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Welcome to Heart's Flight, my poetry section. These are a few of many poems I've written, as well some written by others. I hope you will enjoy them.
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Silent crystal tears running down a face once warm and glowing. Warmed by the love of your heart, and glowing from the new yet familiar love of your soul. Your love once held the key to part of my heart and soul which I never knew was empty until you opened the lock, walked inside, and filled me completely. Filled the emptiness with love and emotions I've never experienced or knew existed. Once, only you filled me completely. You had a part of my heart and all of my soul, which I gave to you freely. As long as you held me within you, time may stand still but love will never cease. But now we are apart... as long as you hold my soul I will be empty because I can never love another as I once loved you. I used to await the bright day when we would be together again for eternity and beyond, as much as I dreaded the starless night that had no end if you and your love was taken from me. Now I am that bright day and also that starless night because I am still here and you are not. My soul once laid safe and secure within yours. My heart once was in your hands. Once, silent crystal tears fell from unicorn eyes into a moon-kissed waterfall where a black panther once came to walk my dreams.
©9/5/97
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Please tell me if you love me, this earthly woman with the essence of a mystical unicorn. Can you love the hazel-gray eyes which have seen pain? Can you love the ample body that bear scars of humiliation? Can you love the heart shattered too many times by rejection? Can you love the soul that has known loneliness and yearning, and yet be called pure by others? Please tell me if the panther who walks my dreams could love and want this solitary unicorn who has almost stopped dreaming, wishing, hoping... believing? Tell me if our souls could be as close as clock hands at midnight. If not then like Cinderella's spell my heart will shatter and fade away, but I will survive and go on somehow. Just don't leave me wondering, waiting, hoping, wishing, believing as I have done for so long. I need to know the truth more than anything in this universe, even if that truth hurts so I can heal the scars faster in the best way I know how. I need to know if what we had shared meant as much as we had given to each other. If you feel you cannot love me anymore... Then let us part and remain dear friends forever. I would rather have you as my friend in this lifetime than know that I had lost your love for eternity.
©9/6/97
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I still love, even after loving someone that didn't return my love. I still dream, after someone took my dreams from me and crushed them under foot. I continue to reach out because I'm not afraid of falling... since I already fell a long time ago and I've learned how to fly high and free. I continue caring because someone cares for me. I've swallowed the bitterest pill, survived poisonous venom, healed the wounds in my heart, body, mind and soul...
I still love. I've dealt with the past, learned from it, moving on to the future. I'm free as moonlight, as the stars dancing in the cloak of Lady Night. I'm not afraid of pain or hurt because I have more power over them. They do not lord over me. My future is of my own design. If I stop loving, caring, reaching... Then I've stopped living. The soul is free and the heart has a mind of its own. Who am I to try and tame them, control them?
I still love... I still live.
©12/02/97
To Stefan
Fear
Fear is the color of midnight, the sound of unknown demons calling your name. Fear is fire, and storm, and places unspeakably cold with the winds of life. Fear is walking along a dark unalterable path and suddenly realizing that the path goes nowhere. And that you must forever tread it. Alone.
©12/02/97
Women Who Run With the Wolves
A healthy woman is much like a wolf - robust, inventive, loyal, fierce. Yet separation from her wildish nature causes a woman to become meager, ghostly, anxious about leaping, fearful to create new life. With the wild nature as ally and teacher, we see not through two eyes only, but through the many eyes of intuition. With intuition we are like the starry night, we gaze at the world through a thousand eyes. The archetype of the Wild Woman carries los bultos, all the bundles for healing and meaning. She carries all the medicines of stories, words, and songs, all the mending tools of dances signs and symbols. She is both vehicle and destination. She is the essence of the female soul. No matter how many times she is cut back, or called unsafe, dangerous, useless or mad, she rises through the psyche regardless. Even La sombre, the most restrained, keeps a secret place for the wild nature. Even La cautiva, the most captured woman, is waiting for an opportunity to hightail it to freedom. All women are born gifted. To live close to the instinctual nature does not mean to become undone. It means to establish one's creative territory, find one's pack, be in one's body with certainty and pride. It means to act in one's behalf, to find what one belongs to. It means to rise with dignity, to proceed as a powerful being who is friendly but never tame. The Wild Woman is the one who thunders in the face of injustice. She is the one who keeps a woman going when she thinks she's done for. The Wild Woman is fluent in the language of dreams, images, passion and poetry. No act of love or social justice occurs without her. She lives in women everywhere; in the barrios and in the boardroom, in the prison and on the mountain at the fire, in the penthouse and on the night bus to Brownsville. She is the mother of El duende, the goblin wind of creativity. She leaves footprints behind for us to try on for size. Whether you are possessed of a simple heart or the ambitions of an Amazon, whether you are trying to make it to the top or just make it through tomorrow, whether you be spicy or somber, regal or roughshod - the wild nature belongs to you. Para Vida, for true life, both must live.
© Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Ph.D.
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