Turning Point

Before a special experience in eighth grade, clarinet playing was only a filler for the required music credit. Every other day, I'd pull out my instrument in the band room like I would pull out my calculator in math class, and try to play the right notes for the right lengths at the right time. The day before a band quiz, I would spend ten minutes rehearsing a passage so I'll receive a check plus like I would study for a history test. My private lesson teacher probably loathed our lessons as much as I did because she and I both knew that we had forty-five minutes of lecturing, and being lectured, about good practicing habits ahead of us.

Yes, this was before a very special experience in eighth grade - one that altered my perception of music and clarinet playing as a whole.

After spending two months working with me on the same music and realizing that I cannot sound any better without practice, my teacher assigned me a new piece -- a clarinet sonata by Saint Saen. She also gave me a CD with Paul Meyer playing the same piece. I've never listened to any classical CDs before this one, and was as enthusiastic about listening to it as I was about practicing. However, I still popped it into my CD player one night when I had nothing better to do.

Wow.

That night was the first time music really appealed to me. I found myself melting in the cradling of the first movement, waving my arms insanely to the intense melody of the fourth and gasping at every unique harmony in between. The whole twenty minutes of the piece was an emotional journey that brought me from laughter to tears. And I loved it! The recording left a burning desire in me to recreate what I heard, and to move other people the same way this music has moved me. So I practiced my head off.

My teacher recalls the lesson that following week: "He strode into the room confidently and played everything correctly the first time through!" That was one of the greatest private lessons I ever had. Having gotten the mechanical obstacles out of the way, my teacher and I worked on real music - phrasing, interpretation, etc. And we played a whole movement through without stopping in the middle. For the first time, I felt the coherence and passion of a continuous piece of music. Coming out of MY instrument! The lesson went over time because we enjoyed rehearsing the sonata so much.

I've been practicing clarinet and performing regularly ever since then. The most satisfying moments would be during a performance, when I notice members of the audience swaying in their seats to my melody and breathing with my phrases. The ability to touch people's hearts has always been something I wished to possess, and I find it truly a thrilling sensation to guide my audience through the same emotional journey that I embarked on that night. Clarinet playing is a part of me now, and I have decided to pursue it as a career even though all of my relatives insinuate (very nicely, of course) that I will starve. I could easily say that the turning point in my life would be Saint Saen's clarinet sonata; it is what revealed to me the power of music and my own potential.