter Bartlett, Head of Department 226.
Lily was already sitting, and that was a good thing, for her knees would have buckled. As it was, her eyes simply widened, her lips grew a shocked almost transparent, as she was pressing them together so hard, and her complexion paled even more, if that was at all possible, and the circles around her eyes quickly deepened to a dark purple. She shed no tear; she simply reached inside the envelope and pulled the other sheet out with badly shaking hands.
Lily, dear,
The Ministry wrote to you to tell you-but I want you to know something. Your mother passed away quietly; she was in no pain and she was conscious at the end. Love, her last words were, "I love you, Lil dear." I can't write much anymore-except that her funeral's going to be three weeks from now. She already bought your birthday present-I'll send it along with some of the things she wanted you to have. I can't write anymore-only please don't come home immediately. I need to be alone for a bit.
Love, Dad.
Lily dropped back onto the bed. She didn't move for the rest of the night, and she didn't shed a single tear. But when Severus came in next morning at around nine, he ran for Mrs. Malfoy. From his jumbled message she could only understand a few words-"Lily-dead-terrible-come see!", but she nevertheless raced to Lily's room and stopped short when she saw the limp figure on the bed.
She did indeed look dead. Eyes rimmed with black, open and glassy, standing out horribly against her chalky textured skin, hair everywhere, and taut skin with bones practically showing through, she was the very picture of something out of Edgar Allen Poe's stories. She was lying in an odd position on the bed, and two sheets of parchment and an envelope were lying next to her. One sheet was clutched so forcibly in her hand that after a few attempts to detach it, they gave up and picked up the other sheet. There was complete silence in the room as the paper was passed from hand to hand.
Lucius spoke first. "Mum-do you-do you think she's-she's-"
"I don't know. I'll find out, though-"
With trembling fingers, Mrs. Malfoy pulled out her wand.
"Ennervate!"
To the great relief of everyone in the room, Lily blinked once and sat up groggily. Then her gaze fell on the sheet she was clutching, and her lips went white again.
Severus approached her hesitantly. "Lily? You-you all right?"
She spoke in a croaking voice, all the beautiful entrancing tone gone; spoke out of cracked lips that bled, washing away the deathly whiteness of her chin in a stream of blood. "Yes. No. I-that is, I'm fine."
Severus and Lucius looked at each other, then back at her. "Lily, anything we-we can do?"
She shook her head. "No. Please-please go away."
"You sure-"
"GO AWAY!"
They flinched and left her to herself, closing the door. Outside, Mrs. Malfoy rushed to the small office to pen a note to a medical hospital, and Lily was alone.
She stood up with small, jerking movements. Like a wooden puppet, she moved over to the window, having caught a glimpse of a black figure moving towards her. She flung the window open and jumped out of the way as a large owl dropped off a package. It was wrapped in brown packaging paper, and Lily tore it off quickly, finding a small note.
Lily, dear, this is what your mother wanted you to have. She left these things to you, and I know you'll take good care of them.
--Dad
Biting her lip hard, she removed the rest of the packaging and discovered several things wrapped in newspaper. Unfolding one, she caught sight of something she knew all too well.
It was the set of golden candlesticks her mother had on the sideboard. They were delicately shaped and formed-they had been in the family for over three hundred years. Lily set them aside carefully and pulled another package out.
This one she also knew. It was the golden-hilted dagger her mother had worn in several plays when she was younger-along with the hair-ornament that served as a sheath. Flooding her came small memories of her mother-
Lightfooted, smiling, and laughing, Mrs. Evans was dressed in a medieval noble dress Lily had dragged down from the attic. She was inserting the poniard into her concealing sheath-then picked up the old script of The Three Musketeers. Striking a ferocious pose, she swerved towards Lily, pulling out the dagger.
"Ah, wretch! You have basely insulted me-and more, you have my secret! You shall die!" Running wildly towards Lily, who ran out of the way in pretended fear, she caught her small six-year-old around the waist and swung her high into the air, both of them laughing as their red hair got entangled with the other's.
