Dr. Philip Payne

Hello, I am Philip Payne.
I'm not really a doctor although my mom always wanted me to be one.
They usually earn lots of money. I think she also wanted the free medical care.
Who can blame her?

The Absurdity of it!

It is funny enough to think of a Doctor named Payne, but what about my first name - Philip.
I live in the Southern States. Philip is often shortened to Phil.
Down here in Dixie it comes out sounding like "feel"!

Picture This

You are laying there in the Emergency Room of your favorite hospital. You are wondering how in the world you let that Ingrown Toenail get so bad (about the size of a small orange only darker). You arent thinking of much except maybe how they manage to keep the sheets so cold. Every time your heart beats your toe gets a bit bigger and the stars circling your head get a bit brighter.

In breezes this person - must be a nurse (male or female - you are not sure which, the hair on the lip is confusing you). It is about 6 1/2 feet tall and chewing gum. It leans over your poor toe and thumps it like a ripe melon! Then it leans over your head, shows you its teeth (a smile perhaps?) and says

"Dont worry sugar, Dr. Feel Pain will be here in a sec."

Could He Afford Groceries?

I dont think Dr. Phil Payne would have had a weight problem. It is more likely it would be a "Wait" problem - Waiting for a paitent!

Move over Dr. Giggles, there is a new guy in town!

Hope you enjoyed it!

I hope this nonsense brought a chuckle into your life. That is its intention.

Oh yes, this is my very first attempt at a Web Page. My humor tends to be a bit dry. I hope you were'nt bored.

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