DATE: April 1, 2000
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Blame Jungle Kitty. She asked for a Rand story for Grace Lee Whitney’s birthday. Blame Wildcat. She started the teasing about switching Spock/Uhura with Sulu/Rand. Blame the spirit of April 1. And then I owed Szaki—one coke—neither shaken nor stirred—she said she wanted some Amercan ethnicism leaking in for a change. Jat-Sapphire took a quick look—but blame me for the result. Of course the next Trek series may be about Sulu and the Excelsior so every Rand story I’ve written or will ever write is likely to be DOA.
© Rabble Rouser 2000
v v v
Commander Janice Rand waited at the bar of the officer’s lounge. Even after
twenty years of being an officer, part of her felt out of place in these plush,
staid surroundings, like she was still a yeoman sent in to look for her
captain. She leaned toward the bartender and placed her order. He nodded at her
request and his eyes scuttled over and past her. It wasn’t that long ago, she
thought sadly, that any hetero man that age would have done a lot more than
just glance. Of course that was half a life-time ago. Hell she didn’t know why
that depressed her. He hardly looked old enough to date her eldest. Well at
least this was San Francisco and the bartender would know how to make a rum and
coke.
“Hi beautiful.”
“Sulu, not even Frank calls me that anymore.”
“Have you checked his pulse?”
Rand laughed and was surprised at how unforced it sounded. Lately all her
smiles and laughs had a brittle edge. Except around Hikaru or Demora. The Sulu
gift was the ability to banish any moroseness at will. Sulu leaned over and
kissed her on the cheek and sat down beside her.
“Congratulations Captain on the Excelsior. It’s past time and well
deserved.”
“She’s a great ship! Have you seen her?” he asked eagerly.
“Yes,” Rand swallowed and tried to keep the wistfulness out of her voice. “Yes
I have, she’s like her new captain. Daring, brash, and more than ready to go.”
Sulu gave her a knowing grin. “Well I also haven’t forgotten what day it is.
Happy Birthday Janice.” He then moved one hand from behind his back and held
out a ring box in the palm of his hand.
Janice felt uneasy. For one moment she thought of an engagement ring and almost
laughed aloud at how absurd a thought that was. Sulu hadn’t dated anyone in the
three years since Sue died and her own divorce from Frank was still painfully
fresh. It had been decades since there had been anything but friendship between
her and Sulu. There had been a possibility of more once. But she knew all too
well that you could not have an intimate relationship with a friend. That ended
the friendship. Either you became much more than friends or far less. She had
needed Sulu as a friend and had not risked it.
When Rand lifted the lid, she couldn’t quite suppress a gasp. It was a latium
pin of a miniature Excelsior. The kind of gift ships’ captains sometimes
gave to their bridge crew.
“This can’t mean what I think it means,” she said flatly blinking away tears. “I
know this is April first but your pranks were never cruel before this.”
Sulu stopped smiling as if she had flipped a switch, and gazed at her
earnestly. “I need a First Officer.”
It was, Rand thought, far too late. She had turned half a century today. Rand
tried for a light tone. “I’m not young anymore. Can’t you see the gouges on my
face?”
“I see a face of character that shows a life well lived and that isn’t afraid
to show it. Seems to me you’ve earned those lines. And these too,” he said
pointedly and tapped the commander insignia on her shoulder. “And if you’re too
old to be a Number One then I’m too old to be a Starship captain, and I’ll
hardly be the oldest. Hell not even Captain Kirk can claim that and he’s older
than either of us.”
“There are people at Starfleet Command who say Captain Kirk’s too old. That he
should step aside for fresh blood.”
“Oh...are the Admirals perhaps meaning to follow that same admonition
themselves?”
Rand made a sound halfway between a snort and a laugh. “Admirals don’t die and
don’t fade away—they hang onto power until they shrivel up in their chairs.
Mostly anyway. Nogura’s set to retire this year and you know he’s stood between
the Captain and courtmartial more than once.”
“Janice, Captain Kirk has his current command directly by the edict of the
Federation Council and President. He’s saved the Earth twice in little more
than a decade.”
“Ah but what has he done for us lately?”
