Why the '70s?

In the ‘70s, everyone was American.
They were mostly good looking,
all men had sideburns
everyone had big collars
hanging off eyesore shirts
(but they were cool, as now).

Everyone was on the make -
whether it be milk-toast liberal with kids
or establishment conservative with blazer
accompanying cufflinks, big tie
and obligatory mid-40s ex-prom queen wife
who couldn’t have a film of her own.

Everyone who didn’t fit into
middle class suburbia
were crooks, or to be correct, hoods
with leather jackets, moustaches
occasional afros and an attitude.

Everyone listened to bands and songs you know,
there were no records beyond the Top 40
no Acker Bilk, no Nana, no Peter Frampton.

All hoods were either hip dudes or old Mafia types

There were no deserving poor in the ‘70s.
All poor people were crooks,
misfits, or really nasty people
who walked around in their underwear, cursing.
There were no student radicals who did not later recant,
women always wore pastel and artificial fabrics.
Blacks were always lazy, or crazy.

Even disco was white

The whole world went on hold
while camera crews were there
to capture the wondrous ‘70s
firmly entrenched on celluloid
now regurgitated on our screens.

‘Ya gotta love the ‘70s’

Everything important happened then –
all the family crises,
bank robberies, drug busts
political scandals and pop star deaths.

There were no coal strikes (they were edited out),
no Energy Crisis, no coups in Central and Latin America (they're on the ‘directors cut’).
There were no Green Bans, no Love Canal;
they just weren’t interesting enough
and couldn’t get a movie deal.
Yeah, everything was just fine, just cozy -
everyone was cool and thin and the future was rosy.

Forget the ‘60s, lets live the ‘70s again