The next thing Lily pulled out was a collection of books. The complete Agatha Christie-both cloth-bound Rudyard Kipling's Jungle Books, two series of Robin Hood adventures, Robinson Crusoe, the complete Shakespeare, marked at intervals with the parts she had played. Lily ran her fingers over the spine of the books, eyes closed, the closest to crying she had been since she got the first letter from the Ministry of Magic and her father. Warmth flooded her from the gilded, deerskin, leather, and cloth covers of the books her mother had most loved.
The lumpy package was one Lily smiled to see. They were her mother's old tap shoes-she had worn them in several performances of musicals, and Lily had never tired of putting them on and tapping around the house in them when she had been younger. Even though they were close to fifteen years old, they only had a few real scratches, and those could be easily fixed with shoe polish. Lily touched the small straps, smiling to think of the small feet her mother had had.
There was only one thing left; a dark blue box wrapped with pale cream ribbon. A note slipped in the bindings said, in her mother's handwriting, Happy birthday, dear! Lily paused, then, gently, removed the ribbon and top of the box.
Reaching inside, she touched something hard. Pulling the contents out, she discovered something she'd seen in a Muggle store and always wished for, but it had been too expensive…
A case of drawing pencils, along with drawing paper, was enclosed. A sharpener and eraser accompanied it; also a pack of paints and brushes. There was a book, too-Faeries-one with beautiful and exotic drawings of tiny fairies. Lily smiled as she thought of the pictures open to her now that she had a few models…
There was something else. Her mother had sent her a few clothes-Lily, dear, I just wanted to get these for you. I know you might not want them, but I'm making the gesture anyway. There were several shirts: one emerald green with long sleeves and sparkling earrings to match, another a deep burgundy, also long-sleeved, with deep garnet earrings set in gold, and a short-sleeved blue shirt with a sapphire necklace. She had also put a pair of black jazz pants into the pile, and two pairs of blue jeans, which, Lily was touched to discover, fit her perfectly.
She squeezed her eyes shut, then stood up. She quickly slid into the black jazz pants and the burgundy shirt, putting on the earrings and a gold chain with a garnet pendant that she had loved when she was younger. Slipping her feet into the tap shoes and brushing her hair till it shone in the glimmering light, she picked up Macbeth and went downstairs to the library.
As she sat in the large armchair, curled up with what seemed like her mother's hair surrounding her; it was so long, and whispering out loud the parts of Macbeth and seeming to hear a dramatic voice, the voice of her mother, speak the role of Macbeth's wife, she felt strangely comforted. She felt as if her mother was in the room with her, holding her in her arms. And so immersed was she in the past and the complete peacefulness of that moment that she almost leaped out of the chair in shock and astonishment when someone lightly touched her shoulder.
"Severus! You scared me half to death!"
He didn't say anything; he was merely looking at her.
"What? Did I just sprout a multicolored mole out of my head?"
He shook himself. "No-it's not-Lily, your mother just died, and you're walking around in red and gold?"
Lily had forgotten, for the moment, that her mother would no longer be there to welcome her home, and she turned away, to the fire.
"Severus-it's not-not-Mother sent these to me. She meant to give them as a birthday present…but it was too late-" Lily turned back towards Severus, and he was sorry he had ever mentioned her mother. The skull-like appearance her face had had was lost when he had come into the library, and now it was back, full force, and twice as pained.
He moved over to her and took her by the shoulders. "Lily, cry if you want to. We know how much you loved her…go ahead, cry."
A small vision passed in front of Lily's eyes. It was that train trip home during the Easter holidays, and James was in the carriage with her.
"Please don't cry-never mind. Cry if you want to-it's the holding back of tears that makes people so terribly hard. Cry if you want to."
Lily backed away, astonishment in her eyes. Severus looked a bit hurt.
"What? Did I do something terrible?"
