GETTING TO KNOW—SULU

 

By Rabble Rouser

 

 

 

NAME:  Hikaru Sulu aka “Sunny”

 

SEX: Plenty, thank you.

 

HOME:  The Enterprise for now—but someday I’m getting a ship of my own.

 

HEIGHT: Don’t call me tiny.

 

EYES: Wicked flashing dark eyes.

 

HAIR:  Black as the void.

 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? Galaxy Quest.

 

WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Huh?

 

FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Starship and Driver.

 

FAVOURITE SMELL:  Uhura’s perfume.

 

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:  Being chased by a Samurai

 

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Chasing Lieutenant Uhura—although if she let me catch her that would be even better.

 

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS:  Sex, fencing, Sex, a little gardening.  Sex…

 

FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: The tape I made of Uhura singing “Beyond Antares.”

 

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS

MORNING?  Sex.

 

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Only when the ship gets tossed from side to side because of one of the fool stunts I’m ordered to put the Enterprise through.

 

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? : Boring.  After serving under Captain Kirk it takes a lot more than an amusement park ride to get my heart rate up.

 

PEN OR PENCIL? : Pencil—I like being able to erase my mistakes.

 

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? :  Hey, Nyota can you get that?

 

FAVOURITE FOODS: A California roll.  What did you expect sushi?  I’m not that ethnic.  Chekov’s the one with that shtick.

 

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? My mom loves me best.

 

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME?  Who me?  Mister sweetness and light?

 

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Can I have some more choices—that sounds boring.

 

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Both—I don’t see any reason to choose.

 

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Yes—although I’d prefer the center seat to the helm.

 

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?  Ewww.  I don’t go for girly stuff.

 

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Uhura would do nicely.  Ouch. Ouch.  Ok now I got the girls mad.

 

IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A tribble.  Then I might finally get Uhura to pet me.

 

THUNDERSTORMS, COOL OR SCARY?  Yawn.

 

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? D’Artagnan.  OK so I know he’s only a fictional character.  You do know that’s what I am?

 

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK:  Beer.  No it’s not Saki—I’m from California—not Japan.  I mean if I were really so Japanese would there be an “L” in my name?

 

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Oh Puleezzze.  Is there anyone who still believes in that nonsense?  This is the 23rd Century!

 

EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?  Yes—mom always made me eat all my vegetables.  She said it would make me tall and brawny. Sigh.

 

GUYS—WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GIRL FOR HER SHIRT?   I’m a little more subtle than that.  But believe me we eventually get there…

 

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Starship Captain.

 

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Thanks but I’m over the purple hair punk stage I went through as a teenager.

 

IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? “So many woman so little time” in the er…appropriate place.

 

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Only with every woman on the crew.  Love those miniskirts!

 

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING.   Eventually maybe—but right now I’m having too much fun to try to envision it.

 

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?  My weapons collection.

 

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Half full.  On this ship you better be an optimist—Captain’s orders.

 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? All and any—I’m an equal opportunity drinker…

 

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? Ambidextrous. 

 

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Of course?  I’m a master at any instrument.

 

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? A rake.

 

WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED?  Chekov—he’s hiding from the Captain.

 

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? Infinity and beyond.

 

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A Galaxy 3000.  Sigh. That was my idea of power when I was a teenager.

 

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? The Enterprise.

 

FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Fencing.

 

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. Janice knows how to make even a plant purr.

 

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO

RESPOND TO IT. Nyota.  She’s still sulking.  Jeez it wasn’t my fault what the Mirror Sulu did!

 

The End

 

Please write to me and let me know what you thought.

 

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