Once upon a time, oh about 10 years ago, my dad had a dog named Max the Rental Dog. Now the reason that we called Max this is that he wasn't our dog. He came with a rental house, and he refused to leave. Hence the name. Max the Rental Dog actually belonged to Johnny, who was the landlord's nephew. Johnny was the previous tenant, and got Max as a young pup. He was a VERY mixed breed dog. Max lived on the back porch, and while he would come in the house from time to time, he liked to lay on the porch and watch the grass grow. So he lived on the back porch and was chained there all safe and sound. All was well, and Max was happy. Then one day about 2 years later, Johnny moved. He took Max to their new home, which was about a mile and a half away. My dad moved into the rental house. Max was sad. He knew that he did not belong in this new house. He belonged at the other house, on the back porch where he could lie and watch the grass grow. Max decided that he would not stay at the new house, where he did not belong. He slipped his collar, which he had never done before, and he went in search of the house with the back porch where he could lie and watch the grass grow. Johnny was upset. Max was missing for 2 days. Then Johnny's uncle (who lived across the street) saw Max at the old house. He called Johnny, who came and took Max home. Max was sad. He did not belong here, at the new house. So Max again set out to find the house with his porch and his grass. Since he had made this journey before, it only took him about 10 or 12 hours this time. The next time it took him about 6. The next time it took him about 2, and Johnny was there waiting for him. After that, it took him about half an hour, and that was all the faster that he ever made it... I guess that there were a lot of trees to water along the way or something. Eventually, it became clear that Max refused to live at the new house, where he did not belong, because he belonged at the other house, with the back porch where he could lie and watch the grass grow. So Johnny would bring over food for Max, and would take him to the vet, and my dad would make sure that Max's dishes had plenty of food and water in them. Max the Dog became Max the Rental Dog, and he lived at my dad's rental house, safely chained on the back porch where he could lie and watch the grass grow. One weekend, I had an Army Reserve bivouac not to far from my dad's house. When it was over, I went to visit for a day or so. I let Max the Rental Dog in the house, and I proceeded to unpack my duffle bag. When I took out my bar of Ivory Soap and laid it on the floor, Max came over to investigate. He sniffed the bar of Ivory. Then he licked it. He licked it again. And then he licked it again and again and again. Then he rolled in the bar of Ivory Soap. Then he licked it a few more times and rolled in it again. After about 5 minutes I decided that I either needed to rescue my bar of Ivory Soap, or accede that Max the Rental Dog could keep it. I chose the former. As I was typing this story just now, a thought came to me... I wish that we had video taped this event. Max the Rental Dog could have earned us some money on America's Funniest Videos, The Planet's Funniest Animals, David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks, or in a commercial for Ivory itself! |
[Main Page]
[The Revised Bill of Rights]
[ The Jukebox]
[Photo Album]
[Calvin and Hobbes]
[Links]
[View Guestbook]
[EMAIL ME!]
[Visit MotorCity]
[Ask Stoney -- Stoney the Siberian Husky answers your questions about life, love, and chasing cats]