She frowned. "No-no-no-" Her voice broke. "Please go away," she whispered in a rather croaking sound. Severus' face didn't lose its hurt, but he nevertheless complied and left Lily by herself.
She meant to go back to the armchair and resume her reading, but her gaze was intercepted by the sight of parchment, a lit candle, several quills, and ink. Moving slowly, she stepped towards the small table and picked up a quill.
Eva,
Mother died two days ago. I don't feel up to telling people why I'm walking around like a moving corpse, so please do that for me. And I'm probably not going to be coming the first few weeks of school; this is just to explain why. If you want to send me an owl, I'll be at Lucius' place. Lucius Malfoy, that is. I don't want to write anymore, but I thought I should pen this bit. Please don't write back giving me your sincerest sympathies; I feel as if I just might totally break down if I saw that written. I also want you to come to her funeral: three weeks from now. I'll tell you once I have the exact date and time and place.
-Lily
Folding the letter up, Lily stuck it inside an envelope, dropped a bit of cream-colored wax on the flap and pressed her small golden ring into it. Picking up Macbeth, she went upstairs to get Alisande to deliver her letter.
Watching her owl fly away over the treetops, she felt even more saddened, as if writing that her mother was dead had made it even more of a reality.
That night, she returned to the Alendoren Cove.
"Tom, I don't know if I can do this."
"What-why not?"
"My mother just died. I can't-I can't-"
He bit his lip, then fumbled through pages and pages of notes, finally stopping at one long roll of parchment.
"Lily, this is part of what's in the book. Read it."
A bit bewildered, Lily took the sheet and read the line at which Tom's finger pointed.
"Vomtodauferstanden spell. But what-"
"Read the explanation."
She complied, in a shaking voice, for she had comprehended the meaning of the swirly, curlicued title.
"Bringt Eure Verlorenen wieder auf die Erde. Mit nur einem Buch und nur sieben Zutaten werden Eure sehnlichsten Wünshe wieder wahr. Brings your lost ones back to the Earth. With only one book and only seven ingredients will your greatest wishes become true. Tom-" She broke off with a flaming desire in her eyes.
"Tom-really?"
He nodded. "Really. That's one of the reasons I'm so worried to get that book open-that's the book it's talking about. I want my mother-you want yours-don't you see?"
Lily nodded with a set face. "I see. List, please."
He handed her a short bit of parchment with some names written on it. "You're positive you want to do this?"
Lily turned to him. "Tom, I want my mother back more than anything else in the world. You know that. And I'll do anything to get her back, just as-just as I believe you would. Goodbye." She left the cave and went around to the other side of it, and there struck the elf-nymph necklace on the boulders. Spinning through a whirlwind of blackness, she landed on her bed at the Malfoys. It was still dark outside, and Lily blessed her stars for that. Quickly slipping off the tap shoes, all the jewelry except the elf-nymph necklace, and the burgundy turtleneck, she donned soft, almost slipper-like black velvet shoes with cloth soles that were in the closet, a black turtleneck with dark gloves, and the cloak Severus had given her. Pulling the cloak's hood over her head and tying it with the wide black ribbons, she bound a small bag about her waist and opened the window, letting in warm night air.
She had been walking around outside earlier that day, with Severus and Lucius, and she had made an especial note of how the walls were formed and which windows were placed where. Stepping deftly from one piece of carved stone to another, she managed to get down to the lawn without slipping once. A small shadow flitted across the lawns, and Lily was drifting nimbly between the trees of the dark forest.
On the other side, she came out on the edge of a meadow, and beyond the meadow, she could see the outlines of buildings, their backs to her, black against an even blacker sky.
Dashing across the meadow, silently, she reached the stone constructions and smiled grimly as she slipped through a side alley and found herself pressed against the walls of Knockturn Alley.