This time Sulu laughed, and it was a rich sound, open and without fear. Rand
envied him that laugh. She’d rather face a fleet of Klingons and Romulans
massed for an attack than spend one more day in the snake pit of Starfleet
Command. The thing is she had been far from joking. She had heard far too much
scuttlebutt on the matter recently to be joking about it. She thought of
reminding Sulu of how the British had quickly turned Churchill out of power
after he had saved the world from the Nazi menace. Three and a half centuries
had changed little about fickle human nature. But she had no wish to cast more
of a shadow on Sulu’s deserved happiness than necessary.
Rand sought to let him down gently. “Sulu, I haven’t served on a Starship for
eight years. I’m no better than a bureaucrat now—Nogura’s flunky.”
“It comes back. You’ll see. Remember the Captain after his years in the
admiralty? It was as if he had never been away from the center seat.”
“I just think you’d be better served by having an exec with more recent deep
space experience.”
“I’m best served by having someone by my side I can trust who I know will put
her duty above ambition.”
“Surely Uhura...”
“Is on the Enterprise and is happy there.”
“She turned you down.” Rand hadn’t put it as a question.
“I didn’t ask. I don’t want Uhura. I want you.”
“Why?”
“Nyota and I are too alike. Didn’t we all learn on the Enterprise the
importance of balance? Of seeing with Kirk and Spock two halves fit together
into more than a whole? Would it surprise you to know that Captain Kirk agrees?
He said that I needed you to keep me grounded.”
“Harumph I bet that’s not quite the way the Captain put it. So I’m supposed to
be there to remind you of the dark clouds gathering at the horizon when you’re
sure the sun will shine all day? Fact is Kirk just doesn’t want you stealing
Nyota out from under him. Are you sure you’re not just trying to recreate the Enterprise?”
“I’m a Starship captain. I can’t afford to make decisions out of nostalgia.
Janice I need you.” Sulu looked at her searchingly and somehow the look on his
face reminded her of Frank all those years ago when he had asked her to marry
him.
Rand thought of all the choices she had made. All the safe, sane wrong choices.
The choice to not tell Jim Kirk she loved him and to transfer off the
Enterprise because she feared rejection only to watch Kirk marry Lori—a
marriage she was sure would be unhappy. The choice to rebuff any signals Sulu
had sent her way that he was attracted to her because she didn’t want to hurt
their friendship only to watch him marry a woman that did make him happy—some
other woman. The choice to marry a man half knowing they couldn’t make each
other happy—because she risked nothing. It was Frank who made his feelings
clear, Frank who asked her to marry him, Frank who promised he’d take care of
any children. And so she had made another series of choices. To leave behind
with Frank two young children in order to pursue her dream of serving again on
a Starship and trying to make up for it with too little, too late these past
eight years as she willingly grounded herself.
And what had she gained? Her misery at being Earthside had made her miserable
to be around. Her husband had left her and Grace and Miri had chosen to stay
with him. Kirk had told her more than once that the only thing that stood
between her and command was her stubborn tendency to always play it safe. It
had stood between far more than her and command she now realized. It had stood
between her and life. Rand lifted the pin from the box and with a steady hand
pined it on her left chest opposite her insignia of rank. “There’s no fool like
an old fool,” she muttered.
“Which of us are you referring to?” Sulu asked cheerfully his smile growing
wider by the second. He gestured at the bartender and whispered something in
his ear.
“You’re sure you’re not going to tell me this is an April Fool’s day joke? This
isn’t exactly an auspicious day for such an offer you know.”
“On the contrary. I can’t think of a better day for a new beginning than your
birthday. You know they say that with all the medical breakthroughs from Doctor
McCoy’s research with the Fabrini the human lifespan may increase to well over
a century. We still have over half of our life ahead of us.”
“That’s the irrepressible optimist I remember—one who sees life as a glass that’s
half full and not half empty.”
The bartender provided two flute glasses and popped the cork to the champagne
bottle with a flourish. He poured the golden liquid to the rim. Sulu lifted one
filled glass in salute. “I see life as an empty vessel—it’s up to us to fill it
to the brim.”
The End.
Please write to me and let me
know what you thought.