Lily could see that this place wasn't as well kept as Diagon Alley or Firestream Lane; hags were snoozing all around her, one with a pitcher covered with a slimy sort of liquid, another wrapped in a cloak that had once been animal fur, but the fur was falling out in patches and only left the greasy skin behind. Somewhere down the street, a few people were dancing around a fire and shooting red and blue sparks into the air, but Lily shrugged them off, putting all of her attention into the reading of the signs above the stores.
"Bromin's Antiques-no-Higginson and Dowell-nope…what's that?" Her eyes glistened with a wild fever as she spotted a small store, almost hidden in the gloom. "Hiscock's Potions!" Her lips curved up as she deftly wound her way around the sleeping figures and trash cans in the alley. The only noise she had made since she had left the house was when she had mumbled the names of the stores to herself, and now, just as silently, she pulled a small chisel out of the bag she'd tied to her waist in the dormitory and started to work on the faulty lock on the door. She had learned how to pick locks one afternoon when she was six and bored, so this was child's play for her.
After only about five seconds, the lock sprang open with a click, and, with a small creaking sound, the door swung open. Lily felt no fear, only a sort of exhilaration as she took another glance at her list.
"Hiscock's Potions-three tablespoons ground werewolf fur." Quietly as a shadow, she started moving through the store, checking shelves and pulling off boxes. With a small gasp of triumph, she spotted a box way back in one of the lower shelves, labeled Ww.Fur. She pulled it out and took a handful of the fur, stuffing it into her bag. Replacing the box and re-locking the door, Lily moved back out. No one had even suspected that there had been a thief in the potions shop.
When she re-emerged, she was quick to notice that there was a faint golden glow amongst the black clouds in the east. Flitting among the alleys and trees, she made it back to her room without anyone noticing her. She opened the window to admit her, slipped inside, and pulled the cloak close around her, hearing the soft pads of a house-elf on the carpet outside. She climbed into her bed, drew the covers around her neck, and partly closed her eyes.
A small elf, looking very like Minky, came in with a small house-elf baby strapped to her back. The baby, like its mother, had large, green, tennis-ball eyes and batlike ears, and it was sleeping peacefully. The mother knelt down at the fire, fussed a bit with tongs and the poker, and left the room with a roaring fire behind her. The baby started to cry just as she left the room, and Lily could distinctly hear the mother say, "Dobby, hush!"
Quickly, Lily sat up in bed and pulled the elf-nymph necklace out from under her shirt. Knocking it against the four-poster, she landed just outside Tom's cave. She had just time to hide the necklace before he emerged and came towards her with a greedy gleam in his eyes.
"You got it?"
Lily nodded. "Yes." She burrowed around in her bag and came up with the fur. "I'll get two or three tomorrow-it was just too late tonight."
Tom accepted the handful with a covetous grasp. He vanished into the cave, with a whispered, "Thanks a million. But you'd better get back; they'll be wondering where you are."
She followed his advice and got back to her room, changing quickly into her black nightgown. Lily even had time for a three-hour nap before Severus knocked at the door and took her down to breakfast.
The rest of the day passed in a flash. Lily had a hard time keeping her excitement about seeing her mother again soon, but she nevertheless managed it, without the help of makeup. They spent the day in the pool behind the Malfoy's mansion, and Severus and Lucius were relieved to see that she was being carefree once more, and that her face looked less strained after she beat them at the amount of laps they could swim without coming up for air. Lily won six to three to two and half.
The next night, Lily was off again, this time to Fraeden Square for the plant part of a two-week-old Mandrake. No one noticed the tiny shadow slipping in and out of darkness, least of all the sleeping baby Mandrake. She came close to being discovered when she accidentally knocked off the lid of a trash can, but the small homeless troll simply sat up, snorted a few times, and went back to sleep. Lily started moving again as soon as she heard the snoring.
The next place she broke into was a home. It was, like the Malfoy's mansion, large, grand, and imposing, but the difference was that this home had no magical alarm. Lily was a bit disappointed, as she had practiced her disabling spell in her room that evening, but she nevertheless made it inside with the help of the chisel and a screwdriver as long as her finger.
